Trump to His Generals:

"Boys, here are some points on the parade:

1. I want all of the soldiers to march with that, what do you call it, duck step. It looks professional.
2. We need big missiles on launch trucks. What? We don't have those? Build some then!
3. Can we get, you know, a ship in the parade? A big one! That would be great!
4. I want a strong, professional, straight, right-arm salute from everyone as they pass my reviewing stand.
5. I need a bunch of official medals and ribbons for the uniform I'm having made. And six stars, in a circle. And six stripes on the sleeve. I'm Commander-in-Chief, you know! I outrank every one of you Generals, dammit!
6. My people tell me that tanks might damage the street. Can you put wheels on them, or some rubber booties, or something?
7. I want to see all of my Generals and Admirals in this parade. I want them to march by my stand and salute smartly!
8. I want a float in the parade with A-bombs on it. Real ones. We need to show Rocket Boy what we've got. See to that.
9. I want 12 B-52 bombers to fly over, real low, during the parade. Get them to put out red, white, and blue smoke, OK?
10. Can we get some of those inflatable things like Thanksgiving in here. Put uniforms on them or something.

All right. That's it for now. You're excused!"