Why don't you stand on a street corner and try it randomly. See what sort of reactions you get.

Meaning in the future. He's trying to say that one day it will get so bad that looking with be considered harassment.

Glancing and giving a innocent, friendly smile to someone will never be against the law. And is often appreciated.

Uffda! Sorry, but someone being attractive in your mind is not a go-ahead signal for your gesture. Glancing at someone is one thing, amplifying that by staring, leering, or blowing kisses is just not appropriate.

I'm 73 years old. I still do brief double-takes on some people, but never I want them to notice that I'm doing that. So, they probably don't notice, which means I've given no offense.

though that I don't think someone above you in a work situation should be blowing anyone a kiss.

for sexual harassment... catcalls are harassment, unfair treatment at work can be harassment, etc... blowing a kiss in some situations can be a greater example of sexual harassment than a touch

after Trump blew him a kiss. I bet Comey was thinking, "What the hell have I done?"

Are you blowing a kiss to a random stranger? Another man? Your mother? Your wife or girlfriend? Are you at work? Is the recipient your boss, a co-worker or a subordinate employee? Are you a teacher blowing a kiss to a student? Do you do it regularly to this person or is this the first time? Does the recipient seem angry, annoyed, pleased or amused? Do you get a kiss back or the finger?

Context is everything.

You know
One guy
To another who feels he’s the more macho of the two

then, yes, that's sexual harassment. If you blow a kiss to anyone other than your SO, that is also sexual harassment.

Creeps me out that anyone over the age of 10 even has to ask.

blatant sexual suggestion and would be taken as an aggressive and unwanted move by most women, as well as men? Why would your first inclination to greet anyone be sexual in nature rather than a wave, a handshake or a smile? If you blew a kiss to a man, what outcome would you expect in return?

Last edited Sun Mar 31, 2019, 12:24 AM - Edit history (1)

and continues for decades, as long as a woman is out in public.

If you think 12 year olds being subject to unwanted male attention can be a subject of levity, then think again. If you think adult men can tell the difference between a developed 12 year old and a 20 year old, then think again.

No man should be blowing kisses at any female he passes in the street.

ON UPDATE: I made a mistake. A friend told me it started for HER when she was 9. Grown men were catcalling her because they couldn't tell a 9 year old from an adult woman.

You don’t know me, you don’t know my work as a manager w zero tolerance for sexual harassment, you don’t know how my parents raised me to understand from day one that women are equals and to be treated with the same respect I would want for myself. I was raised among strong women who were my role models. You don’t know anything about how I treat women in my family or women in the workplace. You know nothing about my 40 year marriage who to my soulmate and equal in every way, the relationships I have with my close female friends. I have heard their painful stories of sexual harassment at the hands of asshole men.

That you would put words in my mouth and suggest I think its funny for men to leer at 12 year olds is shocking.

That men would act that way towards 12 years girls is disgusting. That behavior is egregious. Catcalling and leering at women of every age is horrible.

You can read every damn word I have written on DU or anywhere and you will not find a damn thing that you have attributed to me in your post.

Please self delete, thank you

I responded to your suggestion that the OP was trying to introduce levity into the situation. But there is no levity in the situation of men blowing kisses at women they don't know. And even worse, often these "women" are just girls.

“If you think 12 year olds being subject to unwanted male attention can be a subject of levity, then think again.”

The pronoun “you” in that sentence refers to me. You insinuate I think it is funny for 12 year old young women to be leered at and be harrased by men.

I don’t think that at all. I think it is vile and disgusting

I feel you were insinuating/suggesting I am soft on sexual harassment with your post. That’s my characterization of your rhetorical choices in your post to me, not a direct quote. Of course you never said those words nor did I say you said them.

As an aside I don’t care anything about the OP. But where did you come up with this idea he was talking about 12 year olds?

And why did you think it was ok to say to me that I think it’s funny to harrass 12 year old girls?

Why do you still apparently think it’s ok that you said that to me?

Would it be ok if another DU’er put some horribly egregious words in your mouth that repel you and aren’t anything you believe?

That are in fact against every thing you’ve felt, known, believed all your life?

I promise you if I ever saw someone do that to you, I would push back hard against that person.

I’d also ask them to please self-delete.

such as a boss to employee under certain circumstances.

but blowing kisses to a large audience or groups of people after a speech, concert etc is fine.

Blowing kisses to a girl or woman walking down the street by herself is not okay. It's threatening and gross.

Socially, I don't understand why anyone would blow a kiss unless they already knew that person.

Why are they winking at me and why won’t they stop is my second thought.

as it shows you more ads for stuff.

If you're a straight guy, and you want to know how to approach a woman you're not close to, then follow this simple rule: only do things to acknowledge a woman that you would do to another guy.

And you might be doing it to a 12 year old, because men are poor judges of a woman's age and 12 is the median age for girls hitting puberty -- so half of 12 year olds already look much like they'll look in college.

I had to walk to school at that age and was so disgusted by old men (old compared to me) hanging out of their cars to ogle or make kissing noises or whistle. Gross, gross, gross. Don't ever think it's flattering. It isn't.

It's disgusting and even scary, especially when you're a child or teen.

I’m the most awkward, nerdy, dorky-ass, socially idiotic guy around and yet I manage to interact pleasantly with both genders with no fear of being viewed as a harasser because I respect basic fucking boundaries.

I don’t fucking wink at people unless I know them well enough that there’s no question how they’ll take it. Same with touching, blowing kisses (the fuck? Who does that shit anymore?), or sexualized commentary.

It ain’t hard, people. Somebody in another thread actually said “men are becoming socially impotent because of fear of ‘harassment.’” That’s pathetic, whiny bullcrap.

If it's a stranger, then yes, that's a sexual gesture, albeit a mild one. Most people will just shrug it off, but not all, so it's not an appropriate thing to do to a stranger. Many would consider it sexual harassment.

If it's someone you know, then you should know how that person would react to your gesture. If you don't, then it might be misinterpreted and not appreciated. Would it rise to sexual harassment? That depends on your relationship with that person.

If it's someone you work with, then it might well constitute sexual harassment. It's a virtual kiss. Ask yourself whether a real kiss would be acceptable. If not, then don't blow kisses, either.

If you mean the gesture to be flirtatious, then ask yourself why you are flirting with that person. Is flirtation a mutual activity between you and the person? If not, then your gesture is probably unwelcome. Why do something that might be unwelcome?

If it's meant as an insult, as it often is with someone of the same sex, then just don't do that. Insults are almost always unwelcome.