argue, it will just make it worse.

our close ties more than ever before. Agree to disagree and move on to other topics. You can always take a pause for now. These things do blow over.

to me losing my family over politics is not worth it.

I don’t understand how anyone can be disgusted with and try to hold trump accountable without holding the awful people who put him in office accountable. He and the republicans have/are destroying our country and democracy. So it seems to me this is about way more than politics. It is also about the 30,000 dead so far. Many of which would be alive if he was a competent or at minimum not a selfish, narcissist, greedy ignoramus. It’s about people not having insurance, it’s about cutting poor children’s access to free lunches etc, way more than politics.

I have relatives who support him, and I choose not to have a relationship with them because they are responsible for him.

eye to eye, as misguided as one might find the other eye. It is after all but a different view, wrong as that view might be.

Yes, people are dying. OP’s sister is not killing them.

What I’ve learnt is to never talk politics with my brothers or sisters, especially when we have complete different views. I don’t know how I was able to persuade my older brother residing in Calabasas to switch to the Democrats. Perhaps, his hatred toward Trump transcends political ideology. He now told me he likes Obama much more than before.

Regarding what happened between you and your sister, I just have this little advice. Blood is thicker than politics. Although I have a different political view from my brothers and sisters, I never allow politics to break us apart. Truly hope you and your sister will make amend.

They continue to support incalculable horrors, and at this stage they are complicit.

I doubt that she will call you back today.

IF she does call (sometime) go ahead and talk to her. See how it goes at that point, and decide what to do depending on how things go.

Don't be hasty. Try to stay cool.

That's got to be tough.

Be conciliatory the next time you talk.

I would just let what you said ferment in her mind.

I respectfully disagree.

if it's a dog.

on an ongoing basis. Especially when it's so one-sided. If they want to talk to someone, tell them to go to therapy, instead of dragging you, an innocent victim of their gutter mouth, into their cesspool.

Obviously we want to have good relationships with family. I have had times with my sister where things were rough and we are actually very aligned politically. Sometimes it is just the family stuff that comes up. I agree that there is a lot of pressure socially to just accept a certain amount of mistreatment because "family" like there is supposed to be a special bond because you all came out of the same vagina. Biologically, yes, family is about biology and genetics. We look like our siblings and parents to a great extent, we carry similar blood and genetic coding in our bodies. Family is also to a great extent, about relationships. If your family treats you like shit, and makes your life miserable, then you have to decide to be a part of the dysfunction or to remove yourself from it. You should not accept mistreatment just to be around your uterus/vagina mates.

Granted, this doesn't appear to be the case with the OP. Sounds like other than the difference (and to me supporting Trump is a pretty significant hurdle) that the OP and her sister had a decent relationship.

I would say to let things blow over but also to really make an explicit agreement not to discuss political issues.

A few years ago, she tried to tell me that torture was ok under some conditions. Even tho study after study after study after study shows it doesn’t work. Even tho it’s a crime against humanity.

I went off on her, also.

We don’t talk anymore. And I’m fine with that.

And that the Ends (not being afraid of Muslims) justify the Means (killing and torturing them).

It's lazy thinking we're fighting.

Really, media I think shares a great deal of the blame for the way people view torture and the acquisition of information. Think about how often it is portrayed that the bad guy "talked" after being roughed up. There was a whole, popular show "24" about Jack Bauer running around beating on people to stop a bomb. I can't even count how many movies and shows I have seen where people get their nails pulled off, or fingers chopped, or beaten. I was watching the Punisher the other day and he "fake tortured" a low level bad guy with a popsicle after telling him how a blowtorch was so hot it felt cold, and he had meat on a skillet (psychological torture) and this was the anti-hero.

We are fighting lazy thinking and popular culture.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm fortunate that there are no Trumpies in my immediate family, but it's another story with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

The ones I still speak to know not to defend Trump in my presence if they want to continue having any contact with me. Anyone who does is cut off, maybe even permanently.

It's such a profound moral failing to continue to support him -- with all that is known, with what he does every day that they can see for themselves on the news -- that I can't justify having a relationship with them. In some cases, the fact that I still spoke to them was enabling their bad behavior -- like, if she still speaks to me, I must not have gone too far yet, so I'll keep at it.

Everyone's got to make this decision for themselves. In my immediate family, I'm the only one who's cut off contact with people. My husband and my sister still are FB friends with them but have unfollowed. I unfriended and blocked.

constantly shrinking circle of friends. They bring it on to themselves by being the way they are, not good listeners, only one-sided, etc. No one misses these kind of people. If anything, one should be happy that you can actually say something ... being that you usually don't get a chance to say a word w/ these people.

distraught than you. Let her calm down and decide what she wants to do next. You did nothing wrong. Even if she was done with the discussion, most adults would just day enough and then change the subject.

The, "but the Democrats...", is a childish excuse. Two wrongs don't make a right, so if she disliked it when Dems did something similar then she must be twice as mad when Trump, her standard bearer, falls short of the high mark expected of him as the grand leader.

If she still condones Trump's behavior then she's caught up in an emotional connection with Trump and there is nothing you can say or do to snap her out of that cult behavior.

Choose your battles carefully. This is one you can't win.

Harsh as it is, the Germans had a saying: "If there’s a Nazi at the table and 10 other people sitting there talking to him, you got a table with 11 Nazis."

Yep, I get it. It's your sister. People we love let disappoint us in horrible ways. However, she has clearly chosen her side and her path. That side is supporting the annihilation of our constitution, a wannabe dictator, mass slaughter by disease, and destruction of the livelihoods of a huge swath of the American people. It's horrifying, it's shocking, and it's nothing you can change at this moment. But you also don't have to accept it. She rejected what you have to say as a patriot and concerned brother in anger. You don't need to be the one crawling back and apologizing for saying it.

but she didn't. She chose instead, to hang up on you. Really nice, eh? I have others that I ignore, when in the past, constantly talking about rump, and I refused to engage w/ them further on that chain of topic.

I finally had one friend admitted to me that yes, I was right in that rump's gutter mouth is uncalled for, and that he needs to shut up and get the job done, instead of whining and mouthing off about everybody else.

rump is covering up his gross incompetence...that's why he keeps jumping all over the map and no one can pinpoint him down on anything, other than the fact he's just plain incompetent, dumb, and ignorant.

I wouldn't worry about your sister. She did hang up on you, and told you in quite clearly what she thought of your opinion, even though you were nice enough to listen to hers. I guess it's a one way street w/ her, it's all about her and nothing else.

Sad, but hey, lots of us are going through idiot family members and friends like this, and reevaluating friendships and family ties. Its really a good thing, after all, you do want to associate w/ those who are like you, have their common sense and/or wits about them, and aren't stupid enough to kill everybody around them doing idiotic things such as ending the stay at homes earlier than need be (and then going and getting sick, etc.).

I'm not to say good luck to you, you already did the brave thing by listening to her side, and then when you tried to bring up your side, didn't go anywhere, because she didn't want to listen to you and hung up on you. Nice. And it's kind of unfair. She's a fair weather friend (if you have ever heard of this saying), that she'll only listen to one side of the conversation, be forward w/ you up to a point, and then, WHAM when things turn negative. Not the fair weather friend one needs.

After all, we're all just strangers to your family.

But I wouldn't give a shit. They're making excuses for his behavior and in this case, pretty much calling for insurrection, is inexcusable.

Don’t take or return calls from her.

.

There is nothing in the Bible that supports the "Right to Life" position. In fact, there are multiple entries that support abortion and the insignificance of the fetus. There are generally two defenses, the two men fighting and the eye for an eye, which doesn't really say what happens to the fetus, and the other is that dust or the earth blows up and forms the fetus (since Bronze-Age people did not know how reproduction worked) and that God knows their names before birth. Well, God also kills pregnant woman and causes fetuses to die so just because it is a fetus does not guarantee it's right to birth. BTW, the Bible states that life starts upon first breath. There is the passage that if a pregnancy is due to an affair that abortion drugs can be given, and multiple passages that cite the accidental cause of death of a fetus is met with just a fine.

The "Right to Life" position is just a control and fleecing mechanism churches use on their sheep.

.

has she tried not having one?

We do not talk politics. Not a word. Nothing. We talk about the kids, our mother, and the weather. And we’re both very happy about that.

And gop/republicans care about life--they are f#@@$@g hypocrites! Where is their outrage on how malevolent in WH is handling panedmic, his failed response to saving lives?

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/&ved=2ahUKEwi2gOq6y_DoAhUCITQIHb1UBw4QFjAAegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw3VjHUtiyFN9VkDZTZswkxH

Go back to getting along like before and just ignore what happened.

Your family scenario is being repeated all across the country. Don’t let Trump be the cause for a family rift.

Cut her off.

very different life experiences. Our perceptions are based on our own realities, where we have lived, the world(s) we've seen, the people we've known. I know her world, and couldn't possibly exist in it. She can't imagine where I've been. She is a proud Democrat, but let's just say some of her views I find ugly. I try to zone out, and not react, when her words hit me like darts. There's no point in my trying to force her to see something she can't, or doesn't want to see. I want to be all about being kind. We've never actually lived together, but she's the only family I have ever had. My advice...chill out, and think.

You are not wrong. Our country is in a deep crisis right now with this person in control. Do not doubt. Be glad you spoke this truth to your sister.

and a plaster a vote blue bumper sticker on her car and then call her and tell her to fuck off and not talk to me ever again. In 1980 my asshole in-laws loved Reagan, we got into a big fight about it and they have never seen their grand children or great grand children because we told our kids they were dead

could be a last one.

I think I would send a text. Something along the lines: "love you. lets not let more than a few days pass to talk - and go back to our attempt to not dwell on politics in our conversation. Our relationship is important. But maybe letting a few days pass can let us cool our heels/emotions."

You weren't wrong. But, especially during a crisis period like this, close relationships are very important. There may not be a two months (or longer) later standownish reconciliation. Just frame it in away that neither has to be "right" or "wrong"- nor make such a concessions - to reconnect.

If this were a friend (not extremely close) I would have a completely different response, as I would if this were a toxic relative (per the overall relationship is abusive) - but this doesn't sound like either case.

I definitely wouldn't let it come between me and a family member.

Relationships are a two-way street, and should not be controlling. I have a cousin, we are polar opposites, politically and in every other way. She pulled the preacher thing on me, I said I'm an FDR Democrat, let's not talk politics. We get along when we see each other which is not often. I limit myself to subtle veiled references to issues, to undermine her rigid thoughts.

I don’t care who it is, treason, misogyny, graft, theft are not acceptable. Hypocrite abortion voting fu*ks. Fu*k those willfully stupid fu*ks.

I have booted family in case you’re wondering....

We are among the worst 13 countries (out of 195) in the world in terms of Covid-19 death rate (deaths per 1 Million population). Because of Trump's incompetence. We're at 113 dead per million, while South Korea is at only 4 per million.
https://www.realclearpolitics.com/coronavirus/

If she is so pro life, why is she still defending this mass murderer?

My parents and grandparents both rolled over in their graves. Republicanism is the antithesis to the values that we were brought up with..

You said that she is very bright. She isn't very bright. Back in the day when abortion was illegal, women and girls who had the money got illegal but safe abortions. The poor women and girls died with a hanger through their cervices. You cannot stop abortion by making it illegal again. The same thing will happen. Fuck her and the horse she rode in on.

Blood is thicker than water. No matter what your sister believes she is just one person. Whatever she thinks will have no effect on Trump one way or the other.

He is a die-hard Trump apologist. I can't for the life of me understand where the hell it comes from or why. We are of Mexican descent and are middle class, hard working people. (I mention Mexican descent because I can't belieeeeeve the stupid wall alone doesn't appall him... apparently not.)

Anyway, we were talking over a couple beers one night a few months ago and got on the subject of Medicare for all. I expressed the viewpoint that healthcare should be a right, not a privilege. He started rambling on about "socialism" and how he didn't want to have to pay for everyone else. I pointed out to him that he, himself, has benefited from "socialism" as he has had 3 or 4 surgeries in the last year and the hospital wrote off his debt due to financial hardship. I reminded him that the rest of us just paid for him.

Well, he snapped. Totally lost his shit. Started screaming at me, saying he couldn't BELIEVE I "threw that in his face." I kept trying to tell him that everyone falls on hard times at some point and that that was exactly my point. Anyway, he stormed out on me.

I let time pass and he ended up calling me. We acted like nothing happened, which is fine with me. I did tell him later, though, that we are NOT going to discuss politics. EVER. He is my brother and I love him.

The way I look at it is that we - all of us - have already lost so, so much because of that asshat Trump. I refuse to lose a member of my family as well. I refuse to give that bastard THAT. MUCH. POWER.

Since mid Nov. 2016. I've missed nothing. She's missed a lot.

I don't want to know their politics, nor do I care. I hope for the same from them. Trying to force someone to defend "their side" sounds horrendous to me.

Life is too short. You have had a good relationship. She or you could be gone tomorrow. Do you really want to leave it in anger?

My parents fifty-eight years ago when they discovered I was an Atheist, and the younger brother three years ago. My support for Black Lives Matter was the last straw for him. There is a reason I have lived 3000 miles away from them for the last 37 years and away from “home” for 54 years.
I want to take this moment to thank them for rejecting me at an early age, it made me strong.

My wife and I raised our children to love and respect everyone and we have wonderful Asian and African and Irish grandchildren and in laws. All my children and grandchildren live within twenty miles of us.