Surreal scene at White House daily press conference as military brass insist that, although ...

Surreal scene at White House daily press conference as military brass insist that, although the fight against Covid isn't going well, the US continues to prevail in the War on Drugs. "YOU WILL NOT PENETRATE THIS COUNTRY, DRUGS!"

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Thank you, Mr. President, sir. I'd like to echo the comments of my colleagues here in thanking you for your bold, decisive leadership, and the sterling example you have set for all Americans -- nay, all humans! -- with your sterling character, your steely gaze, your rippling..."

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"And may I add, sir, Mr. President, sir, that personally I thank God every night that we have you leading us in this White House, sir, where you definitely don't spend eight to ten hours a day hate-watching cable TV while you pound down cold Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, sir..."

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"You know I am a big strong macho guy, sir, Mr. President, but even now, basking in your presence, sir, I am so moved by your glories that I am shaking uncontrollably and now, sir, as you can see, I am crying, sir, even though I'm a big macho guy who's never cried before, sir..."

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