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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCity Enters Phase 4 Of Pretending Coronavirus Over
https://local.theonion.com/city-enters-phase-4-of-pretending-coronavirus-over-1844037065
Today 8:27AM
DALLASSaying the city remained on track for progressing into the final stage, Mayor Eric Johnson told Dallas residents Friday that they would soon officially be entering Phase 4 of pretending the coronavirus was over. Thanks to the efforts of municipal employees, Im happy to say weve reached the final phases of completely deluding ourselves into thinking that this pandemic has somehow stopped spreading and that were safe, said Johnson in a press conference, in which he applauded the city for bringing them to this stage by successfully disregarding the virus in previous phases. In order for this to be effective, however, were instituting guidelines requiring all residents to convince themselves that they can no longer contract or spread this disease, and that despite virtually no changes in the situation, we will no longer need to use hand sanitizers or observe social distancing. Phase 4 will also need all of you to start going into restaurants and stores without masks and pretending that this is endangering absolutely no one. Thank you all.
</snip>
Today 8:27AM
DALLASSaying the city remained on track for progressing into the final stage, Mayor Eric Johnson told Dallas residents Friday that they would soon officially be entering Phase 4 of pretending the coronavirus was over. Thanks to the efforts of municipal employees, Im happy to say weve reached the final phases of completely deluding ourselves into thinking that this pandemic has somehow stopped spreading and that were safe, said Johnson in a press conference, in which he applauded the city for bringing them to this stage by successfully disregarding the virus in previous phases. In order for this to be effective, however, were instituting guidelines requiring all residents to convince themselves that they can no longer contract or spread this disease, and that despite virtually no changes in the situation, we will no longer need to use hand sanitizers or observe social distancing. Phase 4 will also need all of you to start going into restaurants and stores without masks and pretending that this is endangering absolutely no one. Thank you all.
</snip>
Sometimes, The Onion's headlines are more accurate than the real ones.
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City Enters Phase 4 Of Pretending Coronavirus Over (Original Post)
Dennis Donovan
Jun 2020
OP
An aside... They say one's BMI is the most important indicator of surviving a COVID infection.
Hugin
Jun 2020
#1
All somewhat funny, but the reality is that Mayor Johnson is a Democrat
Liberal In Texas
Jun 2020
#3
Hugin
(33,207 posts)1. An aside... They say one's BMI is the most important indicator of surviving a COVID infection.
I'm just going to leave this here.
louis-t
(23,297 posts)2. I was thinking 'Borowitz' but either way.
It really is getting hard to tell which are satire anymore.
Liberal In Texas
(13,580 posts)3. All somewhat funny, but the reality is that Mayor Johnson is a Democrat
who would never say such idiotic things. The large cities in Texas were forced to reopen earlier than what their local governments had planned by the state: Gov. Abbott.
Backseat Driver
(4,399 posts)4. Yup, there's a lot to be sarcastically communicated about
the ways in which epidemic "conflict avoidance" and "silent complicity in a herd immunity/mentality" play out in our national issues these days.
SMH some more and more often every day when well deserved mocking humor from The Onion can initiate the wry chuckles and/or belly laughs. Is that naughty???
Mike 03
(16,616 posts)5. The stuffed bear in the background at least has sense enough to
wear a mask.
Fozzledick
(3,860 posts)6. The Four Stage Strategy.
"
Nitram
(22,892 posts)7. Conservatives have been using this ploy for thousands of years.