Proverbial blessing in disguise has put an end to a nightmare scenario.
Since 2011, when my dad died at age 90, my mom, now 97, has been living alone in Rochester, NY - almost 700 miles away from me (in the greater Chicago area). I am her only surviving child. My younger brother died way too early, at only 23, in a scuba diving adventure that went awry. That was in 1978. She has outlived almost everyone she knows.
For some time, my husband and I have been urging her to move near us, but she wouldn’t hear of it. Fiercely independent and stubborn. Retired nurse. No cognitive decline. Uses an iPad and can text. Refused to get a Life Alert device.
Bad knee arthritis, which hinders her mobility. My nightmare scenario has been her falling down the basement stairs to go do laundry, and no one knowing for days.
Long story as short as possible. She came out to us for her annual Christmas visit. Got here Dec 22nd. She had fallen a few days before her flight, but didn’t tell me about that until she got out here, of course. It took her an hour and a half to get up off the floor. Christmas Day, she started feeling pretty awful, and spent a week in bed. Ended up in the hospital for a week, and then rehab for 3 weeks more, regaining strength.
The blessing in disguise part is that, because the hospitalization happened while she was here visiting, it rather put me in charge of things, and I told her I was not taking her to the airport to go back to NY to live all alone. She accepted this with more grace and good cheer than I expected, and we have found a lovely 55+ independent living community for her, a mere 8 miles from my house. For a flat monthly fee, everything is included - apartment, a luxurious food plan, utilities, TV, WiFi, and a life-alert type device. No stairs. Weekly housekeeping service. No tipping. You can eat in the dining room, or have someone bring food to your apartment. 24/7 soft-serve ice cream. I’d like to move in there myself.
When she protested about not wanting to be a burden, I told her it was much more of a burden to have her so far away and not know what was going on or being able to be of help. I also told her that, seeing as she is 97, we likely do not have that much time left together, so shouldn’t we make the most of what time we do have.
She likes the apartment, and the furniture I picked out, has met another retired nurse, and of course, enjoys seeing me more often than 2-3 times a year. And, she will be able to see my younger son, who lives in Chicago, more than once a year. They are both happy about that.
A huge worry has been lifted from my heart, and it is a relief and a joy to have her safe and close by.
ETA - she was a moderate Republican most of her life, but saw the light starting with Bill Clinton and has voted blue ever since. She can’t quite call herself a Democrat so goes with the Independent label.
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good wishes and vibes to your newly reunited family.
I'm sorry your mom had to go what she went through to realize it was time to make some major changes in her life.
My parents made it to 93 and 94. I actually lived with them and took care of them. But it was easy for me, because I'm not married and I don't have any children.
I am so happy for all of you that she will be close by.
You all just gave yourselves a priceless gift. Time together.
fortunate to have you and I'm sure that she knows that.
I'm so glad that things have worked out for you both. As one who is eyeing the too-rapid approach of my 80s, I am so fortunate to be able to live as independently as I do.
And I realize that every precious day. 
all moms past and present. 
That's a great setup. Cheers to you and your dear Mom! 
