I just pictured a very upset bear groaning and gesturing for the camera, trying to explain how it all happened so fast hahaha

Some STDs are really hard to cure.

And you've had some exceptional ones.

Editor: Hey, can you follow up on this bear thing from TV?

Reporter: Oh Jesus, why. Game Commission never talks until the sheriff does, and the sheriff isn't.

Editor: Well, we're getting a lot of calls about it. It sounds like someone got hurt?

Reporter: We'll get nothing right now. Seriously. If Petosky isn't saying anything, and Game isn't saying anything, who's going to say anything? The hospital? Right.

Editor: Well, check the comment sections, maybe someone will say something you can follow up on.

Reporter: Jesus, like the brother of the victim is going to chime in?

Editor: You're the reporter! I want something online in an hour.

Reporter: I'll call the sheriff, I'll call Game, I'll call WNEP and use their article, and that's all I'll get in the next hour.

Editor: Fine, just do it. I'll send all the people calling about it to you, too.

Reporter: That sounds productive.

Editor: We haven't updated the website in 45 minutes, we need something new. If you don't want it to be this story, put something else together.