To new horizons!

I am becoming the woman I need to be.

Move on with your life, you have shed weight on your psyche.

Have a good celebration! Wish you well in the future.

Peace and love.

Sounds like you’re on your way to a new and better future

You're free! You're free! Now go forth and find a man who is not inferior (as I call my ex, an inferior man).

Bur I do feel free.

congrats on the divorce. Sorry you had to endure what you did.

Too hard to get a divorce.

Seems to me.

Much better the second time around!

Thank you.

Enjoy the rest of your life.

I intend to do so.

Congratulations - enjoy your freedom.

Peace, always.

People think I'm weird for meeting men via dating sites and apps, but I can put my deal breakers out there. Being in Texas it's hard to find age appropriate men who aren't Republican or deeply religious. But I'm just wasting my time and theirs if I don't stick to my standards.

I know James Carville and Mary Matalin say that they just don't discuss politics, but I just don't see how you can be married to someone who has such a different world view. Maybe I'll just die alone.

That is how I feel. I can not and will not be in a relationship with a trump supporter,

No one is as alone as someone in a bad marriage.

Cultivate your friendships, the people in your life who bring you joy. The older you get, the more valuable they become.

I have reason to be gun shy.

Living in Amarillo. It's difficult trying to find any woman that isn't religious or conservative. So I can feel your pain.

Finding them takes patience.

Too many jump at the first opportunity they get and end up in divorce often wasting years of prime dating time.

Stick to your instincts. That said there is no perfect.

I did not meet my wife till I was almost 30. Lots of failed relationships before that but when I met her it all clicked into place. 20 years later it is still clicking. We certainly have had rough spots here and there but never more than raised voices and those are few and far between. We agree on most things and at this point often finish each others sentences. I might have finally gotten extremely lucky and lord knows it feels like it every day but it did not come quickly and I dated a lot of people before finding her.

I was married for 8 years and vowed to stay divorced for 8. I made it to 13.

Now I'm going on 18 years married to my best friend.

There is no hurry.

...better to be alone than in bad company. So... from one solteda to another..life is good! Paz

Just getting in the feel of it.

Last edited Mon Mar 19, 2018, 12:09 AM - Edit history (2)

a kid but it didn't happen often enough.

best thing I ever did. He's a big trumper, I know from my sons, who barely acknowlege him but stay in touch. Younger son hasn't spoken to him since the election. Can't believe I was married to it. My sons, thank goodness, are nothing like him.

This asshole played the part of apolitical to marry me and turned out to be everything I hate.

I am scared about the future but relieved in a big way.

Don't waste any of it.

People give off vital personality signals when they don't realize it. I can learn so much about people by having lunch with them and quietly observing how they treat the classes of people that they encounter. Do they suck up to the powerful or good looking and treat others not having those traits as below them? How the react when servers or the kitchen make mistakes or are a little slow? How they treat people that aren't of use to them, like homeless people we meet on the street.

As far as politics, if they are trying to mask by being apolitical, bring up politicians casually without making judgement and pay attention to how they react, facial expressions and body motion.

I have used all of the things above and they have worked for me.

I'm feeling better every minute.

I had one like yours, got shed of him long ago. Here's to you!

Enough said.

If I can, anyone can.

Peace, always.

Enjoy the Fox-free freedom!

Feeling awesome.

Breathe, and celebrate a new beginning!

husband wasn't sharing the child raising duties. I was raised to "bit your tongue" and work through it...I tried for a while. But in the end, I had to let it go as holding in everything wasn't good for me -- physiologically or emotionally. Without good health (physical and mental), I felt I wasn't being good mother for my kids, so I got the divorce. It was tough for my tow girls in the beginning, but we've worked through it for the last 9 years.

I really need that emotional support. Are you happy being divotced?

for the kids". I sometimes regret my kids don't have the traditional family with mom and dad living in the same house, but that wasn't feasible. I'm thankful they still have mom and dad in their lives as we share 50/50 custody.

Enjoy the rest of your life being who you want to be and hanging out with people who respect you.

Peace and luv!

Relish your new freedom, and savor every moment of not having to answer to anyone.

Yes. I will cherish it and love it.

Sweet freedom!!!!

Right on.

I am celebrating.

That was a lifetime ago. Best decision ever! You're free... Things will get better from here forward. Be strong. Don't be tempted to backtrack into familiar patterns when things seem difficult... Those tough times never last, tough people do!

Love you.

"I don't like being divorced. I'd rather be widowed."

Perhaps you're not that bitter, but all the best to you and your new life!

With your future. I divorced the conservative back in ‘92 (after only 3 yrs) and was single for 13 years before I took the plunge again and have been married since. My spouse is liberal like me and we can discuss topics and it’s so much easier. Celebrate, take a deep breath and discover which friends stick around. A new beginning can be scary but exciting all at once. Yay!

CONGRATS!!!!!!! NICE to see you here!!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME!

I wish you all the best...

Congratulations!

Did I mention happily?

Kath!:sofabump:

When I got my freedom I enjoyed making my own decisions the most. Chose the paint colors I liked, mowed my grass the way I wanted, even shoveling my own snow was a treat! Needless to say I was married to a control freak and it felt so liberating to be out from under that. When I met someone I was very reluctant to give that freedom up. To this day I don’t take suggestions very well.

Mine was finalized a couple of years ago, although we'd been separated for a couple of years before that. Oddly, I didn't feel happy or sad when I got the divorce decree from the court. It just felt like putting a period on the end of a sentence. I think that's when you know it's really, really over, there's nothing there anymore.

Anyway, congrats and cheers!

to respond the petition my soon-to-be-ex sent me.

And there's a couple there talking to a single lady there at the bar, and after the couple left her and I started talking across the bar ... turns out she's going through a divorce ATM too ... we ended up having a nice chat, commiserating and such.

And she didn't sound right wing at all, not like most around where I live ... she was dissing the local mormons and such ... so that was cool.

Anyways, her name ... was Kathy ... so that made stumbling on your post ... pretty damn trippy, esp. cause I JUST got back.

So ... anyways, really glad you're happier!

Truth told its just over 1 month and I miss my ex and our dogs like all friggin' get out. I mean understand it wasn't working and all but she's being really uncool, won't return texts, etc ... it's been a hell of a last month ... we'd been together as a couple for 11 years, married for a bit over 6, friends for 6 years before that. I'm in my 50's I'm not really inclined to start over and honestly I'm still more like a 30-something inside, truth told ... so, not sure I have a 'viable demographic' at this point in terms of a 'next one'.

Hardest of all, our dogs were with us almost all the last 10 years, and she just ... took 'em. One was already hers for 1 year before we moved in, but the other was 'ours' who we found running the streets when we were living together before marriage. She's claiming them both in the petition. Not sure what I'm going to do about that. I paid for all their food, vet bills, heartworm tests, etc, etc. She didn't really make any real money after the first year we were together (long story), so I've been supporting her and the dogs for 9 years ... it really sucks.

When you start splitting up property, you need to ask for the dog you want. An arbitrator will see you as being reasonable if you say, "She can have the dog she brought with her to the marriage and I'd like the other one." You'll presumably have other property to split and you'll be doing it the same way for the dog.

are missing you too. What if you dropped in to see them? Would that be possible? Because I would imagine that they are depressed that you are gone and need a pet.
Hugs.

Hard to see now but it will come. Hang in there.

Best of luck in your journey!

However, I got a card from my wife for my birthday with some sage advice. No such cards within 3000 miles of here, so she must have grabbed it the last time she was in the States, and hidden it from me until midnight last night. This is what was on it:

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My first hubby was a right winger and we divorced. Married a bleeding heart liberal man with the same politics. Been almost 29 years now. We are both equally appalled by today’s politics. It must have been so difficult to be married to an a-hole. Freedom in that case will be bliss.

from husband of 32 years. Under North Carolina law we have to be separated for a year before I can file for divorce. It's a damn long slog. My adult sons have taken his side (I left him.) The ex was just in a serious car accident last week and my son won't tell me where ex is hospitalized or extent of injuries. Have no idea what this means for getting house on the market and his plan to move to retirement community.

Despite all the shit, I'm happier alone than I've been in years. I don't care about dating or finding someone else at 67. I just want to enjoy life and not be expected to be someone's housekeeper and bookkeeper without being their partner. We were compatible politically, but he did not respect my opinion when it differed from his. Can't tell you how many times he wouldn't take my advice about something and would go ahead and do what I warned him not to with disastrous consequences. I think it's called irreconcilable differences and it does matter.

I am looking forward to the day when I can make the post that finally I am divorced, too.

Congratulations again.

Equally sorry you don't have the support of your son. That must be very sad for you. All the best as you travel down this road. I hope your destination will be one of peace and happiness.

North Carolina = slipping backwards as far as I'm concerned. That law needs to be overturned. However, since it isn't right now, the year will be over at some point in the near future and you will be OK.

I can relate to your story except for the part about my ex being on the same wavelength politically. If it makes you feel any better, I had 42 years invested. Maybe I'm a slow learner

You left after 42 years? It's hard giving up the shared history and memories. It wasn't all bad. But when you realize you're happiest when the spouse isn't around and wouldn't be unhappy if he never came home...well, the marriage is definitely over.

How long have you been on your own? Did you move? Stay in your place?

I was pretty much on my own while in the marriage. The shared history and memories are still in my head and heart. Of course it wasn't all bad. I officially left eight years ago and been divorced six years. For what it's worth, I actually have three friends, one I've lost touch with, but all who were married 40+ years who left their spouses. I moved and bought myself a new place. I can honestly say I have no regrets.

An anthropology professor once told me that people can definitely change their personality as time goes on. She said people can change dramatically so that you don't even recognize them as the person you married. A counselor told me that whatever issues a person has that they haven't dealt with are usually only exacerbated with age. I can tell you from experience that that is what happened to me. It took me a very long time to make the leap. I am the type of person who when I make a commitment to anything, I stick with it. I have not regretted my decision for one minute.

I'd been thinking about this seriously for about 7 or 8 years and finally was pushed over the threshold to make the decision.

My soon to be ex is a psychiatrist who would confirm that people become more like what they have always been as they age.
In the case of my ex, he became more narcissistic and less willing to consider my wants and needs. It was turning into
everything being about him. I just reached a point where I couldn't do it any more.

I have relocated to an apartment in the same region, but definitely wanted to get out of town. Didn't want to run into him.
Whether I'll stay here, continue to rent, move to another state (or even out of the country, which I'm considering), or buy something after the divorce is final and finances are sorted out, remains to be seen.

So far, I have not regretted my decision, either.

You can send me a private message if you'd like to chat more about this.

Do with it what you want!!!

Forget marrying them....

I bet you will always remember that day with glee. I know I still consider 7/3 my personal Freedom day when I rid myself of an abusive cheating ass.

Congratulations.

I can only extrapolate from my own experiences to understand how great that must feel.

Nothing feels better than getting rid of a toxic "partner".

I have to say I have been utterly shocked at how much *I* am being pursued as a newly single guy. It's like the universe rang the dinner bell on wanton fornication, and served me up on a platter =)

I just wish I had done it years ago!

Thank God almighty you're free at last!

in your area? Just an idea ...

Good luck to you.

Thank U!

and some good discussions! Let us know how it goes.

Frederick, MD. Near where I work.

Every Wednesday night.

Remember the good times and move forward to make more!

I'm stuck with those racist bastards.

Life's too short to spend it with a Trumpie!

Nope, ecstatically divorced!

Agreed with me on most things and paid no attention to politics at all.