Dear Vlad, please help me. I'm so sad

You know I’ve always done everything you wanted. I undercut NATO, sowed division amongst the western allies, given North Korea a free hand, cancelled the Iranian agreement, withheld aid from Ukraine and turned US Citizens against each other. Now everyone is blaming me for our failed response to the coronavirus and stocks are tanking all over the world. It’s not my fault. I’ve done everything perfect. Please work with Saudi Arabia to cut oil prices and *help the stock market rebound and make me look good. I don’t care if US citizens have to pay more for gas. I’ve heard you are massing troops on the Ukrainian border, please don’t invade because people will blame me, not that I care about Ukraine. I’ve done everything perfect and keep telling everyone that everything is under control and go golfing all the time. What more could I do?

XOXOXOXO. Your faithful servant Donnie do nothing

*oil prices are not the problem