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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDeutsche Bank Begins Removing Possessions From White House After Trump Defaults On Loan
WASHINGTONAs the inconsolable president stood outside in his threadbare robe in the early hours of Wednesday morning, employees sent by Deutsche Bank began removing possessions from the White House after Donald Trump defaulted on his loans, sources confirmed. Come on, guys, just give me a couple more weeks and I can get the money togetherno, not the TV! said the tear-stricken commander in chief as repossession officers from the German bank carried items including the Resolute Desk, a portrait of Andrew Jackson, and his golf clubs out of the White House, informing him that the bank could no longer wait for him to pay back millions of dollars of debt. Not the china, that was Reagans! Please, you guys know Im good for it. I have the funds, you have to believe me, Ive got them tied up in other things. I just have to move some money around. Wait, thats my favorite chair! If my wife gets home and sees that her beautiful clothes and the Winston Churchill bust are gone, shes gonna kill me! Ill get the moneyplease dont leave me with nothing. At press time, the sobbing president was standing barefoot in the empty Oval Office after the Deutsche Bank employees had removed the slippers from his feet.
https://politics.theonion.com/deutsche-bank-begins-removing-possessions-from-white-ho-1834776775
justhanginon
(3,290 posts)Ilsa
(61,698 posts)Offer US property as collateral for his personal loans.
FakeNoose
(32,748 posts)Chump could never offer the White House as collateral, could he? Well COULD HE??
SWBTATTReg
(22,166 posts)out the wazoo!
FailureToCommunicate
(14,020 posts)launder his stolen wealth.
renate
(13,776 posts)Not the details of the story (that would be too good to be true) but either him leaving quietly or under protest.
We would never, ever, ever have predicted the headlines we're reading now; maybe someday the newspapers will be full of good headlines like this.
MarianJack
(10,237 posts)RESIST!
Mc Mike
(9,115 posts)DoctorJoJo
(1,134 posts)Mc Mike
(9,115 posts)"will tweet nazi garbage for food $".
lindysalsagal
(20,730 posts)Too funny!
yaesu
(8,020 posts)mountain grammy
(26,648 posts)a headline that read, Bolton says an attack on Saudi Arabia is an attack on all Americans. Doesn't that sound completely real? In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to hear the walrus utter those exact words by the end of the week.
Meantime, this one is funny!