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cali

(114,904 posts)
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 02:55 AM Aug 2012

Holy shit- David Brooks SHREDS Mittens- and it's funny as hell: The Real Romney

The Real Romney
By DAVID BROOKS
Published: August 27, 2012 12 Comments

<snip>

Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, “Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known,” was widely admired.

The Romneys had a special family tradition. The most cherished member got to spend road trips on the roof of the car. Mitt spent many happy hours up there, applying face lotion to combat windburn.

<snip>

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/28/opinion/brooks-the-real-romney.html

53 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Holy shit- David Brooks SHREDS Mittens- and it's funny as hell: The Real Romney (Original Post) cali Aug 2012 OP
I know Summer Hathaway Aug 2012 #1
From a man who wears his name brand, Brooks proves that he is not WCGreen Aug 2012 #2
really! can't believe Brooks wrote this lol!! maybe someone hacked the nyt site BREMPRO Aug 2012 #3
I've never seen any sign that Brooks is this funny or this clever- cali Aug 2012 #4
I don't think David cares for Mittens. n/t Cracklin Charlie Aug 2012 #40
WOW, this is huge. speedoo Aug 2012 #5
I think it's more of a sign that the people he chats with are saying things like this JHB Aug 2012 #14
It will be interesting to see what Brooks has to say in follow up. speedoo Aug 2012 #16
No he didnt!!!! Pachamama Aug 2012 #6
I certainly enjoyed the read. SmittynMo Aug 2012 #7
OMG! I'm stunned. nt snappyturtle Aug 2012 #8
this can't be real - KT2000 Aug 2012 #9
Zowie Sherman A1 Aug 2012 #10
Who's writing his material? Bill Maher? aint_no_life_nowhere Aug 2012 #11
It's NOT brilliant, but it is a sign of bracing for a debacle JHB Aug 2012 #12
where did I say it was brilliant? cali Aug 2012 #13
Not you personally, but several commeters in the thread have used that term JHB Aug 2012 #15
Yes, it would be interesting to hear what's being cali Aug 2012 #20
Unfortunantly, Romney can't buy Joementum. UnrepentantLiberal Aug 2012 #17
It's great - very Dave Barry-esque. reformist2 Aug 2012 #18
ROFLMAO...."Bip, Chip, Rip, Skip and Dip" Skidmore Aug 2012 #19
Agree with most on this thread that this doesn't sound like Brooks. senseandsensibility Aug 2012 #21
This is hilarious and well-written...it CAN'T be Brooks! joeybee12 Aug 2012 #22
I nearly threw up laughing at this. n/t reflection Aug 2012 #23
"While at Bain, he helped rescue many outstanding companies, like Pan Am, Eastern Airlines, Atari & FSogol Aug 2012 #24
I did not know the David Brooks had a humorous bone in his body... Jeff In Milwaukee Aug 2012 #25
Great stuff, but ... Don Davis Aug 2012 #26
This is hilarious. Who knew David Brooks could be so funny? mnhtnbb Aug 2012 #27
Just trying to make Birther jokes okay. Atman Aug 2012 #28
that's a huge stretch cali Aug 2012 #33
A bigger stretch than Brooks simply making fun of the GOP candidate? Atman Aug 2012 #36
"Secret Service nickname is Mannequin" Jennicut Aug 2012 #29
Funny as all hell, but... CANDO Aug 2012 #30
They can both go to hell TomClash Aug 2012 #31
actually, they're quite different cali Aug 2012 #34
They can - still - both go to hell TomClash Aug 2012 #49
"Shredding" is probably a bit strong for an editorial that Mittens probably didn't even read... progress2k12nbynd Aug 2012 #32
it's not an editorial. it's a piece of satire. cali Aug 2012 #38
I refuse to click a Brooks link. WilliamPitt Aug 2012 #35
I don't really get that kind of visceral response to Brooks cali Aug 2012 #39
Brooks was the gentleman neocon who pushed the Iraq invasion WilliamPitt Aug 2012 #42
harder and better than any other opinion maker? cali Aug 2012 #45
Check your inbox Melissa G Aug 2012 #44
interesting comment from a reader shireen Aug 2012 #37
I can hardly believe that Brooks wrote this. I have seriously coalition_unwilling Aug 2012 #41
Morning Joe looked a bit upset... johnny156 Aug 2012 #43
I can't believe yonder Aug 2012 #46
Did the Onion hack NY Times? Moral Compass Aug 2012 #47
I think he's being sarcastic... whatacountry09 Aug 2012 #48
I think he hates Romney. eilen Aug 2012 #50
I didn't know Brooks had it in him. tilsammans Aug 2012 #51
That's actually pretty funny. Marr Aug 2012 #52
Still chuckling, I hope this is a harbinger of things to come SIDURI Aug 2012 #53

BREMPRO

(2,331 posts)
3. really! can't believe Brooks wrote this lol!! maybe someone hacked the nyt site
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 03:12 AM
Aug 2012

it's priceless whoever wrote it! a roast of the first order. if it's brooks, guess he's not really on the "bandwagon" haha!!

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
4. I've never seen any sign that Brooks is this funny or this clever-
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 03:16 AM
Aug 2012

though he has shown flashes of acerbic wit re romney.

speedoo

(11,229 posts)
5. WOW, this is huge.
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 03:19 AM
Aug 2012

David Brooks really wrote that and it is the most damning thing anyone could do to Romney.

Brooks is very conservative and probably almost always votes republican, was a strong defender of Bush/Cheney, yet he tears Romney apart.

Obviously he sees Romney the same way most of us do: a complete phony, gutless, unprincipled, and a terrible candidate.

JHB

(37,163 posts)
14. I think it's more of a sign that the people he chats with are saying things like this
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 04:17 AM
Aug 2012

I think some people are mentally preparing themselves for a big loss, and they'll put all the blame on Mitt rather than themselves and their policies.

speedoo

(11,229 posts)
16. It will be interesting to see what Brooks has to say in follow up.
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 04:56 AM
Aug 2012

Does he still appear on PBS every weekend? If he is on any talk shows I am sure he will be asked about it.

For that matter, his piece will certainly get a lot of attention in general on the talk shows. Maybe even intrude on the convention coverage.

JHB

(37,163 posts)
12. It's NOT brilliant, but it is a sign of bracing for a debacle
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 04:09 AM
Aug 2012

The only thing remarkable about the parody is that it's coming from Brooks, one of the professional weather vanes of what's acceptable to talk about in the cocktail parties of Washington and New York political/media elites. And if it's ok to chortle like this about him in public...

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
13. where did I say it was brilliant?
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 04:12 AM
Aug 2012

I think it is pretty funny. actually, I think it's quite funny and you have to be humor impaired not to find it funny.

JHB

(37,163 posts)
15. Not you personally, but several commeters in the thread have used that term
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 04:25 AM
Aug 2012

Yes, it's funny, but I've read plenty of things like it over the months of the Republican primaries. The real remarkable thing here is that it's coming from David Brooks. Which makes me wonder what is being said about Romney inside the social bubble from which he generates his usual self-serving blather.

We'll see if he keeps it up, or not.

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
20. Yes, it would be interesting to hear what's being
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 07:12 AM
Aug 2012

said in the social circles that Brooks operates within.

 

joeybee12

(56,177 posts)
22. This is hilarious and well-written...it CAN'T be Brooks!
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 08:09 AM
Aug 2012

I wonder why he hates Mittens so much???

FSogol

(45,532 posts)
24. "While at Bain, he helped rescue many outstanding companies, like Pan Am, Eastern Airlines, Atari &
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 08:24 AM
Aug 2012

DeLorean. "

"Some have said that Romney’s lifestyle is overly privileged, pointing to the fact that he has an elevator for his cars in the garage of his San Diego home. This is not entirely fair. Romney owns many homes without garage elevators and the cars have to take the stairs. "

Jeff In Milwaukee

(13,992 posts)
25. I did not know the David Brooks had a humorous bone in his body...
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 08:31 AM
Aug 2012

Turns out that in addition the humerus, he has several.

Don Davis

(3,599 posts)
26. Great stuff, but ...
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 08:31 AM
Aug 2012

Great stuff, but perhaps David Brooks is actually angling for a job in a potential Romney administration - as his parody of William F. Buckley landed him a job with that iconic conservative.

Now here's a parody of David Brooks!
http://satiricalpolitical.com/2010/07/11/parody-david-brooks-ideological-parity/

Atman

(31,464 posts)
28. Just trying to make Birther jokes okay.
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 08:52 AM
Aug 2012

Make no mistake about the purpose of this article -- to make it okay to "joke" about Obama and birtherism. Brooks is saying 'see, we can joke about Mitt, you need to lighten up about Obama.' But I see a big difference in a purely satirical column, and a mean-spirited dog-whistle to the worst elements of the Tea Bag party. Romney's joke was not a joke at all, but Brooks' column was obviously intended to be humorous.

Atman

(31,464 posts)
36. A bigger stretch than Brooks simply making fun of the GOP candidate?
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 11:23 AM
Aug 2012

It's not specifically about birtherism, it is about softening up the audience for their onslaught of Obama jokes. Now, next time someone on the left gets upset at one of Romney's lame attempts at humor, they'll all just be able to point to this article, by a know Republican.

 

CANDO

(2,068 posts)
30. Funny as all hell, but...
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 09:36 AM
Aug 2012

What Brooks is really doing is making it OK to attack (make jokes) against President Obama.

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
34. actually, they're quite different
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 09:56 AM
Aug 2012

I'm no fan of Brooks, (until now) but they're entirely different.

 

progress2k12nbynd

(221 posts)
32. "Shredding" is probably a bit strong for an editorial that Mittens probably didn't even read...
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 09:51 AM
Aug 2012

I'm always somewhat amused by the verbs we use on here (destroys, tears a new one, wipes the floor with) to describe interactions when the attacked person wasn't even there.

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
38. it's not an editorial. it's a piece of satire.
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 11:31 AM
Aug 2012

and an opinion column. And what does Mitt reading it have to do with whether or not it "shred" him?

And actually it does shred him in the sense that it mocks everything about him.

 

WilliamPitt

(58,179 posts)
35. I refuse to click a Brooks link.
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 09:58 AM
Aug 2012

Sounds like I'm missing a good one.

Then again, I have a busted watch in the other room that's right twice a day.

So.

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
39. I don't really get that kind of visceral response to Brooks
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 11:33 AM
Aug 2012

I don't like the guy. I don't care for his commentary (this column excepted) but I don't have the kind of loathing toward him that I have for, say, Rich Lowry.

 

WilliamPitt

(58,179 posts)
42. Brooks was the gentleman neocon who pushed the Iraq invasion
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 12:07 PM
Aug 2012

harder and better than any other opinion-maker.

Speaking as the person who wrote the first book saying all the proffered reasons for invasion were bullshit, Brooks has a special place in my heart as the antithesis of what needed to happen during that time. He was among the head cheerleaders for war, and time has shown him to have been 100% wrong about everything...but oh, he writes so well, and he's so reasonable, etc etc etc. As late as 2006 and 2007, he was getting lavish treatment from NPR and other media outlets, despite the fact that his words went a long way towards consigning millions to death and maiming, and helped hurl us down into the financial shit pit we still wallow in.

Fuck him.

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
45. harder and better than any other opinion maker?
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 01:08 PM
Aug 2012

he was one of many. from, sadly, both the left and the right. I personally think Hitchens pushed it "better". Hell, Senator Franken spoke out in support of the Iraq invasion- though of course he wasn't yet a Senator. And a couple score of dem senators voted for it and agitated for it vocally, not to mention all those dem congress critters. And hundreds of other "opinion makers", some more influential than Brooks. He was no more the "head cheerleader" for the war than Hitchens. He was one of many.

I don't think he writes terribly well. He's not that influential except within a certain small cadre.

As I said, I don't get the visceral hatred of him when compared to others on the right who are a lot more influential and a lot viler.

but whatever. we all have our pet peeves.

Melissa G

(10,170 posts)
44. Check your inbox
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 12:22 PM
Aug 2012

I understand your dislike of Brooks, the shill for the Iraq war and other odious things.

shireen

(8,333 posts)
37. interesting comment from a reader
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 11:28 AM
Aug 2012

"He's making fun of US, not of Romney."

If this was an attempt at caricature, it was a miserable FAIL. Everything he wrote was funny and TRUE.



 

coalition_unwilling

(14,180 posts)
41. I can hardly believe that Brooks wrote this. I have seriously
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 11:55 AM
Aug 2012

underestimated his talents before today. Priceless!

 

johnny156

(21 posts)
43. Morning Joe looked a bit upset...
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 12:08 PM
Aug 2012

they were passing the paper around expressing their dismay, asking each other where they thought David Brooks was going with the piece. LOL

yonder

(9,679 posts)
46. I can't believe
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 01:14 PM
Aug 2012

this was written by THAT David Brooks, and if so, I'm even more mystified as to what his intentions/motivations may be. It is uncharacteristically funny though.

Moral Compass

(1,526 posts)
47. Did the Onion hack NY Times?
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 02:56 PM
Aug 2012

Cmon, this can't be real!

I linked to the NY Times, but I still don't believe it. Someone from a)The Onion b) Funny or Die or maybe even c) College Humor hacked the NY Times site...

eilen

(4,950 posts)
50. I think he hates Romney.
Tue Aug 28, 2012, 08:12 PM
Aug 2012

By noon tomorrow the RepubBorg will get him to retract this, if it even notices during the the Convention Orgy in Tampa.

 

Marr

(20,317 posts)
52. That's actually pretty funny.
Wed Aug 29, 2012, 01:30 AM
Aug 2012

Is Brooks not enthused about the Romney/Ryan ticket? I'd have assumed he would very much on board with the big business candidate.

SIDURI

(67 posts)
53. Still chuckling, I hope this is a harbinger of things to come
Wed Aug 29, 2012, 01:49 AM
Aug 2012

Molly Ivins would be so proud. She once called him "the spaniel-eyed David Brooks" and I am sure that she (like the rest of us) never suspected that the man had unplumbed depths of humor and wit.

Siduri

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