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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsRose McGowan Pens Defense of Asia Argento After Anthony Bourdain's Suicide
Rose McGowan penned an open letter on behalf of Asia Argento following the death of Argento's boyfriend Anthony Bourdain, who died by suicide on June 8th. As McGowan writes, Argento has unfairly faced blame in the aftermath of Bourdain's death.
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Read McGowan's entire open letter below:
Dear Fellow Humans,
Sitting across from me is the remarkable human and brave survivor, Asia Argento, who has been through more than most could stand, and yet stand she does. She stood up to her monster rapist and now she has to stand up to yet another monster, suicide. The suicide of her beloved lover and ally, Anthony Bourdain. I write these truths because I have been asked to. I know so many around the world thought of Anthony Bourdain as a friend and when a friend dies, it hurts. Many of these people who lost their friend' are wanting to lash out and blame. You must not sink to that level. Suicide is a horrible choice, but it is that person's choice.
When Anthony met Asia, it was instant chemistry. They laughed, they loved and he was her rock during the hardships of this last year. Anthony was open with his demons, he even wrote a book about them. In the beginning of their relationship, Anthony told a mutual friend, He's never met anyone who wanted to die more than him. And through a lot of this last year, Asia did want the pain to stop. But here's the thing, over their time together, thankfully, she did the work to get help, so she could stay alive and live another day for her and her children. Anthony's depression didn't let him, he put down his armor, and that was very much his choice. His decision, not hers. His depression won. Anthony and Asia had a free relationship, they loved without borders of traditional relationships, and they established the parameters of their relationship early on. Asia is a free bird, and so was Anthony. Was. Such a terrible word to write. I've heard from many that the past two years they were together were some of his happiest and that should give us all solace.
Anthony was 61, the same age my father was when he died. My father also suffered from intermittent deep depression, and like Anthony, was part of a pull up your bootstraps and march on generation. The a strong man doesn't ask for help generation. I know before Anthony died he reached out for help, and yet he did not take the doctor's advice. And that has led us here, to this tragedy, to this loss, to this world of hurt. Do NOT do the sexist thing and burn a woman on the pyre of misplaced blame. Anthony's internal war was his war, but now she's been left on the battlefield to take the bullets. It is in no way fair or acceptable to blame her or anyone else, not even Anthony. We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood. Sometimes we are stuck in the unknowable, and that is where we are now, a massive wave of darkness that threatens to swallow everyone in its wake.
As I watch Asia do her job on set today, I see a pillar of strength who continues to work to put food on her children's table. I see Elizabeth Taylor carrying on filming Cat on a Hot Tin Roof despite her love, her husband, dying in a plane crash. I see all of us who have carried on. Please join me in sending healing energy to Anthony on his journey, and to all who've been left behind to journey on without him. There is no one to blame but the stigma of loneliness, the stigma of asking for help, the stigma of mental illness, the stigma of being famous and hurting.
We must do more and be better. Anthony, our friend, would want it that way.
-more-
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/rose-mcgowan-pens-open-letter-after-anthony-bourdains-suicide-w521378?utm_source=rsnewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=daily&utm_campaign=061118_11
hlthe2b
(102,379 posts)tragedies. But, in truth, none of us can know exactly what was in his thoughts and ultimate decision to take his life.
I'd likewise like us to stop blaming the suicide victim TOO. No one can know the admixture of brain chemicals and dark thoughts that were afflicting Bourdain in his last months, weeks, days and hours. I only hope that he finds the peace he sought.
Dorian Gray
(13,501 posts)In our quest to understand what happened, some of us find it easiest to assign blame to someone who "wronged" Bourdain. But, his brain chemistry and depression did most of the dirty work. Sad for his fans. But it's not an easy answer for some. People want to speculate that she broke his heart. (And even if she did date someone else, that shouldn't provoke him to an act of suicide.)
Rose makes me uncomfortable at times, mostly because she says what she feels and wears her heart on her sleeve. Warts and all. But here she is right. Defending her friend and showing much sympathy and empathy for the pain that Bourdain suffered. Good for her for speaking up.
JI7
(89,276 posts)kcr
(15,320 posts)It's just gross. Yeah, oh so helpful to remind the world that it's not her fault her boyfriend committed suicide, as it if were a legitimate question. Maybe they're friends, but if it were me I wouldn't stay friends with her after that.
Shes a narcissist, and about three fries short of a Happy Meal on a good day.
Im not sure why she felt compelled to write this. Ive watched the Bourdain fallout closely on social media and I havent seen a groundswell of people blaming his girlfriend. At all. Which brings us back to your point about making it all about Rose.
LisaM
(27,839 posts)Something's a little off with her, IMO.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Seems to need attention. She tweeted right after his death too, didnt she?
BigmanPigman
(51,632 posts)cover of her possible guilty behavior which could have pushed Tony over the edge. Rose needs help herself.
eissa
(4,238 posts)Birds of a feather. This is the equivalent of trump constantly screaming "no collusion!" Girl, this ain't about you.
betsuni
(25,645 posts)drive off the cliff into the Caribbean. Every night. For some reason I thought he was exaggerating, didn't notice he seriously suffered from depression. But it's right there. Ridiculous to blame anyone else for his death. It was only a matter of time until death seduced him.
BannonsLiver
(16,470 posts)Where are the masses of people blaming her for his suicide.
betsuni
(25,645 posts)BannonsLiver
(16,470 posts)Which is why her essay is an opinion in search of a problem, among other things.
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)"opinion in search of a problem..."
Or merely an opinion in answer to critics.
I s'pose all our guesses in regards to motive are worth their weight in rational thought... but they do let us stroke our biases with much more righteousness.
BannonsLiver
(16,470 posts)It was an opinion on search of a problem written by a raging narcissist who attempted to make Bourdains death all about her.
JI7
(89,276 posts)Which she ended up deleting after news of the suicide.
And what many see as her using him .
But he did have serious mental health issues which if treated might have avoided such an extreme response.
PoliticAverse
(26,366 posts)I know I'm reading bullshit.
Rest in peace Anthony Bourdain.
eissa
(4,238 posts)madaboutharry
(40,224 posts)She writes: " I write these truths because I have been asked to."
Who asked her to write it? Why would Asia Argento ask her to write this letter?
It seems like the kind of thing that would embarrass a person, the person who has died.
I have empathy for Rose McGowan and all the women that Harvey Weinstein hurt. He was a monster.
But this letter seems misplaced and even unnecessary. Responding to trolls is a waste of time, surely Rose McGowan knows this.
JI7
(89,276 posts)Tweet to bourdain just before he committed suicide.
After he died she wrote something about how important he was to her and people responded back with what she did and what many believe was her always using him for her own career.
choie
(4,111 posts)but how do you know it was aimed at Anthony Bourdain?
JI7
(89,276 posts)And her deleting it after news of the suicide.
choie
(4,111 posts)to Sid Vicious?
Exotica
(1,461 posts)betsuni
(25,645 posts)Would more likely be directed at the press for making a big deal out of her walking around with a man in public. Oh no, she hugged a man. Or whatever else was going on in her life. She does have a life outside of being Tony's girlfriend. That's what I think.
Trek4Truth
(515 posts)eissa
(4,238 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)I hadnt heard about this.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)A FU tweet would have come after an argument. That doesn't mean she's at fault for his suicide. Bipolar disorder runs in my family, and people I love very much have it. We argue with each other sometimes, just like other people who are close to each other sometimes do. Is it your expectation that no one ever argue with anyone who is mentally ill? Because I love the people in my family who have bipolar disorder, but it does sometimes make them difficult to get along with. I do not have bipolar disorder, but I don't doubt I'm also sometimes difficult to get along with. We are likely to continue to sometimes argue.
If she was with another man, and he was with another woman or other women, then that isn't a reasonable thing to get after her about either.
JI7
(89,276 posts)gollygee
(22,336 posts)I'd only have to have one person blame me before I felt really horrible. It wouldn't take a lot of people. If McGowan is her friend, she might have offered, and she might have said yes, thank you.
JI7
(89,276 posts)Or anything having to do with him.
So i see it as mostly selish look at me shit from both of them.
Dorian Gray
(13,501 posts)Seriously. I'm curious.
Trek4Truth
(515 posts)making sure "my image" was up kept in social media.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)Maybe she got into an argument with him and posted the FU tweet, then heard he died and felt horrible (as would be natural) about the FU tweet and took it down. I don't see how that is necessarily about image. It might be about being desperately sad about something you said because you learned the person you said it to died.
Trek4Truth
(515 posts)"blamed" -- even if she did that to hurt him...she did not kill him. So I'm trying to not have any real opinion on it...it also helps that I've been banned from twitter and I'm not seeing anything either!!!
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)Yeah, I'd say that might push someone off the edge, if they were on the edge already. No wonder she's receiving some hate mail.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)that playing loose with someone's affections is a cruel thing to do and may have serious consequences. It's usually men who do this, from my observations in life. One fails to realize the pain that a perceived unfaithfulness or dishonesty about feelings can cause, esp. when you know up front that the person who loves you has depression issues.
I don't know if that's what happened, or if they really had a "free" relationship. Or even if that's what got to him this time. Maybe it was something else.
But I don't think a letter like this was called for at this time. I guess the Asia woman had rec'd some criticisms. But I would have given it more time. Maybe a personal interview later.
I am still sad about the loss of Anthony Bourdain and still wonder how he could be that depressed, when he had so much. Maybe he found that he couldn't give up drugs, after trying for years. (I didn't know he did drugs. Amazing how he could have become so successful, traveling around the world, working all those hours, and do drugs at the same time.)
TexasBushwhacker
(20,219 posts)When he was in his teens and 20s. He gave them up long before he became successful. He said he still drinks alcohol but not every day. He even gave up smoking when his daughter was born.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)and maybe had fallen off the wagon. There he is, traveling, alone a lot of the time...that would be hard on anyone, much less someone with drug or alcohol issues.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,219 posts)Those take weeks, but they will show what drugs were in his system as well as his blood alcohol at the time of death.