Satan Calls for Nuclear Power Ban

Topeka, Kansas (TDB) — Addressing reporters at a hastily called press conference, a visibly frustrated Satan today called on the world’s leaders to shut down all existing nuclear power plants and place a permanent moratorium on the building of new ones.

Speaking from the steps of his beloved Westboro Baptist Church while flanked by its leaders, the Son of Perdition announced that, “Human beings, in spite of all the technological advances achieved in recent centuries, are not qualified to manage such powerful and potentially deadly forces,” adding, “and frankly, I’m getting rather annoyed with the little pissants who’ve been stealing my thunder — whether intentionally or not.”

When asked to elaborate — and after revealing his horns and putting on a name tag so that many in attendance could distinguish him from WBC founder Fred Phelps — the Leviathan explained:



After taking a moment to compose himself, the Ruler of the Darkness, who at one point was visibly amused while reading signs held by members of Phelps’ congregation, concluded by saying, “For what it’s worth, I like humans. I’ve always had a lot of fun with them. I hope the human race will continue to thrive for millennia to come. But if the events of the past few days fail to serve as a lesson, then unfortunately my work here is truly done. For those who aren’t catching my drift, I’ll give you one last hint: two words — Mayan calendar…”

http://thedesperateblogger.com/2011/03/satan-calls-for-nuclear-power-ban/