So Trump Now Wants GLOBAL WAMING?

That's what I read in his Tweet. He's concerned about the current Polar Vortex Plunge Freeze-Out in the Midwest, or something. I don't know. I do know that my furnace is working overtime here in St. Paul, MN. My drafty old 1950s house is full of cold spots and hot spots, so adjusting the thermostat is largely a matter of guesswork, really. The thermostat is in a hallway, right across from a heat register, so there's that, too.

Meanwhile, I got up this morning at 6 AM, and saw -27 F on the display of my weather clock as the outside temperature, with 71 F as the indoor temperature. Just as I was sitting down to sip some coffee, my wife said, "I think I saw the newspaper at the end of the driveway."

So, I heaved myself off the couch, still in my sandals with no socks, and with nothing more than a t-shirt on the upper half of my body, went outside and walked down the driveway to fetch the paper. You can do that. You really can, but it's cold by the time you come back inside. Nipplage is clearly apparent. Of course, opening the kitchen door dropped the temperature in the house a couple of degrees, according to my weather clock.

It's going to be another one of those days. The dogs have to go out, the outdoor birds have to be fed, along with the squirrels, who depend on us to provide them with enough food to stand the cold. The birds feed now right by the front wall of the house, in the bushes outside our picture window. The squirrels...well...they grab peanuts and run back up the tree. Every time the outside doors are open, the temperature inside will drop a couple of degrees, keeping the furnace on and burning even more natural gas.

Welcome to the real world, Donwald! This polar plunge thing? Well, it's actually caused by global climate change, in part, so stop calling it GLOBAL WAMING, OK? You can't even spell warming, so clearly you have no freaking idea of what you're talking about. Just STFU, and then, while you're at it, get back to work on your resignation letter. There's a good lad!