No public school boy ever rapes. No public school girl ever gets raped.

I said it didn't happen in my own case. I explained why. I said I thought that coed public school is better, not that it is perfect.

that where you go to school has much to do with it, in any case. Rapists are going to rape, regardless of where they went to school. Some public school guys do it, some prep school guys don't.

to learn respect for both sexes. That was my point, and my only point.

often give their students a better education because the girls aren't disadvantaged, particularly in math and science classes, by teachers' favoritism toward the male students.

On the other hand, the co-valedictorian in my class of 1963 was a girl, who regularly kicked my ass in science and math. She ended up being a cardiac surgeon, and I ended up being a freelance writer who was always on the verge of being broke.

Maybe it was just the school I attended. I don't know, but there wasn't much academic discrimination based on sex in it.

Too often we take umbrage at the thought that someone doesn't like the words we wrote to a post. It's hard to disassociate the responses from a personal attack.

You do very well and I'll try to learn from you (and others.)

makes a difference, too. I went to a large high school. I would say I didn't know the names of 90% of the 2,000 students there, and they came from a number of elementary and middle schools, so we didn't even meet until high school. I think it would be different knowing everyone from an early age and growing up together.

Can you point it out in the OP?

Kindly illustrate where Mineral Man made the claims you've written.

Nobody ever tried to rape me, but clumsy, obnoxious pawing definitely did happen. It was even more common at college parties (I went to a private liberal arts college but it was not an upper-crust ivy-league elite one). Not all boys tried to grope girls after drinking too much, but some did, and we soon noticed who they were and tried to avoid them. However, I don't think that sort of behavior has as much to do with public vs. private schools as much as how an individual is brought up. Nobody has ever suggested that elite private school graduates like John Kerry and Bob Mueller ever tried to rape random girls at drunken parties.

and have plenty of opportunities to learn from each other. That's what I think, anyhow, so I posted that. I could be wrong. I might be right, though.

I also went to public school with girls and boys. Yes, I think a boy developes more respect for girls in that situation. In fact for awhile in grade school the girls are usually taller and smarter than the boys. Also, in my situation the girls were more aggressive when it came to relationships. My first girl friends asked me out!

Assaulting girls as a sport. I remember being in Summer camp in 8th grade and a boy attempting an assault on a female camper. A couple of us stopped it, but that immediately made us part of the 'uncool' crowd. That same boy bragged of getting girls drunk, tasing them, and assaulting them... Stories? Truth? Either way, the conspiracy of silence that shrouds teens buried all of this. I have never spoken of this, because as a relatively sheltered small-town kid I had never experienced it. We broke it up, but this kid was an 'alpha' monster.

There is a rape culture. It existed and probably still does.

possibly more so than co-ed versus single sex schools.

However, I totally agree with your memories and attitude about consent and dating a friend. I could never enjoy sex with someone who wasn't also into it - the thought is repulsive.

and the part about not being able to enjoy sex without shared enthusiasm. I couldn't, I know.

Not to be pointing my fingers at my own gender, but POWER over others seems to be a common trait.

Affluenza is usually caught by those poor children that are the spawn of people that have too much MONEY and POWER.

We learn from our environments, much as we may despise them as young adults. We learn by watching our parents and others rape the environment, take advantage of those without power. We learn that $$$s does get pretty things.

I can't remember my lessons, but I think that some of the greatest teachers have been those that have given up the possible trappings of power to embrace humanity.

Can't see any repuglicon or current SCOTUS nominee embracing humanity.

privilege and power and lack of humility or the ability to sympathize/empathize with others, all wrapped in a safe jacket of wealth.

With a smidgen of arrogant surprise when someone they've hurt seeks redress.

My first serious boyfriend was the same.

I think our environment (parents, upbringing) has a lot to do w/ how we treat people (male, female, etc.) and this lasts throughout life. Treat one as you would want to be treated. No religion. Good common sense on how to treat your fellow human being. Plain and simple.

Take care.

it was a mostly white working class/blue collar town at the time and I graduated HS in the mid 80s. Out of around 400 kids total in the high school, I doubt more than a dozen kids were non white. So, about 100 kids per class, and somewhere around 50/50 boys to girls. (The town still has the white blue/collar working class element, but nowadays is a lot more diverse both racially and economically - just checking the numbers from the State Dept of Ed website, the high school now has somewhere closer to 550 kids and maybe 125/130 are not white and a white collar/middle class/upper middle class element as well)

1) When I was in middle school (Grade 6-8), a bunch of friends in town on a Catholic Youth basketball team (not associated with the school, but a lot of the basketball jocks were on both teams) lost a New England tournament championship game because they were hung over from too much drinking the night before the game.

2) While not as violent as holding girls down and covering their mouths, coerced sex was pretty common at high school parties. I was too shy and not cool enough to be invited to these parties, but I've heard the stories from enough reliable kids (boys & girls) that I'm certain the stories were true. I believe at least one girl did file a police report years later because it made the local newspaper, but I have no idea the resolution and I've mostly lost touch with all but a couple of kids from my high school except for the occasional "Happy Birthday" on Facebook.

3) Several years after graduating at a class reunion planning meeting, I found out that a girl I had graduated with had been pregnant when she marched for graduation. She then said that high school administrators at the time gave her trouble for being visibly pregnant, until her mom brought up the fact that she was a nurse at a local hospital and least 9 girls from my class came in and had had abortions. That stunned me at the time - 10 pregnancies out of somewhere around 50 girls in the class.

So, there is no way in my mind that this is something unique to expensive prep school kids - this is a problem across all income levels, I think.

I'm glad I'm not still being judged by who I was at 17. Alternately, some dumb crap I did do followed me for a decade. Ultimately, it fell off of everyone's radar. But I'm not trying to get on the SC. Furthermore, if Kavanaugh's statement had been "I don't remember it the way Ms. Ford does but I also don't want to excuse everything I did as a 17 year old, especially when drinking. I've learned alot over the decades and I hope to bring those lessons to the court", he'd have a better case. Instead we get the whole "she's a liar" defense for someone who has decades of documentation for the incident. I don't expect choir boys, I expect learned men and women.