'He's Got The Mulan Virus!' Yells Don Jr. Attempting To Quarantine Eric
WASHINGTONKicking and punching his brother in an effort to fight the Germans [sic] that were swarming all over his siblings body, Donald Trump Jr. reportedly yelled, Hes got the Mulan virus! Thursday while attempting to quarantine Eric Trump by duct taping a garbage bag over his brothers head.
Oh my God, ew, ew, ew! Eric, do you have the Mulan Virus? said a horrified Don Jr., who, after sticking his hand into his brothers mouth to take his temperature, screamed and immediately sprayed an antelope [sic] of Lysol down Erics throat.
If you dont fight the Mulan virus soon, you could invest [sic] everyone and start a worldwide academic [sic]. Seriously! Okay, now just stay still while I put a bag over my own head.
At press time, Don Jr. was attempting to create some air holes for his younger brother by repeatedly stabbing the garbage bag with a compass.
https://politics.theonion.com/he-s-got-the-mulan-virus-yells-don-jr-attempting-to-1841516704