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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsLucky Bastard Gets To Be In Coma
Sorry, but this is pretty much how I feel these days.
https://local.theonion.com/lucky-bastard-gets-to-be-in-coma-1822421983
FORT WORTH, TXNoting that everything is coming up roses for the man in a prolonged state of deep unconsciousness, sources reportedly expressed feelings of envy Thursday toward local lucky bastard Peter Marden who gets to be in a coma. That lucky son of a bitchI wish I could relax all the time like that, said area woman Susan Bischoff, sighing longingly after glimpsing her cousins reclined, motionless body currently hooked up to a vital signs monitor and feeding tube. He doesnt have to work or talk to anybody or open his eyes. Plus, he never has to decide what to eat or even chew. Hes basically on a year-and-a-half vacation where he gets to chill in bed all day while his friends and family bring him balloons and flowers. That fucker gets all the breaks. At press time, doctors confirmed that the lucky bastard hit the jackpot again and would remain in a coma for at least six months longer than expected.
longship
(40,416 posts)One can always tell.
njcpa1978
(114 posts)Seems like President Superlative has been that way for a year.
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,350 posts)Please wake me for the 2018 general election. And, just in case I can hear while comatose, keep Fox News off my TV.
Thanks.