Rewrite of an old Nixon joke: Few would suspect it, but Donald Trump

actually has a favorite rosebush in the White House Rose Garden and sometimes slips out there to munch a Big Mac and compose a tweet or two.

Well, after that last snowfall, old Donnie waddles out there to, you know, "think", and---lo and behold!---the grounds crew has not only covered his rosebush with snow blown off the walk, but SOMEONE has written "FUCK TRUMP" across it IN URINE!

As we can all imagine, Donald went berserk! He actually ran back to the Oval Office and summoned Sessions and Pompeo to come immediately. After sputtering through an explanation of the "emergency", he directed that they drop everything and find out ASAP just WHO HAD DONE THIS! Both scurried out while Trump fumed.

Bright and early the next morning, both disciples entered the Oval Office again to face Donnie. "Well", he demanded, "what's the deal? Who is responsible?"

"Well, sir", began Pompeo, "we have some good news and some bad news."

"Give me the good news first!" roared Trump.

"Very well" replied Pompeo, "we are absolutely certain than the urine is Bannon's".

"AHAH!" Donnie chortled. "Now I've got that SOB. He'll regret this till the day he dies! I'll see to that!" Then, after a pause, he asked: "What's the bad news?"

"The handwriting", snickered Sessions, "is Melania's!"