General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI'm not going to stop being angry about Brett K and here is why:
1. My mother (now dead) was a rape survivor.
2. My sister is a rape survivor.
3. I was ALMOST raped on two separate occasions.
4. My best friend has been raped more than once.
IN ALL BUT ONE OF THESE CASES IT WAS BY PEOPLE WE TRUSTED!
If you think you don't know any rape victims it is only because women have not yet trusted you with their stories. The rapists are your fathers, brothers, and sons.
Do not tell me it is not MY (fill-in-the-blank). It most likely is, because RAPE HAS BEEN NORMALIZED. Please wrap your head around that. It is not a guy jumping out of the shadows (most of the time). It is "guys just being guys."
Don't tell me to put "pragmatism before emotion." We are half the human race and we are not going to sit silently by while rapists get rewarded and women have to grin and put up with it.
I will NOT vote for ANYONE who promotes rape culture. Never. Not for any reason.
On edit: corrected for clarity. I am angry and typed some stuff out wrong.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,678 posts)Coventina
(27,159 posts)Thank you.
DemocracyMouse
(2,275 posts)...that any time Kavanaugh is referenced formally in the media, we refer to him as:
"Supreme Court Justice and alleged serial sexual abuser, Brett Kavanaugh."
(Until there is a proper investigation and all the people who came forward are interviewed and Kavanaugh takes a lie detector test).
niyad
(113,510 posts)of the written proof --the commentaries in his yearbooks.
DemocracyMouse
(2,275 posts)dangerous alcoholic
lostnfound
(16,189 posts)She survived but I dont know how. To top it off, they stole her irreplaceable diaries.
for her
volstork
(5,403 posts)"We are half the human race and we are not going to sit silently by while rapists get rewarded and women have to grin and put up with it."
I'm so sick of this shit, and of how clueless men who are NOT rapists or violent are about rape culture.
Coventina
(27,159 posts)SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)llmart
(15,548 posts)Not just rape, but attempted rape also. Tie that sucker around Brett's neck every chance we get.
Also, I believe women are more than half the human race in the U.S.
Coventina
(27,159 posts)They are still a rapist.
OhNo-Really
(3,985 posts)Haggis for Breakfast
(6,831 posts)to muffle her screams, tells me everything I need to know about him.
Then AND now.
PJMcK
(22,040 posts)Thanks for speaking truth, Coventina.
There's far too much sexual denial in our perverted society.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)Stop broad brushing all men!
Rape is a terrible thing to have happen to you but all men and most men are not rapists!
No one has told me they have been raped. I may know someone who has been raped but they have not told me about it.
Coventina
(27,159 posts)hughee99
(16,113 posts)Men stop raping and enabling rapists.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)you speak facts.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)Being truthful is not dramatic
Coventina
(27,159 posts)Everything life experience has taught me is that men I never would have imagined being a rapist will attempt rape if they think they can get away with it.
Haggis for Breakfast
(6,831 posts)So take what we think - one woman in three - and roll that around for a while.
Tumbulu
(6,292 posts)since at least one in three women has been raped, you may not be the sort of person people feel comfortable confiding in.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)72 years.
I am still Facebook friends with my first girl friend and my ex wife. Both are friends with my current wife.
And the majority of them were women picking me not the other way around. That includes my wife of 42 years.
I doubt you would be truthful since you are happy making false assumptions.
How do you expect people to take you seriously when you do that. You dont know people.
You hurt the cause.
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)And this I think, is precisely why the concern is ongoing.
As a male, I can only wish I read broad-brushing into the OP as you did. It would be damned convenient... both ethically and mentally.
But I'm compelled to read the underlying sentiment behind it, rather than maintain some imagined slight against my gender my own bias forces me to perceive.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)Pacifist Patriot
(24,653 posts)I gather there is a reason no woman has confided in you. What a tone deaf response this was. Shame on you.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)assumptions about people because they don't join in on the group think.
It is a stupid bullying thing to do.
Shame on you
Pacifist Patriot
(24,653 posts)Your interpretation was wrong and reaction insensitive. If the truth bothers you, perhaps you should contemplate why.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)There are a lot of these kind of OPs on DU.
Most times it conserns racism.
Real victims (I am not discounting the victimhood of the OP) post very overly dramatic words and then everyone joins in the praise of the OP and poster.
All the while the OP in not very factual but it is not meant to be.
It is more for the good vibes the posters get by joining in what I call a group think.
Now if someone like me doesnt go along with the good vibes thing we are pointed out to be the very ogher the OP is about.
That makes that person pointing out a bully because they are trying to shame the person like me into conforming which we will never do because we dont run with the herd.
Take time to try and understand what I am saying.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Real victims (I am not discounting the victimhood of the OP) post very overly dramatic words and then everyone joins in the praise of the OP and poster.
REAL victims?
Overly dramatic?
Everyone praises them?
Do you even hear yourself? You sound like youre overly concerned with getting attention by complaining that everyone is paying attention to someone whos not you.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Coventina
(27,159 posts)I meant every word I said.
Every word is true, I am not lying about my family's experiences with rape.
I am not spewing emotion to get {{{hugs}}}. I am expressing my fury that rapists are STILL REWARDED for their behavior.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)since you refuse to say that you are untruthful.
You are telling half the story. True many women and girls are raped by men. Not true all men are rapists or potential rapists.
The vast majority of us hate rape as much as you do. We have mothers wives, sisters and daughters who we love and never want them to be hurt. We would never hurt the mothers, wives, sisters and daughters of others.
Until you acknowledge that you are untruthful
Coventina
(27,159 posts)Why are 1 in 3 women being raped, if so few men are rapists?
It's not the same five guys running around the country!
Until you acknowledge that YOU are untruthful!
raccoon
(31,112 posts)You about it.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)Dark n Stormy Knight
(9,771 posts)But, the OP was speaking in general factual terms. Men who rape *are* fathers, sons, and brothers. Try to imagine how it feels to be a woman who has been raped and knows many other women who have also been raped, assaulted, or preyed upon. Try to understand how much more they've been hurt by men than you have by someone stating those facts. Try to have some compassion.
Also, know that I won't be reading any reply from you, because it's pretty clear your own sense of victimhood supersedes any sense of compassion you might be capable of.
Pacifist Patriot
(24,653 posts)Calling him out on it is bullying, so I think you hit the nail on the head with that one.
demigoddess
(6,644 posts)maybe husbands, but not others. Almost every woman I have talked to since junior high school, has told me their story. So many that I do not enjoy making new friends. I became a loner. I have my own couple of stories. Once as a toddler and later as a married woman, with a medical professional. He didn't succeed because I protected myself by reading his MO. almost all men have a hard time believing this. They think it is only with sluts, not your sisters, mothers, daughters, nieces. BUT IT IS!!! You just don't like to see it.
Bernardo de La Paz
(49,027 posts)Without the emotions it is more effective. You can be just as angry and more determined. Easier said than done, but at the least it leads to fewer typos!
Carry on. You are fighting the good fight. Sisters persist and lead the brothers.
Cigar11
(549 posts)A) Its a miracle that you or someone you care about is still alive to tell the story.
B) With that many First & Secondhand contacts with Rape ... I'd invest in a firearm, and rely less on continued Luck.
Until several years ago, I was the type of Progressive Liberal who would never think of owning a Gun. Today; I never leave the house with my Legal CCW. For me, it all started when I witnessed, not (1) one, but (2) two Unarmed Human Beings publicly executed in broad daylight, by Law enforcement officers.
We live in a different World now, and no about of Voting is going to change a mindset that believes they are above the LAW. When I need a second opinion, I will make sure it's backed-up with a 147 grain 9mm impact.
Coventina
(27,159 posts)So, according to the attacks listed in my OP:
1. My mother would have killed her college boyfriend. At a party.
2. My sister would have killed her friend. At a party.
3. I would have killed a co-worker. At a party. (The other attack was by a stranger, but I was in high school at the time and very unlikely to have had a firearm on me on my bike as I was coming home from school).
4. My friend would have killed multiple friends / boyfriends.
Maybe a better solution is that men stop raping their girlfriends, friends, and co-workers?
niyad
(113,510 posts)pecosbob
(7,542 posts)Don't get over it...just never forget.
LBM20
(1,580 posts)Response to Coventina (Original post)
Dark n Stormy Knight This message was self-deleted by its author.
Turin_C3PO
(14,022 posts)arent telling you to be quiet. The time for silence is over and righteous anger will put us over the top this November.
Lonestarblue
(10,038 posts)Rape is too often treated as a disagreement over sex instead of a violent invasion of a womans body. Police departments put rape kits on the shelf, where they sit for decades. Male judges side with the rapist and give them a slap on the wrist (see Brock Turner sentence for being found guilty of rape). Parents excuse their good boys for bad behavior by saying its just teenagers experimenting with sex and its just as much the females fault.
I would like to see mandatory classes early in high school about the damaging impact of rape, as well as explicit discussion of no means no, and information on how and why young women should report sexual assault and rape. And also discussion of penalties for anyone committing rape and this includes young men attempting to rape boys. Then penalties need to be enforced. If found guilty of rape, mandatory sentence depending on age. No ability for judges to let a rapist off. A second guilty verdict of rape would result in significant prison timeagain mandatory and out of judges discretion. There is noth8ng wrong with the maximum sentences already on the books for rapethey just need to be enforced and police need to investigate every case reported. Rape just is not taken seriously in our justice system and that needs to change.
Scurrilous
(38,687 posts)Initech
(100,097 posts)We can make the drunk rapist frat boy bully club irrelevant if we VOTE THEM OUT. And do so in numbers that are too large to manipulate! They must be defeated at all costs!
Nitram
(22,845 posts)Both took place in Tokyo, Japan, where she grew up.