Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMike Pompeo Defects To North Korea After Learning About Kim Jong-Uns Torture Program
https://politics.theonion.com/mike-pompeo-defects-to-north-korea-after-learning-about-1825394733PYONGYANGDeclaring that he has finally, at long last, come home to a society that properly aligns with his values, former C.I.A. director and U.S. Secretary of State candidate Mike Pompeo officially defected to the totalitarian nation Thursday after learning about Kim Jong-uns torture program. Its amazingthe torture here is just miles and miles ahead of what they do in the U.S., said Pompeo, who credited the sheer scope, creativity, and attention to detail employed in North Koreas innovative torture techniques for inspiring his sudden defection. They dont mess around with that namby-pamby waterboarding stuff like we do back in the States. In North Korea, if they, I mean, if we suspect someone to be an enemy of the regime, theyre beaten half to death, thrown in a labor camp, forced to dig their own graves, then slowly crushed to death under the corpses of their families and friends. Hell, if Kim Jong-un says he doesnt like a bands music, the police strap the musicians across the muzzles of anti-aircraft cannons, fire off a volley, and drive tanks back and forth over the bloody gobbets. I have so much lost time to make up. At press time, the state-run Korean Central News Agency reported that Pompeo has adjusted quickly to his new life as a North Korean citizen and has already accused several of his neighbors of high treason.
InfoView thread info, including edit history
TrashPut this thread in your Trash Can (My DU » Trash Can)
BookmarkAdd this thread to your Bookmarks (My DU » Bookmarks)
3 replies, 637 views
ShareGet links to this post and/or share on social media
AlertAlert this post for a rule violation
PowersThere are no powers you can use on this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
ReplyReply to this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
Rec (6)
ReplyReply to this post
3 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Mike Pompeo Defects To North Korea After Learning About Kim Jong-Uns Torture Program (Original Post)
geardaddy
Apr 2018
OP
dalton99a
(81,515 posts)1. He fits right in
KG
(28,751 posts)2. can he take that harpy Gina Haspel w/ him?
Eugene
(61,900 posts)3. Gotta love The Onion.
If only this was true...