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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI'm starting to piss off Republican friends and family
I can't keep silent when they intentionally misrepresent things.
Like the whole stupid "he didn't build that" thing. They KNOW what "that" refers to but intentionally take it out of context, every single time. And I call them on it every single time.
And calling Obama a socialist. I call them on that every single time too. They either have no idea what a socialist is, or they are intentionally lying.
I'm worried that some of these relationships won't survive the election. But I can't keep silent. I figure if they're willing to risk it, then so be it, I will be willing too.
How is everyone handling this? And what specific issues are you arguing about?
DCBob
(24,689 posts)I try to bite my tongue but sometimes I just cant hold back.
rurallib
(62,451 posts)They are not my immediate family so when they show off their ignorance I am happy to 'correct.'
Life is too short to put up with that crap any more.
use the republican talking point , and :" stand your ground ".
savannah43
(575 posts)Sorry! My cat got on the keyboard again.
footinmouth
(747 posts)Its the only thing I can do. I'm way outnumbered.
cindyperry2010
(846 posts)from a rmoney nut working the phones i guess and she kept saying rmoney and the obamacare i first started off with oh you mean rmoneycare improved she was taken aback and tried again then i said oh you mean the affordable care act she tried again i said look sister you aren't gonna win so get the hell off my phone
freshwest
(53,661 posts)HCE SuiGeneris
(14,994 posts)Sirveri
(4,517 posts)Food for thought...
Siwsan
(26,295 posts)My elderly mom and aunt watch fox practically 24-7 and hold what they hear to be nothing but the truth. Doesn't matter if you present them with direct evidence of the lies and misrepresentations. They don't want to know. I've tried arguing, reasoning, and at times flat out laughing but now I just shake my head and change the subject. Nothing will get through to them. It's like I've told numerous people, fox news is like intellectual crack. Watch enough of it and your brain will atrophy.
I've even been 'de-friended' by a super catholic tea party cousin who seems quite convinced I'm beyond salvation. Funny, I think the same about him.
rustydog
(9,186 posts)right-wing talking points...I post rebuttals from 99%, Raw Story, Truthout, politicus, rolling stone, move on, etc. I'm pissing them off and I don't care!
monmouth
(21,078 posts)have family in Jersey who I no longer speak to. Super hyper conservative Catholics. I still pray for them.
Blanks
(4,835 posts)My family is fairly quiet on politics on Facebook, but old friends are as conservative as the day is long.
I'm originally from Idaho. I don't think the Obama camp is putting a lot of money out in Idaho. So as far as they know Romney is kicking ass because everyone they know is gonna vote for him. The ones who aren't voting Romney aren't going to admit it.
There are some places where it may not be in our best interest to argue a lot. Idaho isn't going to go blue, and it isn't worth ruining old friendships over.
I hope to make them see that the world will be fine if Obama wins again. I'm not going to change their vote, but I have tried to tone down the negativity. They seem to feed on one another if you don't express disapproval.
HeartlandDem
(80 posts)just can't tolerate the lies anymore... so I confront them with the facts... which they hate so they change the subject to some other lie they heard and the cycle repeats itself. sigh, tiresome.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)They can't stand Obama, but luckily, they aren't very thrilled about Romney either.
Robyn66
(1,675 posts)I have friendships over 20 years old that are ending and family relationships that are strained. Its just very very difficult to know Republicans.
freshwest
(53,661 posts)barbtries
(28,811 posts)either have blocked me entirely or quit facebook. i think it may be the former. my sister herself asked me to leave politics off my facebook page but i told her no way, i'm trying to raise consciousness. my sister and i will keep loving each other, and for the most part keep our conversations away from politics.
a neat irony is that on facebook her son and i have engaged as we had not for over 20 years. we agree on most everything.
demwing
(16,916 posts)and many are very racist, but on my mom's side of the family there is a big group of old school progressives. Because they are scattered all over the US, I never would have known this without Facebook.
So I just keep plugging away - the right winger relies don't talk to me or respond, and the lefties always ask for more and love it when I deliver.
Apart from the cold shoulders from my relies, I have lost two friends over politics, and I initiated the cut in contact. The two were high school buds that had become very wealthy, and responded to my politics by getting vile and hateful. One was over Obama's race, the other was laughing over the OWS police brutality incidents. No loss to me..who the fuck needs friends like that?
NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)I even got my old principal from baptist school involved in the smackdown...and boy did I smack some shit down. Cant wait to hear about this
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)If you were steeped in what those folks have to say about Mormonism, it is delicious to serve them heaping helpings of their own venom back to them.
HCE SuiGeneris
(14,994 posts)RedStateLiberal
(1,374 posts)Most of them end up unfriending me after we get into any debate over politics. They can't handle the truth or respect opposing opinions. I have to be very careful to remain civil (even when they are not) but that doesn't even help. They take it as a disrespect for simply disagreeing, even when I back my opinion up with facts.
This has caused me to stop getting into back and forths on FB. It's not worth it and never ends good with the right-wingers. I usually just give my thoughts with the facts that support my opinion and just let it go no matter what they come back with to try to spin it. That way any lurkers will have the truth and see how unreasonable the RW talking points and lies truly are.
Recently I got into a discussion on FB about the NCAA and Penn State which turned into that person bringing up my politics - which had nothing to do whatsoever with our conversation. My words were twisted and they tried to make it personal and all about me. This was a close relative. I'm now avoiding FB like the plague.
Good luck to you if you continue to engage the closed minded righties. I suggest you just put the truth out there and ignore their pathetic responses because they will never...ever...admit they are wrong and will give no respect to your opinions or the facts.
Patiod
(11,816 posts)so I don't have to see their nonsense. I used to counter their stuff, but I think they blocked me.
One friend of mine, Mike, who posts stuff from Daily Kos, etc, has some asshole who responds to EVERY post of his with "The economy, jobs, the national debt".
Today, the dickhead posted that in response to a posting about Sally Ride's partner not being able to get survivor benefits.
Mike probably didn't want to alienate his friend, but that isn't a worry for me.
I replied "Your friend must think the Romney plan of "do even MORE of what we did under Bush to get us into this mess" - even less regulation of financial markets, cut taxes even further, and increase defense spending (maybe get us into some more wars while we're at it) - is going to fix the economy, jobs and the national debt. Hand the keys back to the folks who drove us into the ditch - yeah, that's the ticket".
The good thing is that this fellow can't really do anything about me posting something to our mutual friend.
RedStateLiberal
(1,374 posts)Keep fighting the good fight!
Patiod
(11,816 posts)Here's what he wrote in reply:
"Mike's friend ___ probaly thinks that Mitt better soon start defining his strategies to address the issues, define his positions with specifics, or Mike's friend ___ probably thinks Obama will get a second ter, which Mike's friend ___ probably thinks would be an irrecoverable disaster for America and Americans. I hear rumors that he's quite prepared to not vote at all because he's not probably gonna vote based on some idjit ideology."
So Obama is a disaster, but Romney has no ideas, so......"I'm not going to vote".
That works for me. These internets are fun.
(He then went on in subsequent posts to ask why we're all so afraid of Glen Beck. Huh? I figured I'd let Mike handle that one)
RedStateLiberal
(1,374 posts)We just hate lying liars who manufacture insane conspiracy theories because of partisan politics.
Sentath
(2,243 posts)RedStateLiberal
(1,374 posts)I'm really surprised that loon hasn't inspired more wingnuts to resort to violence. At least he's off Faux News.
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)KNR
Anansi1171
(793 posts)It cannot be easy and certainly unpopular. Those who stick up through it, Thank you!
gollygee
(22,336 posts)They have stopped trying to tell me he wasn't born in the US and/or is Islamic, after much arguing back and forth the past few years. I always express upset over the suggestion that someone who is not Christian should be excluded from becoming President. More bigotry. I hate it. Don't complain out of one side of your mouth that he's a Muslim and then complain out of the other side of your mouth about the minister of his Christian church.
NNN0LHI
(67,190 posts)Works every time.
Don
Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)HCE SuiGeneris
(14,994 posts)Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)* as Sec. Of The Treasury Or Education if they steal it again? War criminals all. And I do include all of the * admin, and Poppy, the BFEE.
And I pray to the Universe not to let darth pick the VP ever again. Think he's arrogant enough to try?
I'm not sure we've survived those years yet sometimes.
Frightening photos, btw.
bongbong
(5,436 posts)Illustrating the "Drunken Fratboy Years, 2001-2009"
otohara
(24,135 posts)my best friend since middle school.
She moved to Atlanta with her cool husband, got divorced, got married again to a GOP'er.
It took a few years of hearing his right-wing bullshit.
She voted for Bush and believed all the lies.
I figured we didn't have ANYTHING in common and severed ties.
DearAbby
(12,461 posts)Did Rush mention this before or after the male enhancement Commercial?
Edit to add...the pause, and the expression on their faces as they try to remember what Rush said...priceless.
hay rick
(7,643 posts)Friends and family. They take my abuse or they don't discuss politics or they are long gone. It was difficult at the time, but now it's pretty much done.
FLyellowdog
(4,276 posts)I keep getting these stupid emails which misrepresent the facts (at best) and so today I had to craft a rather lengthy reply and sent it to all the people listed in the originan email. I don't even know most of them, but they're being lied to as well so I try to do my part in correcting the situation.
I have some GOP friends who refuse to discuss politics with me...maybe because they have nothing of any import to say . Or whatever.
But these people are really stupid....and stubborn...and dangerous.
So many issues to screw up....so many republicans who are brain dead...It exhausts me.
Z_California
(650 posts)I finally had to reply when I saw the 4% tax thing. Complete lies. I explained how the tax really works including and told everyone on the email list "just wanted to make sure you didn't panic like I did when I saw this".
I think the key is to not sound judgemental when you send out "corrections", you just want your friends to have the correct information.
democrat_patriot
(2,774 posts)and I just sit there and take it? Tired of apologizing for being a liberal democrat.
"Obama hasn't done anything for this economy." - Really? How would you know? 90% of his agenda has been blocked. When he's allowed to pass whatever he wants and the economy is still tanking; I'll vote republican. (All in a calm voice).
I also like to bring graphs about deficit spending, job growth under democratic presidents VS. Republican presidents etc.
If I walk through this:
You think we should punish gays? Not allow them to adopt or see their loved ones in the hospital? "umm..no"
You like clean water or dirty water?
You like clean air or dirty air?
Kids liking public school?
What prevents more abortion? Telling people it's illegal - or helping single mothers raise a child?
We should have pre-existing condition clauses?
Whats more expensive? Medicare or visiting an emergency room?
Want to keep Soc Ses, medicare, medicaid?
At the end - dude, you're a Democrat.
DrewFlorida
(1,096 posts)I decided a couple years ago that anytime a friend posted inaccurate statements (lies) or supported hypocritical stances by rightwing politicians, that I was going to set the record straight. I have made an concerted effort to #1 Say what I mean, #2 Mean what I say, #3 Don't say it mean. In many cases this approach has created intelligent back and forth discussion about varying topics, however in most cases the righties whom I have insulted with the truth tend to stick to their lies regardless or the facts, it is usually quite obvious they have the standard Fox News talking points, and they hold their position like a drowning person to a life saver buoy. I have started posting a daily quote by a famous person/politician and various political cartoons and graphics, which have been very effective responses to some of the foolish things my republican friends and family post.
One of the benefits and the main reason I challenge the lies and disinformation is for the benefit of those who don't really understand the complexity or reality of various issues, and therefore get to read both sides of the issue and are better informed because of it. It is these people whom I see as possibly being swayed by my posts. Lies repeated often enough eventually become mistaken as truth, therefore it is very important to refute lies at every instance.
As far as my relations with these people are concerned, I generally feel that in order to have a relationship, both people in the relationship matter, and if I have to hear their constant lies and hateful ignorance, then damn well they are going to hear my truthful facts and compassion. If that is too much for them to handle and they decide they can not be friends with me any longer, well....they have the right to choose to un-friend me, or to disassociate themselves from me. Usually what happens is, they tone down their rhetoric and reduce the frequency of it, knowing that it will be challenged every time.
Harry Truman once said;
"I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell."
Keep up the good work!
proud patriot
(100,715 posts)I have one SIL who is a teapublican , she refuses debate and has my links blocked on facebook , yet she will use her daughters account to make digs w/o debate.
On the facebook page " the political clearing house" (which is debte between left and right)
they are idiots who I enjoy toying with.. More DUers should join the page
treestar
(82,383 posts)And I always respond. They bring up politics, they deserve an honest response. Not just head nodding. Of course that is what they expect. But enough of their dominance due to their bullying nature. If they don't want to hear about politics, they need to quit bringing it up.
OmahaBlueDog
(10,000 posts)Ever since righty radio got popular, most Republicans I meet don't want to discuss issues. They want to make snide remarks and regurgitate what they heard on Rush/BillO/Boortz.
Marr
(20,317 posts)politics with me. All I do is frame everything in a 'hardworking everyday real man' vs. 'effete corporate daddy's boy' way.
My relatives are almost all working poor. They'll reflexively accept the Repubican line if that seems more macho, but if you frame it as something pampered and aristocratic, they'll dump it without a blink. It's weird but, there you go.
lovemydog
(11,833 posts)Bravo.
Segami
(14,923 posts)Before they sit down.......LOL!
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A REPUBLICAN
By John Gray
Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot
full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for
minimum water quality standards.
He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His
medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure
their safety and work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers
medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their
employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares
his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to
eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
industry.
Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is
properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents
because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting
on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and
takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-
hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our
air.
He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to
work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation
fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a
contributor.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay,
medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some
liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
want his employees to call the union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker
compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn't think
he should loose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who
ruined the banking system before the depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below
market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that
Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and
earned more money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to
dad's; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal
fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live
in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until
some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republicans would still
be sitting in the dark)
He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social
Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could
take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad
he gets back in his car for the ride home.
He turns on a radio talk show, the host keeps saying that liberals
are bad and conservatives are good (He doesn't tell Joe that his
beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit
Joe enjoys throughout his day). Joe agrees, "We don't need those big
government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I'm a self-made man
who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I
have."
gollygee
(22,336 posts)Liberal_Stalwart71
(20,450 posts)We're also black Americans, so we've got the president's back 100 percent!!
gollygee
(22,336 posts)but there are a few Republicans. Sigh. It's more the friends than family even. I've had to stop talking to some people all together, and being white might be part of it, in that they would never have spouted off some of the garbage they've spouted off if I were not white. Even racists generally try not to look racist, and if you're white, the issue doesn't necessarily come up. Until you have a black president. They pull themselves out of the slime and speak out in that case.
progressivebydesign
(19,458 posts)My recently ex-father and mother in law are brainwashed fox "news" types. So glad to be away from them. I had to call him out a few times for being a flat-out racist in my home Will not be missing them.
coalition_unwilling
(14,180 posts)Raine
(30,540 posts)discuss politics that way we can remain a close loving family.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)I start out keeping my mouth shut about politics, but they always seem to say something not just stupid, but like deliberately untruthful. I can't sit back and not respond to lies.
Curtland1015
(4,404 posts)But my wife isn't.
Anyway, I try not to start political discussions around them. It just gets unpleasant and it just ends up with everyone being pissy to each other.
Unfortunately, my wife's family can't seem to show me the same courtesy. The crazy ass garbage that comes out of their mouths... yeesh.
liberal N proud
(60,346 posts)Better to piss them off than letting them piss on you.
Phlem
(6,323 posts)-p
Jack Sprat
(2,500 posts)I probably went a little too far with that.
liberal N proud
(60,346 posts)And this was long after we were all grown up.
I don't talk to him too much anymore, I can't stand his whole attitude. He went so far as to tell my father that he was going to go to hell because he was a Catholic and voted Democratic. My 89 year old father didn't take that sitting down.
Whiskeytide
(4,463 posts)... My inlaws are conservatives, but I'm fortunate that they are generally reasonable, and agree with the dems on a number of issues, especially my FIL, who I have become pretty close with. I have had some heated discussions with my MIL, but they are generally friendly. She thinks I'm nuts, and I think she's simply misguided.
My brothers and sisters and most of their families are a bunch of lawyers and teachers, so the dem vibe is strong. One engineer, but he'd rather fish than talk politics.
Phlem
(6,323 posts)Could you imagine hearing a "Romney" like voice 1st thing in the morning. It just gets worse during the day.
He know's I don't like him and I am fine with THAT!
It's probably going to bite me in the ass when he kicks off, but I just couldn't stand it anymore.
Hang in there brother/sister, it going to be a long haul but worth every moment.
-p
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)sadbear
(4,340 posts)Congratulations.
ErikJ
(6,335 posts)Since Obama took office and his economic stimulus started in March 2009:
--Dow is UP 6000 from 6500 to 12,500 (now its 1300-so it has DOUBLED)
--GDP is UP 11% from -9% to 2%
--Corporate profits set records in 2010 and 11.
--Bush was LOSING 700,000 jobs a MONTH and for the past 2 years
Obama has been ADDING up to 200,000 jobs a month.
--oh yeah, he got Bin Laden!
-- and Obama SAVED the American auto industry!
Not bad for a Commy, socialist, fascist, Nazi, Kenyan Muslim Marxist eh?
RedStateLiberal
(1,374 posts)savannah43
(575 posts)They're all progressives and much more intelligent and informed than most of the GOP'ers I know.
Manifestor_of_Light
(21,046 posts)Quit visiting their FB page (the older one) b/c of his posting anti-Obama racist right wing horseshit.
He spouts this crap and doesn't even understand it. And his liberal girlfriend is defending him! It's like a brick wall. I will talk to them again when he quits being a hatemonger and a bigot.
I send him facts and he ignores them.
The younger boy is an idiot in a tiny, depresssing, hot, stinky, dark (blankets over the windows????WTF??) house with two cats and a yappy dog. And they only are interested in fantasy movies and heavy metal. Nothing to talk about. Hubby's sister sent me an email about how we would be up there to hang out with the first grandchild all the time. I told her why we would NOT be there. The town is depressing, the house is depressing and the beasts set off my allergies.
gopiscrap
(23,765 posts)since October of 1980 and the Reagan-Carter election!
I was too young to vote in that election!
matmar
(593 posts)..to illegal aliens. Reagan raised taxes on the middle class. Reagan cut and ran from Lebanon. Reagan gave arms to our enemy Iran.
Was Reagan a socialist?
ErikJ
(6,335 posts)truebluegreen
(9,033 posts)I usually refer to that twit as Saint Ronnie of the Raygun
Jack Sprat
(2,500 posts)and until his election, I never noticed any real national divide in politics. Reagan used his theatrical skills for persuasion and began the (us versus them) nastiness. This invited a whole new venue of talkshow hosts who used the airwaves to promote conservative idealism, which they did with the same (us versus them) derogatory insults towards everyone who didn't embrace the new Reagan conservatism. Suddenly, politics became bitter and downright personal. None of the previous Republican presidents in my lifetime (Ford, Nixon, or Eisenhower) had divided the nation like this and, of course, they weren't conservatives either. Since the election of Reagan, all politics have become poisonous, hateful, and very personal. It started a great divide between our people and even our families.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)US. What a shame. A president should try to unite the country. Reagan was an absolute destructive force to this country, often I wonder if recovery is possible, people have become so divided and the republicans have had an absolute brain drain.
ErikJ
(6,335 posts)His 9 most frightening words I'm from the Government and I'm here to help was the beginning of the end.
bongbong
(5,436 posts)It's been used by the 1% since before Roman times to keep the 99% in line (fighting each other).
TPTB really aren't smart at all; they use methods that are thousands of years old to keep themselves in car elevators.
JohnnyRingo
(18,649 posts)While you're feeling guilty for speaking out on partisan issues, your friends and family are having a field day at it. Why should they have the self righteousness to state "facts" they heard on the radio or push an agenda down your throat without a response?
I make my position known to my friends and family, as you have, and if they opt to discuss it in the future they're free to have a go at it. What I don't expect is for them to think I'll cower in the face of an improv mash-up of the day's O'Reilly Factor. I seldom bring up issues myself that would cause a heated argument with people I want to remain close, but I'm not going to let them think they're winning me over.
Politely rebut them, and tell them you're a liberal Democrat who keeps up with current events without listening through the squealing static of AM radio.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)Just regretful that our relationships have to suffer.
I absolutely don't feel guilty about not keeping silent when they spew shit.
Blanks
(4,835 posts)At least that's where I'm going with it these days.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)This time it's on Facebook. I'm losing it on these people. I've had enough. Leave your stupidity to yourself.
Richard D
(8,779 posts). . . will barely talk with me. I've lost 2 or 3 friends. Sad.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)that is a puke- one of my uncles. He defriended me. He posted a link about how we should boycott Starbucks because they support marriage equality. I said I normally boycott them about price, but now I am going to go there a few times a week. Then he posted some inane quote by Stonewall Jackson that was probably supposed to prove that Obama was a socialist. I said "oh, now we are taking advice from defenders of slavery?". That was just too much for him
riverwalker
(8,694 posts)Once the IWR passed and blood spilled, I let my family know I held Bush and GOP responsible and if they voted for him, they were equally responsible and had blood on their hands. I don't let anyone run from it, no matter who they are.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)That's just the point. I can't just not say anything, or it's like I agree with them. Especially when they get racist or homophobic. I can't keep silent. I don't get mean or sink to their level, but I say what I have to say and I don't back down.
Jack Sprat
(2,500 posts)and here is how is generally goes down. They start the arguments with constant snipes at the President being a Muslim or Socialist or some derogatory comment and I cannot sit there passively without being personally offended. It's not as if they don't know I am a Democrat and disagree totally. It is as if they think if they repeat this crap often enough, I will finally relent and stop objecting. Now why are they so rude as to think this kind of political aggression is admissable? Because they listen to Rush, Hannity, O'reilly and the other radio/TV extremists. They have destroyed all American dialogue and common due respect one to another. They have hardened the hearts of millions of their listeners.
Ineeda
(3,626 posts)RKP5637
(67,112 posts)moderate republicans. ... but they liked Sarah Palin, still an incredible WTF to me. So, I never raise political things with them.
I realized that over the years many of my friends had been republican, business friends, and as the republicans moved ever more rightward they followed them, and that's a WTF to me too. I remained the same as always, democratic and apparently I was pissing them off. They all just silently disappeared, and to that I say good riddance.
My family, they've all passed on, but were democratic for the most part. Some, I have no idea. Years ago, politics was not such a BFD that it divided families, that was before the remaining republicans totally went off the deep end.
vegasjack
(3 posts)i know i piss a lot of people off . i just can't help myself. you have to correct stupid statements
i tell people vote your pocket book
The Jungle 1
(4,552 posts)Ya know what really drives the right wild.
When you point out all the corporate welfare and then point out that it is socialism.
Every time I hear them scream socialism I ask when we will end socialist corporate welfare.
It's fun.
Shankapotomus
(4,840 posts)I let the news do my arguing for me. All the liberal responses to such usual right wing BS eventually get delivered to them anyway. I let whatever liberal and progressive victories come in the news speak for me. And this November, I'll let that speak for me, as well.
You can't teach people anything. They will automatically resist if you try. The only way a person learns is to be alone with their own thoughts and an occasional and life changing dose of reality.
soccer1
(343 posts)I've been married 25 years to a man who was a dyed-in-the-wool republican when we married. He voted for GW Bush and all Republicans prior to him. Well, after GW's first term in office my husband began to pay attention to the republican agenda. He has voted Democrat ever since. Kerry, Obama and Obama this Nov. He had to find out for himself. When I tried to "persuade" him he would get stubborn and close his mind to anything I had to say.
Even more shocking, is his brother who lives in North Carolina. He informed us the other day that he is voting for Obama in Nov., he has stopped watching Fox news and is watching Rachel Maddow. This man was the most conservative republican in our family. He's been paying attention and once that happened, he's "seen the light". He's disgusted with the Republican party, can't identify anymore with anything they represent, Amazing. He's a veteran of the Nam war, too.
So, you're absolutely correct. You can't teach people anything...they have to come to it in their own time and way, if ever.
Shankapotomus
(4,840 posts)"paying attention". If they are constantly focused on defending, they seldom get the chance to monitor the accuracy of their own beliefs. Some people love to argue and if they don't have anyone to argue with sooner, or usually later, reality intervenes and they start having an internal argument with themselves.
Your description of your relationships sounds like a good sign as these small victories at an individual family level sometimes indicate a wider cultural trend. Let's hope so.
Lint Head
(15,064 posts)lunasun
(21,646 posts)and you doublespeak for your masters too.
ErikJ
(6,335 posts)Thom Hartmann constantly has RW extremists on his show where he carves them up like turkeys with his immense knowledge of facts and history. Quite a learning experience.
Then assume that your RW friends and relatives didnt hear of the latest Republicon scandal or outrage. Because most likely they didnt. Fox will NEVER mention it. So always send them the article and link.
markpkessinger
(8,401 posts). . . and I'm no exception. I'm the youngest of five siblings. The eldest, a sister, and I are pretty much in sync politically speaking. The third and fourth eldest, a third sister and my brother, are what I would call habitual (as opposed to ideological) conservatives -- their instincts are conservative, but you can reason with them and have a productive discussion, and often find a great deal of common ground. But the second eldest, another sister, has gone off the deep end, along with her husband, into tea party madness. And wouldn't you know it, she's the one who is always bringing up politics when we all get together. It's gotten pretty ugly at times. The thing I've noticed -- and I've commented about it here before -- is that at a certain point you come up against this vitriol that is positively volcanic in its explosiveness. It got to the point that the other three and myself have all had to positively put a stop to ANY political discussion whatsoever when the second eldest is around. Sad, really.
demosincebirth
(12,543 posts)always vote the party line...maybe one, but she lives 3000miles away in N.H.
neeksgeek
(1,214 posts)No longer speak to either my Dad or me. To one of my uncles I am - and I quote - a "college-educated ass-hole" because I have some sound explanations about climate change that I learned way back when I was a physics student. His response to this is "I don't understand how somebody as smart as you could fall for this hoax!"
progressivebydesign
(19,458 posts)And the coolest thing is that I've reunited with my son, who I gave up for adoption decades ago, and turns out his politics fit in perfectly with ours! How cool is that?
I did have recently ex-in laws that are the worst of the worst when it comes to that stuff. They just regurgitate stuff they hear on fox "news". I always hated staying at their home because they'd turn fox news on at 6am full blast in several rooms, so that you can't sleep in. But I know what you're feeling... there is no talking to them. Just like my beck-bot neighbors who say things that are completely untrue and inflammatory, but they cannot be corrected. They truly are brainwashed into believing that if it's on a "news" station, it must be real.
sofa king
(10,857 posts)The middle class tax cut just passed in the Senate and, they being all Grover Norquist and shit, the tax cut should sail through the House.
Except it won't. It won't because the House is already bought and paid for to deliver a tax cut extension for the wealthy. If they let the middle class tax cut pass, they have no leverage.
So they are going to block it, to hold it hostage just like they did after the elections in 2010, when they walked into this trap.
Now, President Obama has already promised to veto any extension of tax cuts for the rich, so even if the Senate caves in and adds those cuts to the bill, the President will veto it. It ain't gonna happen.
But he will happily sign a bill extending tax cuts for the middle class. Except the Republicans can't pass it or they'll lose all their super-rich donors.
In fact, it's not going to ever happen until the Republicans lose control of the House.
What that means to your Republican friends is this: they can pay themselves up to $3000 in tax cuts just by staying home on election day.
They don't have to vote for anyone, although a straight-D vote would be the surest way to pay themselves.
Make your friends watch. Make them explain to you why their dear Republicans are blocking a tax cut for your friends, and why your friends are willing to pay money in taxes, out of their own pockets, to keep a Republican as their representative.
Republican voters aren't markedly different from the politicians who represent them: when presented with a choice, they will always take the money.
So, give them the choice! Spread the word!
Amonester
(11,541 posts)They always vote (or don't vote) for their wallets.
WTG!
ErikJ
(6,335 posts)they always do. And they probably arent too worried about their low-infornmation voters. They'd NEVER find out no matter what they do.
lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)astonamous
(1,336 posts)I do this a lot ... In fact, I was thinking this may be a good reason to get one of those medical marijuana cards because is better than
chknltl
(10,558 posts)When they call President Obama a 'socialist' ask them; "What part of a government OF BY and FOR THE PEOPLE isn't government socialism?" Stops em dead in their tracks for a moment every time.
(This next bit is lengthy, sorry, I am a Democrat. I dont know how to talk in soundbites very well. I offer this up as a possible way to prevent further schism between you and your relatives).
The issue(s) I prefer to discuss with the supporters of the current form of the gop revolve around things we should have in common. A citizens right to vote works here and is generally my first issue.
I ask them if they would support anyone from any party who would deliberately prevent them from exercising their lawful right to vote. When they say of course not I ask them if they would support anyone who would suppress millions of American citizens, that same right. They always try to say they don't want non voters voting but I drag them back in line by pointing out that I am referring to genuine living breathing registered lawful voters, would they support anyone who deliberately suppressed them from being able to actually exercise their right to vote?
Should you choose to take this topic be very sure to have your data and facts easy to back up as you will be challanged. There is information plenty regarding the GOP election fraud both historic and current. Research Bradblog, Thom Hartmann or even here in the big DU in order to have a good working understanding of this topic.
Here is a great start, this is Paul Weyrick, co-founder of the republican think tank The Heritage Foundation, in his own words regarding the citizenry exercising their right to vote: (be sure to play this for them in your discussion).
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DWPsl_TuFdes&v=WPsl_TuFdes&gl=US
Imo, regardless of being republican or Democrat, each member of the American electorate understands that our right to vote is crucial to our very democracy. We share this. Having something we share in a debate imo changes it from a debate to a discussion and discussion is key to an informed electorate. (Remember Jefferson's admonishment that democracy requires an informed electorate).
Looked at from a different perspective, when we shout at each other the biggest thing we communicate is anger. Real communication is done best without anger. My advice to you is to find something you share with those you would debate then calmly go about changing the debate to discussion. No, odds are you won't see imidiate changes but over time you will at worst gain their respect and I have brought a few out from the fog of the darkside with this tactic.l
B Calm
(28,762 posts)say good riddens! I don't need them in my life!!
coalition_unwilling
(14,180 posts)and friends right then and haven't looked back. Used Operation Shocking and Awful as my litmus test for writing off large swaths of people I might have once casually called a 'friend'. Doing my Thoreau thing of learning to live with what is 'necessary'. Turns out most of the Repigs in my life were not necessary and could be sloughed off with no long-term harm.
OnionPatch
(6,169 posts)I really don't have any Republican friends (I believe that's by design). Most of the Republicans in the family have passed away and left a whole passel of liberals to carry on their genes. My 84 yr-old mother is still around but she's the biggest leftie in the family. All I can do is argue with strangers in the opinion section of the newspaper.
just1voice
(1,362 posts)Therefore I rarely speak to anyone with an (R) next to their name, that's how anyone with a functional mind handles it.
mick063
(2,424 posts)I see that FOX News is on TV.
I shake my head.
When I was a child, he seemed much more knowledgeable about world events.
That was until FOX News came along. He has become a lemming like all the other FOX fanatics.
He believes all of their bullshit.
Mr Dixon
(1,185 posts)standingtall
(2,787 posts)If I had any republican friends or family I'd do the same. Well actually I do have a few republican family members, but they live far from me, and I haven't seen them in years.
lukkadairish
(122 posts)If they wish to represent their false version of reality, there is no choice but to rebut with facts, and I also try to cite my source from the most neutral of possible sites or commentary. I have one relative who keeps loading their Facebook page with inane 'like' photos with Obama's comments , noncontext of course, on small business. I am a small business owner. I don't even bother to refute that particular nonsense. I just begin the inevitable argument on that one with a declaration as thus.
I began my small business on my own that is true....but the sheer fact that you are posting that drivel as fact leads me to believe that you are not grown up enough to hear the rest of my success story.
Dawgs
(14,755 posts)I find it impossible to keep quiet when someone believes something stupid and it's based on lies.
Two co-workers, who I consider friends, tried to attack Obama on "you didn't build that". They both eventually were mumbling fools as they crawled out of my office.
I couldn't help it.
The Doctor.
(17,266 posts)One of my recent favorites was with an Uncle who adores Faux Noise.
I said, do you know which President has grown government the least since Eisenhower?
"Reagan?"
Nope.
"One of the Bush's?"
Nope.
Who?
"Obama."
"No, I don't believe it. It had to be a Republican."
Then I hold out my hand with a canary-eating grin from ear to ear and say, "Wanna bet?"
He's lost 3 Opal Cigars and a nice Dominican one by now, so he just says "nah..." and walks away.
At least I'm getting to him.
duhneece
(4,118 posts)But I don't always make it, that's for sure.
I try to think of R's as misguided, lied to, instead of evil...again, not always easy.
But when I do, when I plant seeds of truth, reason, compassion, I always feel better.
I try to center myself in prayer/meditation first, when I can.
duhneece
(4,118 posts)That stops the crap and/or opens up a conversation.
I came to that after many difficult moments working at a cancer treatment center, where I heard their (patients and caretakers) shit, loved them anyway, but was churning inside because I felt I couldn't argue with them. I HAD to find a way to respond, to express myself in a loving but honest manner.
It's stood me in good stead.
Remmah2
(3,291 posts)Don't families live just to piss one another off no matter what?
Last Thanksgiving my sister got pissed at me because I served brown gravy and not turkey gravy.
99Forever
(14,524 posts)I don't let stupid stand or give a lie a pass. If they don't like me because of it, then that's their problem, not mine. Being family isn't an excuse for being a tool or an idiot.
deaniac21
(6,747 posts)hamsterjill
(15,224 posts)My liberal views are constantly in the minority with family members and friends. What I find most striking is that none of the conservatives are even willing to listen to factual argument. They just pat each other on the back, thanking God that they are "all alike" and not "different" like me. Makes them all feel secure because they are amongst others that see the world as they do.
I, in turn, thank God that I have the good sense to be different from them!
Irishonly
(3,344 posts)I have one cousin who describes herself as a necon, teabaggin, Zionist Republican. She is a devout reader of Fox and calls CNN, the communist news network. She does not understand how politics work so I will ask her if she is sure she wants to debate with me. She doesn't because I start rattling off facts with proof. She hates me and I am to the point it is not a great loss.
The rest of my family thinks I am a lost cause and I accept it. We can talk about anything except politics. I have come to terms with it.
Festivito
(13,452 posts)Finely dressed persons on TV keep repeating these things.
To them, they wonder, how could you be right and the TV people, wrong.
Our number one problem is the media.
Coexist
(24,542 posts)"You keep insisting on calling Obama a Socialist, or say he wants European-Style Socialism. I normally don't engage you, but I have to tell, you sound ignorant and uninformed when you say that. And I know you are intelligent. Please stop sounding stupid."
barbtries
(28,811 posts)because i work with a couple people who could really stand to hear that...
Coexist
(24,542 posts)then said, "how would you describe him". I said, "a moderate Democrat." He said, "you don't think he's to the left of Clinton?" I said, "not everything to the left of Clinton is socialism. That said, true socialists don't like Obama - much to all of the far left in my party have serious issues with his policies. That should tell you all you need to know."
He didn't say anything after that about it - but I know I made my point. If I hadn't he would've challenged me.
barbtries
(28,811 posts)i don't think i have the guts and it might get me in trouble. but i don't know. as it is we just kind of joke about it.
Festivito
(13,452 posts)First they laugh at you. (That's them repeating those talking points. Note the chuckling they include.)
Then they try to kill you. (They will disappear you, not invite you because you're too controversial.)
Last, they will say they always thought that way.
I find that the like this stages of truth, so you might try it.
Good luck.
YoungDemCA
(5,714 posts)Or my grandfather, for that matter.
They've all drunk the Tea party Kool-Aid, big time.
Freddie
(9,275 posts)You learn things about people, good or bad. I friended an old boyfriend on FB (I'm female, Freddie is a cat) and quickly discovered he's a Tea Party Patriot. And at one time I was totally crazy about this guy and always wondered "what if"...now I know...we'd be long divorced! Still friends despite the politics.
Daemonaquila
(1,712 posts)I long ago stopped being tactful. I've pissed a lot of them off. So far, I can only claim 1 imploded friendship, and I was the one who imploded it. If they're real friends, they'll hear truth and reason. They may not like it, but they can't tell you to go DIAF if they realize you're speaking truth. If their beliefs are more important to them, even knowing there's a problem there, they're not worth it.
Snarkoleptic
(6,002 posts)My dad is a retired union machinist and my mom works for the local village. I started a shitstorm by mentioning that he'd never have retired at 62 without the union and by referring to my moms employment as socialist. They've never been radical wingnuts, but a steady diet of Fox has propagandized them and immunized them to facts.
Example- My son works at the zoo and the polar bear exhibit has some info. panels on the wall about polar ice melt and human caused global warming. Mom loudly proclaimed for all to hear the GW does not exist and it's a big leftist conspiracy. I mentioned the unprecedented string of 100+ degree days in Chicago along with record droughts and later showed her how the (durty librul hippies) at NASA and NOAA both agreed on the science. This did not sway her as Faux Newz has propagandized her to the point that no amount of factual data will upend her fixed views.
Some days it's not worth chewing through the restraints.
roody
(10,849 posts)I say, "Can you give me an example?" They have no reply.
I say, "I'm a socialist, and I can tell you that Obama is not a socialist. Believe me, I wish he were."
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)I think RW fear-mongering about Defense cuts leading to a cut in pay sucked him down into the bat-shot crazy rabbit hole.
musical_soul
(775 posts)and it's okay because they piss me off too.
I do verify in the middle of discussions that I still care about them, want to be their friend, etc. I usually clarify that I don't think they're a bad person and that I hope they can conclude the same about me.
I also try to focus on other things. Go hang out with your family and friends doing non-political activities.
raouldukelives
(5,178 posts)All pet peeves for me. Most of my extended family is rural. It used to be hard to convince them about climate change and how investing in corporations or working for them is destroying the very lands they claim to love. We'd get into pretty good heated debates involving the cyclical nature of climate change or how only the Republicans care about the farmers.
Not anymore. Now they mostly tell me I was right. People can stay happily ignorant if they spend their lives in central air McMansions and climate controlled high rises. When they actually spend every day working the land and watch it wither & die, when they see streams that used to run year round now spending a quarter of the year underground, when they see plant & animal species vanishing and new ones coming in, when they feel the heat of the sun burning them, burning them in a way they never felt before, they start to believe their own lying eyes.
Some of them still support conservatives but at least they are waking up. They aren't too blinded by money to see the consequences of the actions they have been supporting. I know when it comes right down to it they, like me, consider Redwood forests & rivers too big too fail, not banks.
ryan_cats
(2,061 posts)I've got conservative friends and family and everyone makes a point that the GOP doesn't represent them.
I got my digs in when W was living in the Whitehouse and now they give me barbs now that Obama is president.
None are hardcore GOP can do no wrong types.
kemah
(276 posts)All government spending, where would the US be without those government projects.
Bake
(21,977 posts)So turnabout is fair play.
Bake
Grammy23
(5,815 posts)My husband and I have been the Odd Balls in the family for quite a few years since we consistently vote Democratic. Last election we had an Obama sign in our yard (at our peril, I might add, since we live in NW FLorida.....a hotbed of ultra conservatism). We tried talking to various relatives to no avail. They were all determined to stick with the Repubs, in spite of the Train Wreck Bush turned out to be. The fear and lies presented about Obama and his DARK SKIN kept a lot of our relatives squarely in the Republican camp. We talked to our son and DIL but could not make any headway with them. It really grieves me that our son has moved away from the way he was raised but it is a fact.
Recently we tried to engage them again in conversation about the election hoping to get them to understand the lies and distortions that have been made about Obama. In addition, we have real fears for their financial well being, as well as ours, if the country is turned back into the hands of the same people who drove us off the cliff during the Bush years. The conversation ended badly and there were hard feelings all around. There is NO getting through to them. They repeat the right wing talking points and a lot of the same rhetoric you hear on the right wing news channels.
But here is the REALLY big thing for me. The MAJORITY of their hateful, mean spirited attitude comes from their CHURCH. They have become members of a church that is Independent of any national affiliation. And they get a steady diet why they should take a hard line against the poor and needy. And they back it up Biblically by cherry picking verses that support that view. My DIL had the nerve to tell me (via FB) that it is the job of the church to take care of the poor and when I pointed out to her that they are failing miserably, in spite of their best efforts, she took major offense to that but admitted that is true. Having worked in a non-profit related health agency, I know a tad bit about the poor and needy in this country. SHE has never held a paying job since she worked at K-Mart prior to her marriage to our son. I tried to say that the numbers are just too high for the churches to handle this problem alone. Without some government programs, there are going to be a lot of hungry people, homeless citizens and people who have to resort to the ER for ALL of their medical care.
I have a real problem with anyone who claims to be a Christian and then conveniently ignores all the words written in RED in the Bible. You know, the ones that their Lord and Savior allegedly spoke. And they do ignore them, preferring to refer to the words of Paul or another writer in the Bible who say things like, "He who is able and does not work, shall not eat." Guess THEY get to decide who is able and who "deserves" help. I, by the way, was raised Christian but have since abandoned the organized church but not necessarily the things I was taught about "loving one another", "do unto others, as you would want done unto you".
In any case, it's hard not to call them hypocrites and, in all honesty, I admit I probably suggested that they are hypocrites, since anyone who glosses over/ ignores the admonition by Jesus to take care of the poor, sick, lame, hungry etc. and still says they are Christian meets the definition of hypocrite to me.
So it's a sad thing for me and we have reached a stalemate. My DIL posted something on FB earlier this week that I know beyond a shade of a doubt was intended to bait me into a response. I completely lost my cool and ranted and raved for quite a while. I did have presence of mind NOT to respond but it hurt me more than words can say. I feel like it has changed my relationship with her and my son forever. I am not sure SHE knows this yet since we have not talked nor communicated since then. It grieves me to know that we can never talk about this again without raising the battle flags, no matter how hard I try to remain calm and not be baited into an argument. They know my hot buttons and are not afraid to push them. It takes all the effort I can muster not to get drawn into this drama because I know that their lives WILL be negatively affected if the election is won by Romney. They simply refuse to discuss any of the facts because they would rather vote for a man they think belongs to a cult, but who has disavowed his previous stance on abortion. The Gay Marriage Issue is another thing that strongly influences their thinking. And they let those two things (neither of which will ever affect them personally) influence their thinking and voting. None of the economic issues has as much hold over their thinking as abortion and gay rights. And their church just reinforces this over and over.
I think I could deal with all of this if it were not for my three grandchildren. I love them and they love me. The thought of limiting my contact with them because of the relationship I have with their father and mother over the political situation is just not something I can do. I will swallow my pride, keep my mouth shut and suffer in silence so I can be with my grandchildren. I just hope that my son and DIL do not find out the hard way how difficult their lives can be if the Republicans are back running this country from the Presidency and other branches of the government. I honestly do not think the working class/middle class can take much more from these thugs and thieves.
Sorry for this lengthy post, but there are few people I can talk to about this......one is my niece and another is my husband and he is worn out with this! So I come to DU and lurk, read other posts and find people who think more like I do. Thanks for the safe place where some of us outcasts can hang out and find solace.
lpbk2713
(42,766 posts)RedStateLiberal
(1,374 posts)My dad (a typical southern racist conservative) disowned me last night over partisan politics.
We didn't even get into an argument over politics. He just couldn't tolerate me standing up to the truth when he posted right wing crap on Facebook. I simply gave him a link to refute some blatant RW propaganda he was posting and the next thing you know he's totally flipping off on me and calling me all kinds of names plus some really hateful things that only a crazy person would say to their own son. Before I could even respond to him via email he told me that as far as he was concerned I don't exist and that I was "un-son-ed". WTF???
I was fine really fine with that because of his arrogance and hatefulness and a long history of disrespect and disinterest from my father. I don't deserve all this hate and vitriol from my own dad (who abandoned me and my Mom when I was only 5). I told him this was his decision and he'll have to live with it and that I couldn't understand how partisan politics could cause him to act in such a despicable way.
His reaction was one that I will never forgive him for. He brought up my deceased wife who died almost two years ago from ovarian cancer. He made outrageous allegations about me based on nothing but assumptions and lies he's made up in his sick twisted mind. I went ballistic! I am still steaming from his disgusting attacks and this is one of the few times in my life that I would resort to physical violence if we were in the same room. I took care of my sick wife for two years while she slowly withered away and eventually died in my arms...and he brings her up just to hurt me and to somehow justify his hatred of me? He is a SICK FUCK and I told him just that. After a few more choice words I told him to go to hell and never contact me again.
I have never seen this dark side of my dad. He's hid it quite well and I guess the fact that I only saw him a few times each year while growing up has something to do with it. We have never been close but I did try to love him unconditionally despite his racist views and his politics. He obviously couldn't do the same for me. The way he's acting I have to wonder if he's had some kind of mental break. His health is failing and maybe he's just burning bridges before he croaks? I don't know and I really don't care about him anymore.
He didn't even have the balls to disown me in a phone call - all of this was on FB and email. He even tried to do it public ally on my page. He was desperate to show that I am somehow in the wrong about politics and will never ever admit that he's wrong and completely out of bounds and over the top with his despicable attacks on me. Especially trying to hurt me with my dead wife that PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKER!
I know that I am better off without him in my life, I just wish it didn't have to go down like this and I'll never understand how partisan politics could cause someone to behave in such a disgusting way.
So, let this be a cautionary tale. Some people can't handle the truth or even a disagreement so if you value your relationships with friends and family, don't push your luck over politics. If they are a wingnut they will hate you because that's all they have - unbridled irrational hate.