Closeness is hard! We don’t have our normal outlets of separate friends or hobbies!

Dh and I have a largish house so we have enough room to be separate if we want except for meals or sleeping. We work in separate parts of the house. He can go to the basement and work in his shop and I can go outside and work in the yard or upstairs to sew.

It’s been good, I think. He’ll retire before me and I can now see what life in our more feeble 80s will be like!

been together without a break since March 17. But, I swear to gawd, it’s gonna be a murder/suicide pretty soon, and they won’t know which was which.

When we sold the family home (quad level 4 br/2ba) we had plenty of space.


Now our condo is 2 br and 1 bath.

often I can't even shut the door and take a long bath without interruption

They sleep a lot. One of them is really loud when he wants food. Otherwise we're getting along fine.

I've been with her since 1976, but I had no idea she was so impossible to live with until now. I'm sure she thinks worse of me.

...and a monitor...and speakers...

with the same name as one of his stepchildren.

She tends to panic, I virtually never do.
She tends towards hyperbole, I'm sorta pedantically factual.
We have different ideas about risk. I was a competition skydiver, she doesn't like to swim in the ocean (sharks).
I try to let her express her feelings about things without confronting or contradicting her expressions. But then she'll ask me for concurrence and I can't do that, and then the conflict starts.

I'm sure we'll be fine, she thinks this will be the end of us.

to have been working from home for about the past 15 years, years before we'd even met. So, for her and for me, her being home all day is a natural thing. My company, on the other hand, has never really embraced telecommuting, so for me it had remained an elusive dream. That changed two weeks ago when we all got sent packing. So, I took my laptop and set up shop in what was formerly referred to as our "storage room," which happens to be next door to the spare bedroom she uses as her office. So, we're right next door to one another, but have doors by which to isolate ourselves when necessary.

It has been mostly cordial, but, it has been a little straining spending so much time together. So, I don't blame you for expressing those thoughts about your husband. I'm sure you have a lot of company in that regard.

We are grateful to be able to have more time together.

We have separate offices in our house so my wife has her space and I have mine.

I have stepped up my game to cook more and do the dishes to make sure she is chill as her job can be stressful from home. I think we have grown closer as the reality of this virus sets in. I am in a high risk group due to chemo meds and COPD so time is precious to me.

You should not feel bad for expressing your feelings. You have a right to feel the need for alone time. Don't beat yourself up, recognize your a good person and if you can, get outside for even a few minutes maybe it will cheer you up.

Stay well.

When she unlocks the doors.

All of us need space, emotional or physical, at some point to rejuvenate. Botton line, you love him, and saying what you've said does not change that.

P.S. My husband and I have worked from home for close to 30 yrs, and are generally together 24/7 in a small NYC apt. We seem to be yelling at each other more, but we understand, it's the tension of CV19 and all that relates to it.

that makes a lot of sense

Hubster is working from home which is much less stressful for him. He’s not in a mad rush in the morning to get to the bus stop on time and not coming home stressed out from the day and the bus ride home. He can take breaks when he needs to, we eat lunch together, and go for a walk when he’s finished working for the day. It has actually been very pleasant.

OTOH, I am losing my mind having him here all the time. I need a lot of alone time, and it isn’t happening right now. We also have a small house, so it’s hard to get away from each other. And he likes to talk..like never has an unexpressed thought. I like a lot of silence.

We will adjust. When we got married, he was in a band that traveled nationally. He was gone three or four days out of most weeks. It was wonderful. I was happy to see him leave and happy to see him come home. When the band ended and he was home all the time, it took a lot of work from both of us to learn to live together. We managed that, so I think we can manage this.

You try to sort of sneak off somewhere to just be by yourself FOR ONE MINUTE and everyone starts with the “what are you doing? Where are you going? I want to come! What are you doing in here? What are you eating? What is for dinner? What are you watching?
I could use a 10 minute walk by myself. Not gonna happen....

even the dog won't let me use the RR alone

out helping me. Our 40th year, we've learned peaceful coexistence!

So far, she is very content to cuddle up all day and watch chick flix with me!

So glad I have her with me. Such a wonderful addition to my life.

He’s on his four computers, doing meetings, while I’m on my PC working on a cookbook and grocery lists. Both of us have headphones. I updated my playlist.

That is a reference to my own, she knows who she is....

Driving us nuts. I think she wishes we’d leave for a little while. 😂The dog, however, is thrilled.

busy and cooking and working /schooling .
It is what it is
hang in there

They both have been hounding me to feed them earlier and earlier in the morning. I've been getting irritated with the cats when Max climbs on my lap (he's a 25-pound lap cat).

The only time I can get out is to buy food and medicine. I'd like to be able to go to the Y and work out there just to have some no-feline time.

my partner and I worked together 24/7, on the road, living in hotels for 10 years before he retired (I stayed working on the road for 2 more years)...

we worked all the kinks out during those 10 years

now he's pretty dependent on me (for health issues) and we have worked the kinks out...

I just go out and talk to my chickens when I need to

It doesn't mean you love him any less. Just like you I need some time to myself and I haven't gotten much of that these last few weeks. We've done very well for the most part except for today. He was really getting on my nerves. Good natured teasing but I wasn't having it. I'm sure I'll irritate him at some point too. Hang in there.

I have been living the lifestyle for some time now. My hubby has remained very involved with a sport he loves (officiating), but all that is gone, so he's a little blue. My world became pretty small after my working days were done, so it hasn't bothered me as much. I miss being able to hug the grandkids, but in many ways we are fortunate

And both the wife and I are both happy.

My normal policy my dad advised years ago.

“Yes dear”.

We have our own space in the house and share similar interest. I like doing projects for her as they usually make our home more livable or our yard more beautiful.

The more you wonder what the hell you’re doing with them in the first place. I love my wife dearly, would kill or die for her but we’re very different people. We don’t share many common interests, have vastly different senses of humor and have very different ideas on what would be the best way to pass the time. Working different schedules and having a limited amount of time together definitely worked better for us. Honestly, I thought this would be a lot more fun than it is.

one day my mother observed: "I may have taken him for better or worse, but I can't take him all day."

Air Force, United Airlines and then a couple of years with NetJets. I was used to him being gone several days at a time, sometimes just 2 or 3, sometimes a full week. When our sons were preschoolers, it could be pretty stressful sometimes. Overall, though, being a fairly independent type, I was fine with time apart, and viewed his retirement with some trepidation. Most military and airline wives I’ve known have felt the same. After being done with flying, he spent a few years as a barista with Borders, and then with Barnes and Noble, 2-3 days a . He has been home full time for at least 3 years

Our sons are now 30 and 27, so have been out of the house for a while. We have 3 cats, 2 of whom now seem to think they need to eat any time either of us walks thru the kitchen.

Until last week, I was still working - 2 days a week as an NP in a private pediatric office. I was planning to retire sometime next summer or fall. I was hired 23 years and 10 months ago. This past Thursday, I was informed by my boss, and the CEO of the 11 practice consortium to which we belong, that I am furloughed for at least the next 6 weeks. Maybe longer. So, I am unexpectedly home full time. One of my “many-a-truth-is spoken-in-jest” statements about things I like about my job:
- People ask for my advice
- They listen when I give it and usually thank me for it
- They usually follow it
- Sometimes, when I see the family again, they tell me how well the advice worked
- I get paid for giving advice

None of those things happen at home with any regularity -

My husband is a serious model builder, and spends 2 or so hours a night in his hobby shop. He knows I need time to myself. So far, so good.

He varies between pacing like a caged tiger, being depressed and is generally a cranky old man. Can't wait for this to be over. The only time he feels good is when he goes out on a supply run when needed.

He is a sports guy. He doesn't really have any other things that he is into. The lack of sports is making him mental. Fortunately I have the in-law apartment to call my own and get some distance.