No Way To Prevent This, Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

PARKLAND, FL—In the hours following a violent rampage in Florida in which a lone attacker killed 17 individuals and seriously injured over a dozen others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said Indiana resident Harold Turner, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations.

https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1823016659

And know we have our obligatory Onion update. It says a lot about us that this happens so much a satirical site has a article ready to go and all they have to do is change the location.