Letters to Republicans from Carrie "Hatchetation" Nation

Last edited Fri Oct 25, 2019, 04:07 AM - Edit history (1)

I am on the warpath. Starting at the top of the list of GOP numbnuts and working my way down. Making a list, checking it twice, sending emails to the whole deplorable bunch. Tomorrow, I start calling their offices.

Kevin McCarthy
Mark Twain once said, "An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere." He clearly never met a dullard like you. Your continued presence in the House is an embarrassment to the country, the state of California and the 23rd district.

Your defense of the lawless behavior of Trump is a disgrace and your reputation will follow you like a bad case of herpes. I will be donating to Kim Mangana in hopes that you lose your seat in 2020. You are exactly what is wrong with our country. Shame on you.

Liz Cheney
Not only are you the daughter of a war criminal whose hands are covered in ME blood, you have drenched your own nepotistic hands in the blood of Kurds. You should be ashamed of your defense of Trump. unAmerican and disgraceful. I will be donating to your opponent in hopes of draining the swamp in DC.

Steve Scalese
Bless Your Heart. Aren't you the little Putin puppet? Your defense of Trump is as dishonest as the day is long. You are a clown and a despicable American. Who else but a clown would invade a high security room where a Congressional investigation was taking place, tweet on an unsecure phone and stuff your face with pizza in front of the entire incredulous nation? Who else but a clown would defend a criminal enterprise like the one Trump is currently running? Not only are you an accessory to high treason, you are a true embarrassment to the state of Louisiana and the people of your district. I will be donating money to your opponent and look forward to your defeat in 2020. You should be ashamed of yourself. Corrupt and unAmerican. You are the very definition of a scalawag.

Devin Nunes
It is hard to take a congressman seriously who sues a damn cow, but as I "have a kindly feeling for idiots" as Mark Twain would say, I will try and keep this short and easy for you to understand. You are a disgrace to the state of California and to the 22nd district. Instead of working for the citizens of your district, you choose to defend a criminal president, traipse around Congress like some sort of reject from "Animal Farm," and otherwise act like a man who should lose his seat in 2020. I will be donating money to your opponent in the hopes that you will be sent packing ASAP. Your actions make you look compromised by the Russians. They praise your name in the bot farms daily. You have turned our country into a laughingstock. Moo. Will you sue me too?

Matt Gaetz
I think Mark Twain must have been thinking of someone just like you when he wrote: "He is, without doubt, the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also, without doubt, he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link." Your disgraceful and unAmerican antics in defending the crimes of the current president has earned you the distinction of being the worst congressman to ever get elected from the most corrupt state in the union. History will remember you as a drunkard, a boor, and an ignoramus. You shame your state and your district, and Americans everywhere will heave a sigh of relief when you are forced to find gainful employment in the private sector. Certainly, there must be a vacancy at Walmart or somewhere else more suited to your abilities. I hope they revoke your license to practice law. I will be contacting the Florida Bar Association to report your violation of USC 1512.


Jim Jordan
Mark Twain once said: "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it." You have apparently failed in both respects. Your behavior in Congress will long be remembered for the levels of corruption exhibited by you and your party as you showed greater allegiance to Putin than your own country. As the president's resident jester, you have made yourself an accessory to his crimes. Witnessing your utter lack of self-awareness as you blather on as spokesperson and primary apologist for this criminal president, you have made yourself and the American people the international butt of jokes. And what have you earned? A chance to sniff the president's golf shorts? I intend to donate money to your opponent in hopes of sending you back to Ohio where you can defend yourself from accusations of being a pervert. In point of fact, Ohio would be better off if you'd move to Indiana where such behavior is tolerated.