“So, when the president turned to me and said he wanted to give me the O.P.L. job, I got a call from Reince: ‘Don’t take the O.P.L. job. You can be the finance director for the R.N.C. Stay at your company.’ Blah, blah, blah. I said, ‘No, no, no. I’m gonna take the O.P.L. job. I want to work with the president.’ How many times in my life am I gonna be able to work in the White House and work for the president of the United States? And Reince’s answer was, ‘Actually, I’m gonna do everything I can [to help you].’ He did say this because he’s a Washingtonian. That’s what they do to you, they say, ‘golly gee’ to your face and they act like Richie Cunningham to your face. They’re Richie Cunningham and they’re Opie from The Andy Griffith Show, but they’re the fucking Sith Lord behind your back. They’re hitting you with a lightsaber behind your back.” In fact, according to Scaramucci, Priebus disinvited Scaramucci’s parents from the January 22 swearing-in ceremony for the new White House staff.

-snip-

The Mooch continued: “He gets this whole nefarious research packet over to The New York Times. They love this stuff. Boom: HNA is this mysterious, nefarious company. Then he goes to [Steve] Bannon [then Trump’s chief strategist] and he says, ‘I’m gonna get you on the National Security Council if that’s where you want to go, but you’ve got to join forces with me and take out Scaramucci.’” (A source close to Bannon said it was “laughable” to think that he agreed to join forces with Priebus against Scaramucci to get on the N.S.C.) Scaramucci continued, “I helped Bannon through the three months that he was on the campaign, and we had a good relationship. But Bannon turns on me, because Bannon is ultimately railing against the swamp, but he’s actually a cock of the swamp. He’s the creature from the Black Lagoon, Bannon. He acts more swamp-like than any person that’s ever become a Washingtonian. So for all of his railing on the swamp, he is literally the pig in George Orwell’s Animal Farm that stands on his two legs the minute he gets power. He is the creature from the Black Lagoon.

-snip-

At the Trump Hotel, it was Stephen Bannon on the line. “Oh, it’s Steve Bannon! This is a guy I thought was a friend. This is a guy who I wrote a 10-point memo for when he joined the campaign. And I was working alongside of him throughout the time during the campaign, right? O.K., so now I’m in the Trump Hotel. The phone is ringing and Steve says, ‘How are you?’ ‘How am I? What do you mean how am I?’ He says, ‘Hey, you want to know something? You want to know what your chances are to become the comms director this morning here at the White House? You want to know what your chances are?’ I said, ‘What are my chances, Stephen?’ [Replied Bannon]: ‘Zero! You got that, man? Zero. You got it? Zero.’ I said, ‘Zero, O.K., I didn’t realize that the word ‘president’ was in front of your last name, Stephen, because if it was, if ‘president’ was in front of your last name, my chances would be less than zero.’ I said, ‘But the guy who has ‘president’ in front of his last name, I kind of have 100 percent. Now what do you want to do? Do you want to continue to fight with me, because we can fight all day and all night now that I’m in the White House with you? Or we can declare peace and work alongside each other to help the president with his agenda. What do you want to do?’”

Bannon tried to convince Scaramucci that he wasn’t up to the job. “He says to me, ‘You’re not equipped. This Russia thing, you won’t know how to handle it properly, you won’t know how to communicate it. Reince and I want to offer you a number of different jobs. Come and see us at 9:30 in the morning in the chief of staff’s office.’

“I tell Bannon, ‘O.K. I’m happy to go see you at 9:30.’ I go to the White House—I have my badge. I go upstairs and say hello to Ivanka. [She says,] ‘Are you ready?’ I say, ‘I’m totally ready, no problem.’ I go downstairs. I have a 30-minute meeting with Reince and Bannon. And Priebus is now, he’s pulling the Howdy Doody, Richie Cunningham delivery and ‘Oh golly gee shucks, we’re friends.’ I’m like, ‘Reince, we can spare the ceremony. I know that you dislike me. I now dislike you. You can spare the ceremony.’ I said, ‘I’m looking at the two of you jamokes. If my network took a shit it would be the combination of the two of you. I’m very, very frustrated with the two of you, I’m going to tell you right now.’”

At 10 A.M. on July 21, they headed into the Oval Office to see Trump. “He’s hot. Jared is in the office, Ivanka, me, Sarah [Huckabee Sanders], Hope [Hicks], and the two jamokes. The president is hot. He says, ‘Scaramucci is going to come in, he’s going to be the comms director.’ He’s dictating a press release to Sarah who is writing it all down, and then he turns to Priebus and he says, ‘I don’t want him reporting to you. He’s going to report directly to me. I don’t want him tainted with your stench. I know the two of you guys have been leaking on me and leaking on other people in the administration, and I want it to stop, and this guy’s in charge now. He’s going to fix the Comms Department; he’s going to fire the leakers.’ They are now super pissed. They walk out. I go the other way with Sarah, and then Sarah’s as white as a ghost. I’m getting the stern looks of anger and hatred from Sean Spicer. I’m like, ‘I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that for. If you want to work with me that’s great, and if you don’t that’s fine too.’ He goes into the president’s office and he resigns. He comes back and he announces that he’s resigned, and I said, ‘O.K., that’s great.’ Trump’s irritated. He says, ‘These guys are unbelievable. I gave them the job of a lifetime, they’re letting everybody down. They’re letting me down.’” (Spicer could not be reached for comment.)

-snip-