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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsGOP Halftime Show
There is so much to delight (and distract) Iowas Republican voters. Perry promises to let women die rather than allowing them to terminate their pregnancies. I can just see the proud little faces of the dead womens orphaned kids.
(Big smile) Its ok. Mommas up in Heaven with Jesus and the angels, cause she wouldnt kill our little (brother/sister). Lil (brother/sister) is up there, too! Daddy, when do we get to go to Heaven so we can see them?
If Santorum has his way, the kids wont have to wait too long. President Santorum is gonna put his finger on the red button the minute he gets into office and bomb Iran to Kingdom Come. Since his target is Irans nuclear reactors, that means another Fukushima, this one located in the Persian Gulf. If the Royal Meteorological Society is to be believed, the prevailing winds will be from the southeast during the first month of Ricks presidency. That means that most of the radioactive waste will go northwest to Kuwait and Iraq, contaminating their oilfields. However, the Saudi Arabian oil fields are just a hundred-fifty miles away across the water to the west. Wonder what that will do to oil prices? Wonder how much money the Koch Brothers will make on oil speculation if they know in advance that the Bushehr reactor is going to go boom?
Dont want to see another war in the Persian Gulf? Gingrich is your man. His motto is make love not war---as long as the love he is making is not with his wife. The Newt has allowed the GOP to shed its stuffy, no sex allowed image. Yeehaw! Bring on the scantily dressed cheerleaders! On the other hand, Black men are still expected to keep it in their pants. Thats what you call traditional family values.
All the candidates agree that Medicare has to go. But Ron Paul is way out in front of the others with his desire to abolish Medicaid too. Medicaid is the state sponsored program that provides prenatal care to uninsured women and pediatric care (including immunizations) to uninsured children. Medicaid also helps pay nursing home bills. What will an America without Medicaid be like? More home deliveries, more kids with birth defects and diseases of prematurity like blindness, more measles, mumps, chickenpox, diphtheria, pertussis, meningitis and tetanus, more old folks found in their apartments three or four weeks after their death when neighbors notice the foul odor, more kids with cleft lips for other kids to laugh at----if you have always wanted a beggar on every street corner, you will love America under the rule of Ron Paul.
For those Iowa Republicans who prefer buxom to beefcake, Michelle Bachmann has all your S&M fantasies covered. A proponent of female submission you will never see her dressed up like this:
But if you are lucky, you might see her like this:
If only that annoying man from Massachusetts would get the hell off the playing field. Who wants someone so---so---bland and boring during halftime. Come on, Mittens! Birther is so 2008. If you want to wow the Republican voters, you need to come up with something more extreme. Remember how the crowd cheered Rick Perry for executing an innocent man in Texas? Maybe if you promised live, televised executions
glowing
(12,233 posts)I do so hope that it can be brought back for the 2012 election season.. I miss it soooo much... This is post is fabulous and a reminder of that wonderful weekly edition that is missed.
Proud Liberal Dem
(24,438 posts)for the much-needed laugh.
zappaman
(20,606 posts)Burgman
(330 posts)Nicely done and thanks for the chuckles.
LiberalAndProud
(12,799 posts)It may be just the miracle she's been waiting for. Wouldn't that be ironic?