almost same experience for me at 15... will never forget

I feel the same sickness in my stomach as I did then, recalling one incident in another post about the Kavanaugh accuser just now.

I've been assaulted by three different men, two adult men in separate incidents as a child and one boy my age as a near-teenager.

It's not something I'll ever forget.

It all comes back including the feeling in the physical and emotional body.

I am furious right now and feel like we are all being assaulted all over again.

This has to be stopped and we need both women and men in the Senate and across the country to say "No Fucking Way is Kavanaugh or anybody accused of sexual assault going to have a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court"

My senator will not support him, but a call to emphasize what we learned today is on my list. This must change things so republicans will at least put forward men who have not attacked a woman.

It haunts us even when we think everything is OK. A word, a gesture, a scent can bring it all crashing back down on us.

myself. This just cannot stand.

with this.

and the description today stirs up the anger I still have.

a man is also unlikely to forget being the victim of a sexual assault.

And perhaps more likely to stfu.

but today is about a man who did something horrendous and republicans want it to pass as nothing. If he was accused of assault against a boy or man, I would feel the same. It is about power and entitlement.

Last edited Sun Sep 16, 2018, 05:56 PM - Edit history (1)

I wasn't raped... I was sexually assaulted. It was humiliating and 45 years later it still haunts me.

It was so humiliating though I forgot his name. The next day I told everyone what he had done to me. Everyone in our group was pissed at him. The friend who had brought the rapist on the group weekend get away stopped associating with him and would apologize to me every time he saw me.

No, you never forget. I even remember the time I outsmarted a would be rapist and got away.
The me too movement from last year dredged up memories I suppressed as a young woman.

we can't let this pass as if it is just "child's play."

My life was forever changed by someone who faced no consequences, ever.

like it was normal - to the point of being "qualified" to become a lifetime judge. They do not get it.

Clarence Thomas
Don the Con

Even if you are able to get psychological help, and if time helps you heal, there are those years when you don't feel like yourself, when you feel jaded, or that you can't trust anyone, or that time during which you never feel safe, or take innocent comments the wrong way. Relationships fall apart, work and career can suffer. Rape steals time and money from its victims, among other things.

a most difficult thing to integrate because it will never make sense when there is no penalty for the attacker. Theft of trust.

Nor should they, can they. Violence sticks to you for a lifetime. A rape or attempted rape is an act of violence. Two men holding you down, one covering your mouth? The intention was absolutely clear, regardless of the age.

How could anyone forget that?

I repressed the memory for years and years and it only came back to me a couple of years ago when I was thinking about my granddaughter going off to college. She is so pretty and I thought she might be at risk. Then the memory of my own experience came back. I have not told my grown children about this, just my husband and one very good friend who had been molested when he was a boy of 10.

rape awareness is now something they are aware off and warned against and I am feeling better about their being out there in college. Men are aware, too, and that is a good thing.

sigh...

did to me or the three men who tried to rape me and what unspeakable acts my adoptive father forced me to do to him for three years. I thank the universe I do not renember exactly what was done to me from the time not to long after I was born and to three and a half. Despite the amount of therapy I went through to learn how to live with it I have nightmares still occasionally. The last one happened when I was 22 and I am now almost 51. No such damn thing as "that was a long time ago!!"

Sometimes it never heals.

that changes things.

Permanently altered.

A man never forgets what was done to him either. I have male friends who had things done to them by both me and women also. It just seems no one mentions them very often.

it has taken women eons to come out with their stories and be believed. Males will do so more in the future I hope. Everyone who assaults, rapes, and sexually attacks another person should be held accountable.

every woman I have met in my life has had such a story to tell. Uncle, brother, grandfather, etc.

Why was my father french kissing his five year old son on the couch before church?
Wanna have some fun?

So many of us have heard the same. I say:

It dies with me! I would never fuck someone up for life!

Home stretch!

I have a list of #MeToo's

You don't forget any of them.

I was assaulted before I could be raped. I ran for the bathroom, climbed out a window and had to climb down a rose trellis from a second floor. I walked several miles home late at night. I only ever told one person about it...he told me that nothing good ever happens after midnight and that’ll teach me for being in a man’s apartment...what did I think was going to happen? I was so ashamed.

that just compounds the issues to live with. Blaming the victim has to stop. I sincerely hope you have been able to rid yourself of the self blame.

must stop. It wasn’t my fault. I know that now. This thread is taking my breath away. So many of us have been through this. Thanks.

not even when you lock it down in the deepest dungeon cell in your mind. It is always there...just waiting to come up on the shovel.

never

The MeToo movement has done wonders to help create an environment where victims are believed so we can finally begin to get a greater scope of the problem of sexual violence and harassment.

men who have been assaulted like this will feel more free to talk too.

No. We cannot ever forget.

ever.

And every GOP congressperson or senator who supports him won't be forgotten at the polls.

the R's are protecting a nest of predators such as trump. This cannot be tolerated.

Anybody?

Didn't think so...

Gotta stop letting their attempts at shaming stop people from coming forward and speaking up. If everybody steps up there's no way they can continue to silence those who do.

just high school pranks, so long ago - just does not wash now.

However, I'd say we've all been emotionally assaulted.

In my case, the guy ended up being sorry because I caught him off guard as he was trying to overcome me, and I shoved him with all the strength my 95 pounds could muster. I was furious, and there must have been a lot of adrenaline. He cracked his head against the iron railroad pilings, which gave me time to climb up the embankment and get away. Back in the 60s, we kept our mouths shut about experiences like that, knowing we would be blamed. It wasn’t till the #MeToo movement happened that I allowed myself to wonder if he succeeded with anyone else. Now I feel guilty for staying quiet.

it wouldn't have made a difference to speak up, except there would have been an army to shame you. The usual, what did you do to cause it. That is not gone yet but on its way out.

I failed to imagine the possibility of an assault when a fellow human being invited me to enjoy a break between classes on a beautiful spring day, even when he led me down a railroad embankment.

and replaces it with the sense that we can do incredible things but are still just prey to some. And they can take control of our bodies and then shame US while they continue to build their power on even more control. They truly believe we are theirs to act upon and use as means to an end.

That never leaves you.

Kick...

I have never forgotten, and never will.

Him: "Haha...it's like I raped you."

Me: "You did."

Him: "Get over it! You know you wanted it." (BTW...I was told HERE, at DU, I wasn't really raped because I was gay and as her grandma used to say, "You can't rape the willing!" )

anyone can be a victim of such an assault. Society and the powers that be have sided with the abuser and that must stop. Men are usually the criminals in these cases and we need to figure a way to stop that sense of entitlement. The Kavanaugh case will show how far we have gotten - or not.

never

kp

Our next door neighbor was raped when she was about 20. She and her husband are among our best friends, and have been for the close to 20 years they have lived next to us. Just in the last year has she finally been comfortable enough to be alone in a house (ours or theirs) with me. She will not tolerate it with any other man. She was raped was over 30 years ago. For her, it might as well have been yesterday.

leaves the victims with the task of putting herself/himself back together. I'm glad she is comfortable with you. She is moving forward. It takes a long time and the idea that this happened long ago to dismiss it, reveals ignorance. I can't believe the repub senators today. They are already using the old playbook to try to destroy the woman.

"Hey, it worked with Anita Hill." It wouldn't surprise me to hear that Clarence Thomas has been giving oral off-the-record tips to Hatch, McConnell and Grassley.

and never being able to count them all (I was a child and probably could not have counted that high anyway, but it was a way to mentally escape )

I do remember they were a gross dirty beige color..with water stains on them