A speech for DU and all Democrats, Liberals, and Progressives:

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won an election by losing for his party. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard lose for his party. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about Democrats not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the voting booth, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to vote. All real Americans love the sting of the election season. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Democrats love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Democrats play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to real Americans.

Now, a political party is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and technology, the best spirit and the best people in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to beat the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the voting machines.

Now, some of you folks, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Republicans are the enemy. Wade into them. You'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any e-mails saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Right-wingers do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you folks will be able to say when you get back home the day after the election. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great campaign of 2012, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be
proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all.


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Heavily edited from the opening monologue of 'Patton'...give credit where credit is due.