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Im a Lucky Motherf*cker. We All Are.
A few words about the sudden intervention of an automobile into my affairsand into my lower back.
BY CHARLES P. PIERCE
DEC 21, 2019
As you may have noticed, the shebeen has been disarranged for the past couple of weeks. The sudden intervention of an automobile into my affairsand, it must be said, into my lower backhas kept me watching the considerable landfill of recent news from the sidelinesoften, I must admit, severely hopped up on goofballs, as Joe Friday would have said. (I got a small glimpse of the opioid crisis from the inside and, let me tell you, the other day, the oxy was whispering to me the way Richard Pryors crack pipe used to talk to him. Motherfcker is strong, Jack.)
I am one lucky motherfcker, Ill tell you that. If I had bounced another foot, I would have bounced into oncoming traffic, which would have complicated matters considerably. My head landed hard, but it landed in a snowbank, which not only cushioned the blow but slowed the bleeding. I was one lucky motherfcker because of the people who surrounded me while I was on the road. The first-aid worker who was first on the scene and called my wife. The nurse who had just come off an overnight shift and who apparently left all the fcks she had to give back in her work locker. Some idiot started honking his horn to get around the scene, and she took a bit of time out to yell, in a wicked pissah Boston accent, Will you shut the fuck up, you arsehole! at him. Nurses, man. They could take over the world in an hour....
And then there were the ward nurses and the nurses aides and the various types of orderlies and technician. At one point or another, I was shuffled around the hospital hallways by a man from Ethiopia, two people from Haiti, and a woman from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Americans all, dammit. Let me tell you about Myosha. Her parents brought her from Haiti when she was very small and now shes in high school. She works six days a week hauling the likes of me around on gurneys, and she was taking me down to get yet another X-ray when I asked her what she wanted to do when she graduated. She wants to be a physicians assistant, Myosha told me, and she wants to work in the ER Trauma unit. Thats tough work, I told her. I was just there. Yes, she told me, and thats where people need help the most. She was disappointed because shed learned that morning that she wouldnt have to work on Christmas Day. I wanted to work that day, she told me. with the old people in the hospital, because they have nobody with them and it is Christmas. Honest to god, if shed sprouted wings and flown me down the hall, I wouldnt have been shocked at all....
These are the some of the things I thought while I was lying alone, in the street and in the hospital. We are all lucky motherfckers, the lot of us, even if sometimes, we cant quite see it. I hear the mail thump. Christmas cards!
Nope. Another inescapable milestone on the road to recovery.
Letters from personal-injury attorneys.
God bless us all, everyone.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a30301196/charles-pierce-accident-dispatch/
ChubbyStar
(3,191 posts)Keep getting stronger you brilliant motherfucker!
crickets
(25,983 posts)lunatica
(53,410 posts)mcar
(42,375 posts)of hope for the country.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Beautiful! Wishing you a speedy recovery and all the best to your angels in the hospital. They are truly amazing people!
blm
(113,094 posts)handmade34
(22,758 posts)much thanks to everyone... we're all in this together folks!!
Hermit-The-Prog
(33,433 posts)When I had a heart attack, there was a swarm of people around me, taking care of me in ways I still don't know enough to fully appreciate. I heard accents I'd never heard before, too.
I'll never know all of their names, but I'm glad they were there.
Yeah, nurses could take over the world in an hour; a minute, if they don't have to save some helpless individual from disaster during the process.
maxsolomon
(33,400 posts)immigrants are the nicest people in America.
dhill926
(16,358 posts)Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)Botany
(70,585 posts)We need you.
Hekate
(90,827 posts)sarge43
(28,945 posts)Speedy recovery.
PoindexterOglethorpe
(25,902 posts)So true. Especially if they had librarians (who are the other unsung heroes and heroines of our culture) helping them.
Michael Moore understands. It was librarians that raised a ruckus with the publisher of his book "Stupid White Men" when they wanted to pulp all of the copies that had been printed but not yet sent out when 9/11 happened and have him rewrite it. He talked about it in New Brunswick, NJ, and a librarian was in the audience. She sent word out to a bunch of other librarians who contacted the publisher. Two days later the publisher called him and said, "I don't know what you did to rile up all the librarians, but we're sending out your book."
Yeah, librarians and nurses. What a better world this would be.
flyingfysh
(1,990 posts)I was in a hospital to have my knee replaced, and was generously supplied with oxycodone (I needed it). The surgery consists of sawing out pieces of bone in my knee joint, and putting in pieces of metal instead. It takes a while for the surgical pain to fade away, but it is completely gone now. When I left the hospital, I was given a prescription for 40 oxycodone tablets; I assume that is considered a lot. My wife said I sounded goofy when I was on high doses.
I had a call button, and if I needed anything at all, a nurse would arrive very quickly to help with whatever the problem was. I complained of pain keeping me awake at 5am, and they brought me 2 oxycodone in less than a minute. That did the trick. The nurses put up with a lot from us patients, since we were unable to do many simple things for ourselves. I was usually connected to a device which kept squeezing my lower legs and was also connected to an IV, so getting up an going anywhere was a problem.
My hospital (New England Baptist) was obviously very well-organized, and was very efficient at taking care of issues. They do only orthopedic surgery, and definitely know what they are doing.
The knee surgery was completely successful, and now I need no more painkillers of any kind.
nini
(16,672 posts)And yes that pain was brutal. Those drugs made me vomit so I had to pretty much gut it out. I'm kinda glad they did.
OMGWTF
(3,976 posts)I set my alarm to listen to Charlie on the Stephanie Miller Show Tuesdays at 7:30 am Pacific Time - https://www.stephaniemiller.com/