can go on for some time

or a year if the deceased is your mother or father.

during sheloshim you basically can lead your normal life (as opposed to shiva, where you're not supposed to work and can't leave your home) except you're not supposed to do things that wouldn't be inconsistent with mourning. like taking nice baths or wearing new clothes or going to parties....

then you light a yarzeit candle on the anniversary of the death.

I have been to Jewish weddings but never a funeral. I am curious if non-Jews are allowed to participate in reading the Mourner’s Kaddish or shoveling the dirt. I’ve been included in a Passover Seder but that seems a million years ago so I forget the extent to which I was included. I was at a Catholic funeral where non-Catholic family members were told not to take communion. It did not go over well.

I’m was a United Methodist, then Lutheran, then back to UM. The Bush saga started last Fri night and it’s Thurs. The Kennedy death and services didn’t last this long. I can understand your frustration with such an extended period of mourning. However, I did get some teaching moments out of the services. As much as I am not fond of Simpson, I liked his comment about hate corroding the container.

Just the protracted time between death and burial is for me vaguely unsettling. But it’s not my scene.

Catholics usually have a funeral mass, just like masses on Sunday, and it doesn't officially include any eulogies.

(Though some priests allow for some personal words to be spoken at the end.)

Plus today they said anyone from the east was invited to the Washington service while those from the West were asked to the Texas service. They had to accommodate a lot of people.

So yes in this case it is political.

The delay between death and funeral in England is generally due to a lack of cremation facilities. If someone is being buried and it has been all planned out, then this delay is short.

My experience with funerals within my extended US family has been that it is a quick affair. My wife's grandmother passed last Thursday. Visitation was Sunday, funeral and interment into her mausoleum was on Monday.

To my recollection a death of a Muslim results in a quick burial (not cremation) as soon as possible. Mourning is for the family for however long it is (not too sure), so sounds like the quick lay to rest was obtained from Islam's Jewish roots as I didn't know Jewish funerals were quick.

concentration camps had small lit candles going. And small stones. Didn't know the stones were for Jewish people to be humble in one's remembrance. I think that is really nice. Don't know who lit the candles every single day. I would imagine catholic French people of non Jewish decent would do something like that to atone. But I don't know. Paris kept its beauty by not fighting the Germans on the streets. Glad they remember the cost of that.

We also have a different custom where I live. I am presently visiting my family in Indiana, and I was surprised to see how many people here still have burials instead of cremation, as well as funerals, caskets, viewings etc. I live in the Florida Keys and because we don’t have cemeteries, it is our custom to have our family members cremated and then we go in our beloved ocean to join with the life that exists there. We don’t have funerals, but we do celebrations on the beach or in the boats that follow the family to the place where the ashes will be scattered. We celebrate the person’s life and there is much laughter and stories, often a band and certainly plenty of food and drinks. My husband loved Eleuthera so part of him is in the turquoise waters of that rustic little island, the rest in the Keys.

Viewing of the deceased, followed by the saying of the Rosary. Funeral and interment happens the following day.

About as quick as the Jewish tradition

Catholic funerals wring every tear out of your head ... mournful music, extended trip to graveside ... it can be exhausting

The tough thing about Jewish burial is the service the next year for the unveiling. Burying someone twice is hard on the emotions.

Neither does my family.

Thank you for your post, PCIntern.

This means that we have an immediate cremation without a viewing. The cremation is usually done by a direct source and not a funeral home as a go between. (You can save thousands this way!) We have a memorial at a later date-sometimes months later, when everyone can afford to take time off to attend. It's usually at a park somewhere and often involves a potluck with a picture of the deceased and a quick prayer. Anything else is too expensive.

If someone was very religious we might have a small memorial at a church but we always have cremations.

Jewish husband's traditions. When she died, a Catholic funeral mass was held followed immediately by the Jewish burial rite at the cemetery. Covered all the bases.

She made all the arrangements decades ago. She didn't want a fuss, had herself cremated into a beautiful wooden box for her daughter and some crystals for her grandchildren. The service was a gathering at a funeral home with lots of pictures of her and all the family in meeting up and telling stories and enjoying each other. The pastor who spoke and offered a simple prayer was one of her hospice care workers who had bonded with her.

It was the first time I left a funeral feeling better than when I arrived.

That’s hard to beat.

I know Orthodox Jews do not embalm. Neither do Muslims.

My sister in law's mother (Reformed Jew) was cremated and it was awhile before they had a small memorial for her.

In the US we have the issue of extended family that travel over long distance. My doctor's father (Orthodox Jew) died and my doctor had to drop everything and get on the next flight across the county because his dad was buried the next day. (What if there was bad weather??)

My family were Eastern Orthodox Christians and in the old country, there was a brief viewing, then burial. No embalming available. No cold storage available. No waiting for travelers because everyone lived in the same town. However, the service is long and elaborate.

The National Cemeteries (VA) here in the US require vaults regardless of the faith.

I also sense the funeral industry has "preyed" on Christians and this has resulted in some of the OTT stuff. In the Catholic Church, you now must have both a graveside service and funeral mass. I think it used to be easier.