Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

DetlefK

(16,423 posts)
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 09:02 AM Apr 2018

Worst. Movie. Pitch. Ever.

- "Okay, here's the pitch for the movie. So, there's this billionaire, Big T. He wants to become President."


- "Okay..."


- "Big T is a big-time real-estate investor who plays fast and loose with other people's money, who lies, who fucks models and Playboy-bunnies..."


- "Okay?"


- "And he's doing business with russian oligarchs. Russian Oligarchs. Now. During the election-season, russian internet trolls drum up smear-campaigns against his opponent and russian hackers publish embarrassing documents stolen from his opponent."


- "Wait. Manipulating a presidential election? What about the FBI and stuff?"


- "Oh, they have proof that those trolls and hackers not only work for russian business-friends of Big T but actually for the russian government itself! And the Senate Majority Leader threatens the President to keep all of this under wraps."


- "What?"


- "Anyways. He wins the election, becomes President and after the election investigators start rolling up the conspiracy. It's the President vs the Department of Justice."


- "Ohhhh! Now that part sounds good. Political drama. Corruption. Whistleblowers. High-stakes. Very nice."


- "So, the investigation into the President is heating up. The investigators get closer and closer and the President starts to lose his shit and lash out in public."


- "Yes..."


- "And then it surfaces that he fucked a pornstar while his third wife was pregnant with his fifth child."


- "... wait ..."


- "And now the pornstar sues the President's lawyer because she wants to be freed from the NDA and start talking about the affair..."


- "Hold on..."


- "And investigators find evidence that the President's lawyer committed several crimes and the FBI raids his house and offices."


- "What..."


- "And as the President's lawyer is on trial, it turns out that a big-time TV-personality who railed against this investigation for months and years is secretly also a client of the President's lawyer!"


- "Now you're getting..."


- "And then it turns out that the lawyer's family has been doing business with the russian mob for decades!"


- "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!"
25 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Worst. Movie. Pitch. Ever. (Original Post) DetlefK Apr 2018 OP
He also urges followers to carry guns and beat up people dalton99a Apr 2018 #1
Maybe a Netflix original... N_E_1 for Tennis Apr 2018 #2
Yeah! It needs to have at least a Season 1 lunatica Apr 2018 #16
House of Lard. nt canetoad Apr 2018 #22
Sounds like a really over-the-top PatSeg Apr 2018 #3
We need somebody with amnesia and somebody in a coma. DetlefK Apr 2018 #7
Too often to be just PatSeg Apr 2018 #8
You all do realize that the Trump administration just put the House of Cards out of business, right? Baitball Blogger Apr 2018 #4
You really can't make this shit up. smirkymonkey Apr 2018 #5
Next logical question would be Heartstrings Apr 2018 #6
William Shatner. nt tblue37 Apr 2018 #24
Worth consideration....nt Heartstrings Apr 2018 #25
And I thought "Dave" was a radically implausible fantasy... Wounded Bear Apr 2018 #9
You left out the Playmate after second wife's baby WhiteTara Apr 2018 #10
We add that in a flashback dream-sequence. DetlefK Apr 2018 #11
you owe me a new screen! WhiteTara Apr 2018 #14
As a seque cliffhanger to the next season! lunatica Apr 2018 #17
Porn stars? Russian mob? I'm in! Initech Apr 2018 #12
Out of respect to the audience, the movie will contain no racy scenes. DetlefK Apr 2018 #13
Yeah it's probably best if they leave the pee tape scene out! Initech Apr 2018 #15
WTF! lunatica Apr 2018 #18
You need to include his lazy habits, trips to golf, lack of knowledge (nuclear triad), bad eating BSdetect Apr 2018 #19
And his failed businesses. BSdetect Apr 2018 #20
I see a many prequels and sequels to this plot line.........nt Heartstrings Apr 2018 #21
Very good. K&R. nt tblue37 Apr 2018 #23

PatSeg

(47,430 posts)
3. Sounds like a really over-the-top
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 09:23 AM
Apr 2018

soap opera, where they keep throwing in outrageous and unbelievable scandals to hold the viewer's interest.

DetlefK

(16,423 posts)
7. We need somebody with amnesia and somebody in a coma.
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 09:59 AM
Apr 2018

Wait... How many times has Kushner amended his security-clearance form?

PatSeg

(47,430 posts)
8. Too often to be just
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 10:43 AM
Apr 2018

an oversight. These people don't even pretend to be reputable. Everything they do is so in-your-face and blatant. They are really terrible criminals.

I quit watching the show Scandal awhile back, because the story line got so absurd, but not nearly as outrageous as this administration apparently.

Baitball Blogger

(46,709 posts)
4. You all do realize that the Trump administration just put the House of Cards out of business, right?
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 09:29 AM
Apr 2018

Whatever they come up with to end that already troubled show will be mmmeh.

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
5. You really can't make this shit up.
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 09:35 AM
Apr 2018

Nobody would have thought it plausible unless it actually happened.

Heartstrings

(7,349 posts)
6. Next logical question would be
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 09:54 AM
Apr 2018

what actor plays "Big T"? And would this be a drama or comedy?

Unfortunately my first pick for drama James Gandolfini, is deceased...Tom Hardy could pull it off imo...

Comedy would have to go to Alec Baldwin.

Great pitch!

WhiteTara

(29,715 posts)
10. You left out the Playmate after second wife's baby
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 11:00 AM
Apr 2018

and his fourth child. Of course, there is the maid's baby but I don't really know where in the children line up that one falls.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
17. As a seque cliffhanger to the next season!
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 12:07 PM
Apr 2018

They gotta use every cliché and platitude possible or they’ll lose the true feel of it. No subtleties. They’d be wasted.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
18. WTF!
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 12:22 PM
Apr 2018

We don’t see the Big T character with bed head leering at something? How else do you expect to sell this pitch?

?w=62

BSdetect

(8,998 posts)
19. You need to include his lazy habits, trips to golf, lack of knowledge (nuclear triad), bad eating
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 12:38 PM
Apr 2018

habits, lack of exercise, inability to focus on intelligence briefings and so on.

Birtherism.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Worst. Movie. Pitch. Ever...