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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsPastor Who Refused to Close Church Suggests God Will Help By Multiplying Toilet Rolls
Full title: Conservative Pastor Who Refused to Close Church Amid Coronavirus Pandemic Suggests God Will Help By Multiplying Toilet Rolls
A conservative evangelical pastor has suggested to his followers that God will help multiply their toilet rolls amid the coronavirus pandemic.
In a clip posted to Twitter, pastor Rodney Howard-Browne, leader of the Florida-based Revival Ministries International, told his congregation that this should be a time of supernatural sustenance, where what you have in your hand will multiply.
And every day there will be multiplications, he continued. You look at your toilet paper and you think Im going to run out of toilet paper, but you have another roll where that one was and you dont know how did that even take place.
Howard-Brown added: Are the toilet paper rolls getting together and having families now? What is taking place? When you look again, theres still enough. You think youre going to run out but when you look again theres still enough. Thats supernatural sustenance.
In a clip posted to Twitter, pastor Rodney Howard-Browne, leader of the Florida-based Revival Ministries International, told his congregation that this should be a time of supernatural sustenance, where what you have in your hand will multiply.
And every day there will be multiplications, he continued. You look at your toilet paper and you think Im going to run out of toilet paper, but you have another roll where that one was and you dont know how did that even take place.
Howard-Brown added: Are the toilet paper rolls getting together and having families now? What is taking place? When you look again, theres still enough. You think youre going to run out but when you look again theres still enough. Thats supernatural sustenance.
The rest of the story about this mental defective and his equally mentally-defective followers is here:
https://getaka.co.in/usa-news/conservative-pastor-who-refused-to-close-church-amid-coronavirus-pandemic-suggests-god-will-help-by-multiplying-toilet-rolls/
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Pastor Who Refused to Close Church Suggests God Will Help By Multiplying Toilet Rolls (Original Post)
PSPS
Mar 2020
OP
Jesus fed the multitudes with loaves and fishes. After all that food,
The Velveteen Ocelot
Mar 2020
#3
ProfessorGAC
(65,134 posts)1. Cuckoo!
Train is around the bend in this dude's mind.
marble falls
(57,145 posts)2. Is this the Oni .... oh never mind.
The Magistrate
(95,249 posts)7. That Was My Hope Too, Sir, Seeing The Headline
Alas....
ananda
(28,873 posts)16. My thought exactly. It's not satire.
Too weird.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,806 posts)3. Jesus fed the multitudes with loaves and fishes. After all that food,
why didn't he also provide toilet paper like Pastor Howard-Browne?
Chainfire
(17,587 posts)17. You have a point there
After all those greasy fish your are gonna need some wiping.
If prayers like that were answered, why not cut to the chase and ask for the virus to go away? Sometimes these preachers have their heads so far up their asses, they couldn't use toilet paper if they had it by the truckload.
dhill926
(16,351 posts)4. yeah...that makes sense....
jesus...
gibraltar72
(7,508 posts)5. It's right there in 2 Corinthians.
Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)6. We're counting on you, Jesus!
npk
(3,660 posts)10. OMG!! That is hilarious n/t
leftieNanner
(15,137 posts)8. What's he gonna do?
The little boy toilet papers are going to have sex with the little girl toilet papers?
Isn't that a sin?
love_katz
(2,583 posts)9. Bwhahahaha!
And, add this one for the cretin's actions in refusing to honor the quarantine I know it isn't kind, but if only the virus would restrict itself to taking out Fundy fanatics and wrong wing politicians.
Buckeyeblue
(5,499 posts)11. It's so absurd that there is no room for satire...
malaise
(269,144 posts)12. This deserves a
Holy Shit!
bluestarone
(17,012 posts)13. Something happened to the inner skulls of the religious people
THEY are fucking BRAIN DEAD!
Permanut
(5,621 posts)14. One foot on a banana peel, and the other one in the HooHoo Hotel. n/t
dalton99a
(81,565 posts)15. And paper towels and Clorox wipes and sanitary products