The Onion mercilessly trolls Michael "Don Quixote" Cohen
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Cowardly Michael Cohen Chooses To Betray President, Go To Prison Rather Than Meet Face-To-Face With The Onion
https://trib.al/eldHASL
Did you really believe you could get rid of us by blocking our organization on Twitter? Did you assume that four walls and a few prison guards could stop us from getting to you?
11:38 AM - 14 Jun 2018
Let it be known, the second you are no longer under the protection of the special counsel, we will be there waiting.
11:41 AM - 14 Jun 2018
There is no place to run, no place to hide. WE ARE LEGION, FOR WE ARE MANY.
11:45 AM - 14 Jun 2018
Cowardly Michael Cohen Chooses To Betray President, Go To Prison Rather Than Meet Face-To-Face With The Onion
https://www.theonion.com/cowardly-michael-cohen-chooses-to-betray-president-go-1826837494
The Onion holds the virtues of integrity, courage, and accountability above all others, and after more than two centuries of ethical primacy in journalism, Americas Finest News Source has been rewarded with a company culture renowned for its moral rectitude.
Our editorial board was shocked to learn yesterday that Michael Cohen, a man once deemed worthy of a business partnership with our illustrious publication, had cravenly chosen to betray the president of the United States and go to prison rather than meet face-to-face with The Onion. We have requested multiple times for Mr. Cohen to follow up with his cease-and-desist letter.
Regrettably, Mr. Cohen has shown his true colors and would sooner forsake his employer for the last 20 yearsthe commander in chief who has nobly dedicated his life as a public servant to the American peoplerather than brave the consequences of a sit-down interview with our esteemed journalists.
Mr. Cohen, the editorial board understands that our dogged pursuit of truth can be intimidatingin fact, we do not deny that our interrogation process would likely destroy you both mentally and physicallybut this is no way for a man to act.