The Keystone Pipeline Never Ceases to Amaze

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a14532480/keystone-pipeline-leak-cause/

The Keystone Pipeline Never Ceases to Amaze
Remember last fall's leak?
By Charles P. Pierce
Jan 2, 2018


You may recall that, last November, our old friend the Keystone XL pipeline, the continent-spanning death funnel and longtime conservative fetish object, sprang a particularly ill-timed leak, drowning a field on the border between the two Dakotas with 210,000 gallons of the world’s dirtiest carbon fuel. This happened just as the officials in Nebraska were deciding that, yes, it was OK with them if TransCanada ran its death funnel through that state, and perilously close to the Oglalla Aquifer. As I said, very bad timing all around.

Now, though, we discover through our reading of the Bismarck Tribune, that the leak may have been caused because the Kanadian Katzenjammers had a really bad idea.



In other words, the pipeline usually is heavy enough to sink below the groundwater—which sounds like an altogether splendid idea in and of itself—but, when there’s too much groundwater, they weigh it down with concrete that eventually breaks the pipeline that is, you know, below the groundwater.

I’m sure the Department of the Interior, a wholly owned subsidiary of Gargantua Energy LLC, will get right on this problem.