embrace the old and turn it to positive and enjoy life. not always looking behind

past which was a lot of fun, but as you say, not gonna happen. I also need to downsize for the future.

Your words are words of wisdom!

i have had a strong need to downsize for a good decade.

i have been gently suggesting this to hubby and he goes with me on it, until i see the kind of house he is looking to buy, with retirement. NOOOOOO, i say. that is NOT downsizing, lol.

i could have close to bare nothing. it works for me. things have not mattered to me in a very long time.

Some of them are really, really cool.

http://www.facebook.com/tinyhousedesign?ref=ts

Lots of links to other houses from the FB page and some offer free floor plans. If downsizing is what you want this is the real deal!

i could do that all the way.

he wants to get 50-100 acres with a stream so he can fish, out front porch, lol lol.

i say k, i will find that. we want to build. big great room with kitchen to side, all open. bedroom and open space upstairs for his "stuff" room. works for me. done. 1500sq ft tops.

no, we need bedrooms for the kids when they visit.

they can sleep on the floor, lol. i say.

this time with only one room. Heck, you could build one at a time until you had the number you wanted or even rescue some old metal sheds and renovate them into something.

I love the tiny houses-they have so much personality! One mentioned on that page somewhere has two small sheds off the side of the house for storage depending on the season. (Blankets, winter clothes and supplies, etc.) Most have large porches that are used as an extended outdoor room and quite a few also have three season screened in back porches for the same reason. You could stick the kids in the screen room as long as it's not snowing or too cold when they visit.

And you can convince him to get a smaller acreage. Find something gorgeous with a local fishing hole nearby, then you can downsize!

(just wanted to add a link to possibly my favorite tiny house! http://www.innermosthouse.com/photo.php?pageID=96 )

i would have more chance convincing him to be a dem, lol.

oh, and i convinced him the kids dont have to go to an ivy league

and initials on button up shirts are not a must. hey... just wear shorts to work, lol. and running around the house in boxers is totally acceptable.

his parents think i am ruining the man.

k.... i have about a decade to work on this.

especially if the two of you could take some nice weekend drives and maybe look at a few. There are maps online somewhere that show you where the tiny houses open to the public are located.

Big is nice but there's something about cozy and snug that, if done properly, might eventually appeal to him. Easy to clean, no accumulation of junk, and really low utility bills. A few places offer them up as weekend retreats.

Actually, that might be an angle for you: build one as a weekend retreat and warm him up to the idea of eventually living in it. I'd love to live in one. Can you imagine how fast the house would be cleaned?

A tiny house, a huge garden, a smallish pond maybe (could be stocked every spring) and a clothesline with clothes drying in the breeze would be perfect. Sitting on the front porch in a rocker while snapping beans would be just heavenly.

you need to write the brochures.

and I'd be only too happy to write their brochures!

And stop hitting on your teenage children's friends.

That's what it means, right?

I can feel the "get off my yard" tendency a bit at times, but as you said, I do my best not to complain, accept what I must, and change what I can.

next Sunday (1st Sunday in September)

Unfortunately I don't get around as well as I used to. So I just gotta keep teaching online.

I am having a hard time with this one. 50, not so bad.

in life to no longer let either overtake the good, the pleasant and the nerve from them.


Happy belated, and enjoy everything you get the chance to.

passive acceptance of inevitable decline. At least that's always been the context.

It's a concept I reject!

I crashed my bike a couple of years ago and wound up in the ER with cracked ribs and a broken collarbone. When I told the ER physician, a 30-something woman, how it happened she looked at me with disdain and asked: "What's a man your age doing riding a motorcycle?"

I answered: "What's a girl your age doing being a doctor?"

I'm still biking, water skiing, weightlifting and doing whatever gives me pleasure at any particular moment. I don't care if anyone thinks that I'm being ungraceful.

Two years until I'm Medicare eligible and I look forward to showing my card to the ER doctor after a Jet-Ski mishap. And yes, there will be more mishaps in my future.

BTW: When my collarbone healed it was 1/2 an inch longer. Added 15 yards to my tee shots.

active and in better physical shape than many younger women I know. Sure, I can feel a difference in my body from when I was younger, but I'm still the same person and will keep doing the same things that I've always enjoyed as long as my body will let me.

the more you're able to do. Simple fact of life that escapes many.

Of course, we had no choice but to stay active. Our kids are still young (youngest is 19). At 60 I was still coaching her. At one point I was coaching soccer, lacrosse, softball and basketball--with overlapping seasons. The parents of most of my players were twenty years younger than me.

We were at The Barclay's yesterday at Bethpage Black. Lots of steep hills. We walked about 15 holes with Tiger and Rory, but there were plenty of younger gentlemen that gave up along the way and made the long trek back to the clubhouse.

Watching the spectacle it looked like the Bethpage Death March.

After-wards, we refreshed ourselves in the Ketel One tent.

Although I have a bad ticker, I am in te best shape in my life. I enjoy being in better shape than anyone at work. I am finishing the framing and roof on a new front porch. Doing all the work by myself. Takes me a lot longer to do such things though. Get tired real quick.

What I get a chuckle out of is someone in their 40's + who try and pick up people in their 20's. Some things are just gross.

after my dad died. He died when his ultralight crashed. All the news reports said variations of this: "An elderly Huntington Beach man died today when . . ."

ELDERLY?! WTF?! He was only 68 years old! That's not elderly!

Is 68 elderly to anyone reading this? I won't take offense if you say yes (but I can't speak for any 68-yr-olds here . . . ).

AR Granny, you just keep it up. Do all the things! Do everything you feel like doing and don't ever stop.

I got to be this "elderly", will be 69 in September. And when I read about some elderly 68, 69 year old person, I just can't identify with them. I don't know what age I am in my mind, but it's not 68!

Doing "young guy" things when you are an "old guy" is fairly universally admired, if sometimes a bit wonderingly at the lack of concern for injury implicit therein. Trying to look like a young guy while doing it, isn't. Adapting the clothing, look, musical tastes of the young is more problematic. To avoid the ungracefully aging comments you can certainly ride a motorcycle, but you can't do it while wearing skater-boi jeans and wraparound sunglasses while blaring Green Day through an iPod.

On the way, I need to stop by the workout center at my apartment complex and see if I can find someone to explain the machines to me.

By the way, I'm 67.

I think I need to just walk for a week or two, then try using some of the weight machines in the workout center.

thinking of starting an exercise program... modify, adapt, consult with a trainer and get the advice of your doctor.

The weight machines are fairly self-explanatory, but you should consult with the trainer.

I did chair-assisted pull ups for three months before I tried one unassisted, then two, then more. Now I do 50 in progression. Ten reps, five sets.

Started with Resistance bands, now I use dumbbells up to 50 pounds.

And... very important... I have a degenerated sacral disc which I've suffered with since I was 16, plus arthritis in my neck and upper back. If I didn't do Yoga two or three times a week I'd be confined to the recliner.

More than anything else, balance and flexibility will help you stay fit and active.

It's NEVER too late to start.

Whether that's true or not (not that I doubt you), that is hilarious.

At first I wanted to be silly, but I'm having my own issues with aging. I think part of the gracefully is accepting when your body tells you, "You want to do what?" Not saying give up, keep at what you love, but an awareness that entropy eventually is the winner. Chasing my seven year old girl keeps me busy, playing Mass Effect or Witcher makes me feel kid like. Mind if I join in?

Contributing my time and resources to leave things a bit better than how I found them. Trying to bring happiness to others - be they human, animal, plant!

and in my mind and heart I might be young but my body tells me different. Learn to live with your limits that age does to a body. Also don't be afraid to grow old. Embrace it. I sure don't want to go back. Really when you finally can quit working and stay home is really a happy time. You can go and do what you want.

I think growing old gracefully is over-rated. Like "maturity," which is what happens to a ripe tomato just before it hits the ground and rots. I'd rather run my stick along the public rail.

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple

meaning, of course you can't go dancing at a night club with young people !!!!

I say phooey on that. I'm not harming anyone and I'm not going to hit on women young enough to be my daughter.

and purple always was my favorite color .

And don't sit around moaning about it. Stay active. I am 65 raise and show Newfoundland dogs.

I don't like seeing older folks drunk drunk.
Besides it's bad for your health.

As I approach 60, 54 doesn't seem so older.... now. I'm really feeling the age thing physically now.

The unfortunate thing is your skin is part of what you don't like so much anymore

Your whole life you are trying to impress and even be someone you're not.
And then you get to a certain point where you just feel like - here I am - take it or leave it.
The mind games just aren't important to you anymore.

The grace to accept our past mistakes, the finesse to accept the current mistakes of those around us, and the wisdom in ignoring our biases when necessary (and a quiet bemusement when confronted with melodrama).

Seems to me that every year that passes, I become that much less frustrated (which is much different than 'concern) with those around me-- regardless of whether it's due merely to a disagreement in our positions, or as dramatic as paleolithic legislation.

You ever know those people who can only talk about their past?
Or who whine and moan about be old and complain about their limitations and aches and pains?
Or wear bad wigs or real obvious hair dyes above their very wrinkled faces?

I love being ..older. I even carry a walking stick sometimes. Whipper snappers jump to open doors for me and sometimes offer to carry things and "do for" me....when I choose to act old.

Older women often are invisible in this society...and guess what? It's a blessing..you can stand still and observe all sorts of stuff, no one notices you.
My role model is Maxine...

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"My generation, baby!"

(thank you, Peter Townsend!)

It's better to burn out
than to fade away...

...

But a lot of times it means to act your age in ways defined by other...and that really means just to become old and sedate and don't make any waves and to sit politely and be an old person living in that quite proper old person way. Bullshit! I am in my 70's and really enjoy my life. In my late 50's, I sold everything and moved to Mexico where I lived until I was 64 and returned to the USA...mainly to take advantage of medicare benefits here. I lived in Georgia for 4 yrs...until I moved to Arkansas to start my own goat farm...and I am still there and enjoying it greatly. People, friends, children have been horrified...horrified, I tell you that I don't act my age and grow old gracefully. For the most part, that meant that I should move into a "nice" senior community (my children had a had an intervention of sorts and actually drove me to see The villages in Florida...they believed I should have moved there). Hahahahahahaha!
So, I say again. Bullshit!!! Don't grow old gracefully. Grow old happy and enjoying your life...the one that you choose to live.

How does one go about quitting one's life and moving to another country? Did you have children? Family? What did you do in Mexico to make enough money to buy a goat farm in Arkansas?

Just wondering how people go about doing these things.

and bought a small..very small..ha...house in Mexico on the island of Isla Mujeres and lived a very simple life. Had taken an early retirement from state employment and had a small pension...so that is how I lived..and then began collecting SS as well while living in Mexico. When I returned to the US, I bought a small, small house for $23,000 and financed it..and fixed it up, etc. (still trying to sell that property now). Sold my house in Mexico for three times what I paid for it. Bought 10 acres here in Arkansas with a barn and well..built what one would call a tiny house here, fenced and added smaller barns and bought 3 goats that was 4 yrs ago. Those goats turned from 3 goats to 30 goats in 3 years. I have sold almost half of them and have another 8 for sale now in my quest to develop an excellent dairy goat breed of what is called a "Snubian" goat (Saanan and Nubian). It is so fun. I have children who are now in their 50's living is 3 seperate states and grandchildren who are also grown and great grands living in Florida. In a nutshell, that is how I did it. The secret is to realize that you don't need big houses, or much money or many things and that your life doesn't really change that much without them....except that it is lots more fun and you are much happier. That and being willing to work very hard and learn to do thing yourself.

You are so lucky and I'm so glad you got this opportunity. Sounds like great fun.

My home is now worth about the same amount as I paid for it 20+ years ago. But I'm hoping in a few years prices will bounce back and between my home and my dad's (which will come to me in time) I'll have enough to get a small place in Florida for a goat farm like yours. Like you, I've never required bigger, better houses, cars, etc. My car is a 1995. It runs fine and looks fine so why should I get rid of it? It's kind of a gas hog (SUV), but it was bought when gas was cheap. Still, the price of gas for it is far less than a car payment. I've always been able to get by with less.

Keep in touch. I'd love to hear more your goats.

My profile pic is one of me and some of my baby goats and ask to friend me. Then you can see pics of what I have built here and of the farm and goats. If not that, email me at murrayhillfarm2@yahoo.com and I will send you some pictures. It is rewarding and fun and interesting life. I hope, hope you get to experience it.

...to younger people.

Right now I'm mentoring my son, so to speak, but I look forward to many years of that.

But I don't even think about "growing old gracefully.". I just go on living like I always have, taking each day as it comes. I don't feel old at all.

I am a woman who "looks her age", but who accepts compliments from others who may say I look younger (I know they are being nice)

No amount of make-up, cute clothes, or trendy shoes will make me look "young".

Been there, done that.. When I was young, I enjoyed that phase, and now I decide to also enjoy this phase.

I always feel a bit sad when I see Cher.. She would have been a beautiful woman as she aged naturally, but we will never know what she would have grown into.

Old should not equal "ugly", but market gurus have been trying to get us all to believe that, so we will continue to buy their wonder-cures for aging

All I can say is that growing old sucks. I am a 73-year-old female. My hair is thinning, my teeth are falling out and my skin is starting to wrinkle and my body has odd aches and pains. But as my daughter says, it is better than the alternative. I plan on being around for the next 10 years.

Fuck that.

and refusing to jump though all sorts of hoops to try to recapture your early 20s.

not being angry and resentful that you are getting old. Maybe that means having the grace of your youth in your approach to life without being young. I think some people can just get pissed off that they are not young anymore and get jealous of others that are young.

I think growing older gracefully has a lot to do with patience. To me, patience shows dignity. And I've always thought that I'd like to have a little dignity as I age.

Fortunately, as I have aged, I have grown more patient.

PS Happy birthday.

After all these decades of angry bowel syndrome just how the hell does ANYONE think I'm ever gonna get graceful?

i have actually enjoyed aging. not so much some of the physical aspects of it but the experiences and the, hopefully, wisdom. i recently watched a movie for the first time since i was in high school. i was shocked at how bad it is. can't believe i once liked such stuff (lost boys with the two coreys for all you fellow gen xers).