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There are not many cases in our area, one (we know about, it will increase), one in the next.
We are both 70, we do not have children, we will refuse to be put on a ventilator. If we get sick, we will inform family of this.
So many have children and grandchildren who depend on them for help. We do not.
That is just how it is.
If I die from this, I want the cause of death in the obit to be. "Donald Trump is responsible for her death, he was negligent, arrogant and caused many to die". Trust me, if I go first, my husband will do it.
Vinca
(50,276 posts)(I'm 71 and my husband is 73, so we're in the same deadly demographic.) We have to survive to dance on Trump's grave.
OhNo-Really
(3,985 posts)Id rather the younger have them.
So I support your decision
I love the obit idea. Off to write mine just in case.
Until then Its Pony Time (a being older perk: who cares what people say or think about you 😂😂 Freedom)
Link to tweet
MLAA
(17,298 posts)OhNo-Really
(3,985 posts)MLAA
(17,298 posts)Walleye
(31,028 posts)Skittles
(153,169 posts)FIGHT
Chainfire
(17,549 posts)We are doing everything we can to keep isolated, because if we get it we are done. Older Americans may not have the option to choose if the hospitals have inadequate equipment and supplies are flooded with patients. That is how it should be, but it is not very damn comforting.
I planned to die at age 97, from a coronary suffered in a cat house.
MLAA
(17,298 posts)Chainfire
(17,549 posts)And, as my Grandmother would have said, "Bless your heart."
True Blue American
(17,985 posts)I read another obituary! Trust me!
MLAA
(17,298 posts)calimary
(81,304 posts)calimary
(81,304 posts)Husband and I are both enough to be in the at-risk group. Ive had a great life. Lived long enough to use whatever gifts I may have been given for the greater good and to score some satisfying accomplishments. Long enough to see my kids get their own start in life as successful adults. One of ems even procreated. My garden is paying dividends from plantings I put in last year and the year before and all that stuff that was meant to survive the winter did so. It will keep contributing beauty to the neighborhood in the years ahead.
If it all ended today, Id go with gratitude for all that. And knowing that the polar bears and other species that our recklessness and greed and short-sightedness have endangered, still managed to survive - at least beyond me.
Mister Ed
(5,940 posts)I've made sure Mrs. Ed knows that I can't be using a ventilator if it's needed by a child, or a young adult, or a parent of small children.
DENVERPOPS
(8,835 posts)I feel the same way, and have actually had that explicitly added to my DNR......
I pity the Dr's in this country who have to Triage the cases, and who will have to decide who to literally let die, to possibly save someone that has a much better chance of surviving...........
I can also say, that if in any way, I was even remotely connected to the current administration, I would have quit my job the first month Trump was in office.........I would not sell my soul, for any price, like so many of them have so willingly done........Fuck Them All, May They All Rot in Hell along with the voters who agree with him and continue to support him........
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)my father died when I was 10. Save some parents. Children need them.
mgardener
(1,817 posts)We have a living will and our children know our wishes.
Hopefully we would be missed!!
Didn't think about my obit, I just planned on coming back and haunting Trump.
Augiedog
(2,548 posts)CanonRay
(14,104 posts)Except I'm 68.
treestar
(82,383 posts)So I doubt the law would allow for that. Only hopeless cases, as I understand it.
DENVERPOPS
(8,835 posts)In your "Do Not Resuscitate" legal document.......
treestar
(82,383 posts)at least in my state, it only applies in terminal cases.
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)it does not take a coma to put someone on a ventilator. I have seen hopelessly futile patients tormented until the family had to make the horrible decision to discontinue. This of course, is a whole different situation. One that has no precedence.
treestar
(82,383 posts)first - in my state's law and the neighboring state, that's the case. As long as there is hope of recovery, all that can be done is done.
True Blue American
(17,985 posts)Long ago it was my decision. No putting it on family so they would feel guilty.
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)I made sure all concerned understood what they meant.
I would look both the patient and their assigned person in the eye and said "Accepting this responsibility means that you are speaking for the patient when they no longer can speak for themselves. You are not deciding what to do, you are carrying out their decisions."
I cannot count the times I looked people in the face and said "You are supposed to do what mama or daddy said, not what you want".
A surgeon once asked me if I would withhold treatment from a loved one...I responded that I had at their direction and that I slept just fine. My mama said do not put a tube to feed me if I cannot swallow. Do not put me on a machine if I cannot breathe. She had Parkinson's Disease that was no longer responding to medication shipped from the company (the newest thing). She had had multiple small strokes. When she developed lung cancer (never smoked, but lived with my father who did...he died at 50.. and taught in public schools where teacher's lounges were smoke pits), we did not treat it, we kept her home. Her death certificate listed her cause of death as lung cancer due to second hand smoke. She has been gone 29 years this April. I miss her, but I know I did what she wanted.
When she was diagnosed with cancer the doctor started listed things that could be done for treatment. I responded that he was not her Health Care POA, I was and she was not going to be treated so she could suffer longer from Parkinson's. She could not speak and could barely swallow by then.
I know I went on but it seemed necessary to share.
TNNurse...actually, Alice Beth
erronis
(15,296 posts)Knowledgeable and understanding.
I think my partner, my siblings and children all understand my desires.
70+yo, good life, when the time arrives let it go.
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)The hospital attorney (an elderly gentleman) jokingly appointed me his POA once after a discussion in a meeting.
wryter2000
(46,051 posts)On a ventilator. It was endometriosis that became sepsis, leading to ARDS. I came through it, but I was 39 at the time.
UTUSN
(70,706 posts)A "do not resusitate" in a Physician's Directive covers the ventilator, doesn't it?
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)Of course, we have never seen this before.
Will add the family of Dems to mine as well. Thanks.
LaMouffette
(2,036 posts)The selflessness expressed by TNNurse and the other people who have replied to her post has literally brought tears to my eyes. Tears of sorrow for all of you, all of us, for having to even contemplate whether to accept a ventilator for oneself or to sacrifice it for another coronavirus victim who may have more lives depending on her or him or who has more years left to live.
And also, they are tears of outrage because I know that if Trump were infected, he would have no compunctions about demanding that a ventilator be removed from a coronavirus victim of any age and placed on his repulsive mug instead.
Bless you all!
subana
(586 posts)not only should they write it in the obit, they should put it on the headstone too!! It could be read by anyone walking near the grave.
bluescribbler
(2,117 posts)My GF lives in another part of the state, ~135 miles from my home. I am sheltering in place with her. She has a married daughter, no kids, (yet), a step daughter with 2 toddlers, and a nephew with 2 young ones. When my wife was succumbing to cancer, I vowed that, should I get cancer, I would refuse chemo. I feel the same about COVID-19. I've had a good life, knew the love of 2 good women, made many friends inside and outside politics. I am taking every sensible precaution, but if this disease gets me, I'll be ready to go. I'll tell the doctors to save their heroic measures for those who still may have a future.
nini
(16,672 posts)I made sure all my beneficiaries are set etc..
I'm like you.. I don't want a ventilator etc.. The country is going to need the youngsters more than me.. Sad but true.
My mom lived until 93.. I'll be lucky if I make it to 63 the way it's going. Though I am staying home etc.. Fingers crossed.
warmfeet
(3,321 posts)to the orange assholes lack of response. Fuck him and the virus he rode in on. The richest country in the world has to give up on dying citizens due to lack of resources. People are okay with that? Really? It's the right thing to do, but perhaps for unnecessary reasons.
Mr.Bill
(24,300 posts)That alone is reason to fight to stay alive.
appalachiablue
(41,144 posts)magicarpet
(14,155 posts).... You will gum up the voting demographics and leave only FuxNuz geezers to vote more Nazis into the leadership roles of our government.
Soph0571
(9,685 posts)That is a nonsense - you should fight, because fight is all we have
Self isolate and if you have to go out protect yourselves. If you are fit and healthy this shit should not kill you, but refusing a ventilator might.
Here in the UK the 1.5 million most vulnerable will be getting a letter from their doctor this week telling them not to leave the house and they will get food packages etc delivered courtesy of the government to ensure that they are safe. Part of this is to free up the NHS of course, but another part is making sure that all generations survive this. We need your generation, your knowledge, your oral history, as much as we need younger generations. It would be a hollowed out world if our beloved older generation was not with us and I speak as the child of a 76 year old mother.
Just sayin'
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)and go out only as necessary. We are both cancer survivors and have high blood pressure. As retired critical care RNs we know what it takes to survive a serious illness. We do not have a death wish, we are just experienced and know there are limited resources. We are being cautious.
We are not being foolish, just realistic. Many people will die from this. I just want more of them to be parents
sarge43
(28,941 posts)We both have DNRs and medical power of attorney for each other. We both 77 and no one is dependent on us.
So, we both agreed - no ventilator, especially if there are young people with children who need it.
I thinking of "Cause of death: Republican indifference."
/on edit/
On staying alive at all costs. Sometimes the cost is too high.
Hub and I fully intend to vote in November. We both voted for Biden and looking forward to doing it again. However, ...
When you get to your high 70's, the Grim Reaper is standing in the corner, in the shadows, checking his watch. Hub has heart disease; I have COPD. It's quite possible that a ventilator may not be an option. Italy is already triaging the elderly. Further, given our medical conditions, I doubt a ventilator would do much good; just keep us alive{sic} for a few miserable days more.
In short, if we're fated to die, maybe we can make it mean something - like saving another life.
mountain grammy
(26,623 posts)and have left the same instructions for my obituary. My husband feels the same way.
Reagan's negligence led to 10's of thousands of deaths.. the trump virus may top that.
republicans will kill us all...
Hekate
(90,714 posts)JGug1
(320 posts)Well, TNNurse, that is very noble. I still find life exciting and challenging and I'll take a ventilator if needed. I hope desperately that it isn't needed. I'm older than you are.
I intend to live to see this filthy son of a bitch out of office and to lobby for his indictment and prosecution. I can't do that if I'm dead.
procon
(15,805 posts)You can find these DIY legal forms on line, or you can have a lawyer help you decide what you need. At the very least you should have:
An Advance Directive, a written statement of your wishes regarding medical treatment should you be unable to communicate them to a doctor.
A Do Not Resuscitate Order allow you to die a natural death. It says you do not want cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if your heart stops beating. You can also prevent other types of medical intervention.
A Durable Power of Attorney that designates someone to act on your behalf if you are unable to act for yourself.
Lonestarblue
(10,011 posts)All of us need to be around to vote this human manifestation of Satan out of office.
Evolve Dammit
(16,736 posts)That said, let's hope we can all cast a vote in November to kick the Orange Asshole to jail.
slumcamper
(1,606 posts)Liberty Belle
(9,535 posts)Before making this brave decision, have the healthy spouse ask the hospital how many unused ventilators they have. As a nurse can you tell us how long COVID-19 patients are usually on a ventilator?
No need to die if the shortfall is still days away, but it is good to let the hospital know if they face a choice of who to save, you're willing to let someone more in need have one.
I talked to an older friend today who mentioned she would make this decision too, but none of us should have to.
Today in San Diego it's reported that 500 of our 828 ventilators in hospitals are in use, not counting the military hospital.
Ialwaysvote
(10 posts)We need to remember Trump is just the virulent symptom of the disease in the Republican Party.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,196 posts)Pobeka
(4,999 posts)It is far more valuable to this country to have your guaranteed D vote, than to give it up. Please consider this, your value to us extends beyond your age, and if you have blood-related family. Those who come through this pandemic will be *far* better off with sensible government that only D's can provide
The River
(2,615 posts)High risk because of age and COPD.
Low risk due to an isolated lifestyle.
I can wait it out.
Brainfodder
(6,423 posts)It's not a matter of you having to be on it forever, just for the virus effect to pass, in most cases?
Or am I missing something?
One of my parents said this same thing to me directly face to face!
Love the obit plan though?
mushroomhunter
(88 posts)I'm 80 and healthy, husband is 83 and not. I plan to just stay home. No need for us to take up room and endanger the medical staff. I am a retired RN and we have a supply of O2, nebulizer meds, prednisone. I can do no more . I will have that statement about trump published in my obit. thank you for the idea and good luck!
getagrip_already
(14,764 posts)It is highly possible my son and g/f have the virus. They have a lot of the symptoms although minor. It could be something else but the doctors don't want to see them because their symptoms are so mild.
Myself, I've had a few mild symptoms. Occasional fever like feelings but when I take temp it's normal, comes and goes. I have an occasional dry cough and an occasional pain where my lungs are. But all very minor.
I still have my sense of smell, so that is something. My son and g/f were saying they have no appetite and diminished sense of smell.
It's all probably just plague hysteria, but who knows. My brother in NYC almost definitely has it, but so far just a fever and fatigue a week + in.
So yeah, no bubble is perfect.......
JohnnyRingo
(18,636 posts)I'm in my 60s and it was from pneumonia. The last thing I remembered was going through the emergency room doors on a gurney when they put me in a coma. Then I woke up a week later and began my slow recovery. Just sayin', maybe not good to make decisions until the situation presents itself.
Tink41
(537 posts)Been on lockdown since end of January. Maybe 4 instances of social contact since then. Expecting first grandchild, I will not go quietly.
Honestly though I feel that decision will be made by healthcare entity should it come to that.
SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)He has copd. He's afraid to go in. Don't know what to do. He gets these at 6 mo. We're in Crossville, Tn
moonscape
(4,673 posts)I'd call and ask. Here, most medical offices allow (or require) you to wait in your car for a call when they're ready to see you and let in only one person at a time. In his shoes with COPD I'd definitely call and discuss.
Toorich
(391 posts)..... sweet nurse met me outside when I parked. She took my temp and asked if I
was having any problems.(knock on wood-No) She said lab tech would call me on my cellphone
and meet me at the door. two minutes later phone call, she was at the door and three min later blood drawn
I was out the door.
She burst out laughing when I grumbled " this is a helluva lot of trouble for a democrat hoax."
mpreorder
(51 posts)Family can behave strangely sometimes. As a nurse a expect you know that. Good luck...
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)Part of my last job, will reassure we have got that covered.
But, thanks though, everyone needs to know.
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,350 posts)And run a string to a bell above ground. Just in case.
And, bury me with all my toilet paper, just in case.
Finally, nothing should indicate that Trump had anything to do with my death. It would only add to his smirk.
(kidding. I've specified how my unused toilet paper should be given away in my will)
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)The speaker said that though she had ultimate confidence in those who would determine that she was really dead, but just in case she requested a Hershey bar be put in the body bag before it was zipped closed.
KY_EnviroGuy
(14,492 posts)I'm a long way from being completely prepared and feel very helpless not being able to get out and visit an estate attorney, accountant, etc. Hoping to hang on safe until I can get out again. To compound things, I'm still fighting with the paperwork from my wife's passing last fall.
KY (from TN).......
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)I will NOT sacrifice myself for the sake of Wall Street.