Come and work at the White House ...

… we’ll have a blast!

Despite promises of cushy jobs, impressive titles, and the untold fame and fortune that attached to being part of the Trump pResidency, things haven’t exactly worked out well for a lot of the pResident’s “best people”. We can only imagine how sorry they are that they ever answered the call to come and work in what would quickly prove to be the most corrupt-ridden administration that ever disgraced our nation.

“Come and be my national security advisor, Flynn. It’s great pay, and I guarantee all that "lock her up!" stuff will never come back to bite you in the ass!”

“Come and be my Attorney General, Jeff. It’s an easy gig, and I’ll have your back at all times.”

“Come and be my senior advisor, Jared. You can use your position to hobnob with rich foreigners, and pressure them into investing in your sinking business. Who’s ever gonna know?”

“Come and be my advisor, Ivanka. The nation will be dazzled by how smart and politically-astute you are!”

“Be my right-hand guy at the White House, Donnie Junior. And don’t worry about any emails that might implicate you in colluding with the Russians – they’ll never get out!”

“Grab the kid – whatever his name is – and get down here, Melania. Just play the loving wife, and I’ll make sure you’re never publicly humiliated by any pussy-grabbing adulterer!”

“Stay on as my personal lawyer, Mikey. Imagine the prestige of being the personal lawyer of the most beloved POTUS in history! What could possibly go wrong?”

“Come and be my spokesman, Scaramucci. Cool job with great benefits – not to mention job security!”

“Come and work as my spokeswoman, Sarah. With your grace and charm, you’ll be the darling of the press in no time!”

“Come and be my chief of staff, General Kelly. I know we’ll always be on the same page, and I will rely on your sage advice without hesitation.”

Of course, there’s probably no one who regrets the call to come and work at the White House more than Donald Trump himself. Had he not heeded that call, he’d be sitting in his faux-gilt penthouse right now, overseeing his corrupt business empire under the radar – just as he has for decades – instead of ranting, raving, and shitting his pants at the possibility of ending up leaving the Oval Office in disgrace or in handcuffs.

Had he not been arrogant enough (and stupid enough) to think that being pOTUS meant he was above the law, he’d be hitting the cocktail-party circuit in NYC tonight – instead of desperately trying to find a lawyer who is willing to defend the indefensible.

Given the turmoil, the chaos, the damage that Trump has inflicted on the nation, I admit to taking no small comfort in the fact that he’s squirming like a cornered rat every minute of every day. I take joy in the idea that he will go down in history as Spanky McShithole – instead of Mister pResident. I delight in his panic-driven tweets, his visible flop-sweat, and his ignorant belief that he can simply wave his teeny-tiny hands and make every inconvenient fact that Mueller has uncovered simply disappear.

“Come and work at the White House – we’ll have a blast!” I have no sympathy for those who heeded that call, nor those whose own self-imposed ignorance led them to believe the snake offering the job wasn’t actually a snake.

As they say, live and learn – and for some, they’ll be learning the error of their ways while living what’s left of their lives in disgrace, bereft of credibility and respect, vilified by their fellow citizens – and/or behind bars.