I'm a guest, not the host.

It's my besties sister so I'll message her and ask

Second, if they were serious about masks and social distancing, she would have said something on the invite about that, but apparently didn't. Strike Two.

Third, at events involving food and drink, if they are serious about Covid precautions, everyone is told to bring their own everything -- own food, own plates, own drink, own glasses, everything. No potluck. No sharing. None. Strike Three.

Yeah people touching the plates in the food and bringing stuff that's all yeah forget it

Good point.

Even if folks wear masks and socially distance, this alone kills the idea. Figuratively and literally speaking, I guess.

are going to be wearing masks and social distancing, if not kindly refuse and say see you next year. Hopefully we will have a vaccine.

Outdoors is more do-able. You can keep your distance from everyone (and leave as soon as you have finished your burger!).

Otherwise I wouldn't have considered it

Gut says don't take a chance. Head says don't blow off said best friend

I read within the last 24 hours that doctors are seeing problems/damage in the brains of people who had Covid but one of the first symptoms that most people don't know is diarrhea. 50/50

would be the same reason you wouldn't go to similar thing no matter who it's held for ?

doing whatever they want. Whoever goes would probably be a high risk to be around.

Very hard to tell people who walk up to you 3 feet away maskless and starts talking to you that they must maintain distance wear mask etc. I guarantee there will be plenty of them. So many people are just so damn obtuse. I just don't see any plus in this. The U.S. has 77% more cases than 2 1/2 weeks ago (7 day moving average), so its obviously not over with.

Your best friend will completely, thoroughly, and fully understand, or she/he is not a friend, best or otherwise, and if that's the case, it's high time to quit jiving yourself.

Even if I was not in a high risk category, I would most likely not go, especially if alcohol was being served. I would not want to be a person at an event that has to remind people that they are getting a little too close as their inhibitions lower, nor would I want to be the mask police.

You would have to judge based on your own personal risk level, and how much you trust the attendees to do the right thing.

Good luck.

politely turndown their kind invite during a pandemic 💕

do it politely. If there are many there who refuse to be responsible, leave.

And it’s outdoors. And while I have not said this to him, I’m offended to even be put in the position of having to decline. The event shouldn’t be happening. It’s not just Trump folks who don’t get it.

^^^^^^^^^

But not only thing I work in the public every day. I'd put them at risk just as much

My wife and I are doing a road trip staying at a rental property for a few days. The owners are doing 48 hours between rentals and seem to have it together. We’ll disinfect the house for good measure when we get there and are bringing our own food. The house has a pool so we won’t leave for the entire three days effectively creating a bubble. I don’t understand why they just can’t do the same, though I suspect it’s a combo of not wanting to spend the money and their love of entertaining. Either way, it’s not the right time. We’re in a hot spot state. It sucks not to be there but I’ve read too many stories about these little gatherings turning into spread events. No one ever thinks it’ll happen to them. Anyway thanks for the thread topic. It allowed me to vent.

Hopefully things will work out and you guys enjoy your time

The virus is not spread on things. It's spread in the air. You need to be fairly close to someone who has the virus.

That said, only do what you are comfortable with.

That doesn't mean this virus doesn't spread on things.

less need to vent and lower blood pressure with you didn’t feel the need to tell your friends how to run their lives.

My blood pressure is fine. The bottom line is that in a hot spot state they shouldn’t be inviting 50 people to their house for a party. Seems like basic common sense to me. Do you relate to the anti mask crowd on some level as well?

I feel the same way.

There's always someone that feels they need to be right next to you to tell you something.

Like I said I work in the public and I can put them at risk

Outdoors is good. In house, the virus would be on anything you may touch not to mention air. Especially if there are a lot of people in that house with you not allowing space. Hot so I cannot imagine you will be spending all the time outside.

I wouldn't but that is me. I would talk myself out before I got there even if I wanted to go.

It was extremely difficult to avoid people getting too close. It's your call, just warning you that you will probably want to stay away from people for a week or so afterwards.

for me to take. It's's your choice though to decide if its important enough to be worth the risk. I tell myself that as long as I stay healthy I'll have plenty of time in the future to make up for all the things I miss now.

In theory, everyone is supposed to wear masks (the invitation was clear), and we'll be outside.

That said, I know one of the people likely to show up (my nephew) has been very adamant about not wearing masks.

I did say a very quick "no" to my brother-in-law for soup at his house this weekend. Very small house, very poor ventilation, there are typically~30 people in two rooms, falling all over each other.

And we are having an out-of-state friend over on Tuesday - and my spouse has promised not to let the friend in the house (This is after the last fiasco when I came home to encounter two of her friends sitting in the family room. I barely avoided hostility when I was introduced to them, wore my mask until long after they left, then disinfected everything . . . the excuse that time was that the deck was too hot. She knew I was pissed.)

The risk of it infecting ones eyes is rarely mentioned lately,
but when people get wind they can profit, we'll hear about it more.

Steampunk anyone? https://amzn.to/3ifRxpY



Photo credit: https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-man-wearing-steampunk-glasses-118027165.html

The last two visits to the dentist that involved aerosolized droplets (one pre-COVID, one post COVID) the Dentist/endodontist required either goggles or my own glasses.

The only time I don't wear my glasses is when I ride my bike (I'm far-sighted and can still pass the driver's license text, but my focal point is now across the room somewhere so I need them for that mid-range distance as well and stopped taking them off when I wasn't reading about a decade ago.)

Maybe we'll start to discover who really has perfect vision, and who is wearing contacts . . .

Has it been documented?

Eyes, nose and mouth is what we have been told that infection can enter by.

Seriously, the main transmission route is through particles from the nose and mouth. Which is why the dry cough associated with this virus is suspect. Meanwhile, if you are out somewhere, such as in a restaurant, and someone is coughing, you need to leave.

Meanwhile, keep in mind that this virus is only moderately easy to get. If you are out in a group of people close together, no one is wearing a mask, and you are all shoulder to shoulder, then you are at risk. But if you are at least six feet apart, not so much.

Which brings me back to the question of how eye contact can transmit this virus? Really? Can you give me some statistics here?

protection as a result.

it over here too.

A bit of googling gives this

How can the coronavirus affect your eyes?
Coronavirus can spread through the eyes, just as it does through the mouth or nose. When someone who has coronavirus coughs, sneezes, or talks, virus particles can spray from their mouth or nose onto your face. You are likely to breathe these tiny droplets in through your mouth or nose. But the droplets can also enter your body through your eyes. You can also become infected by touching your eyes after touching something that has the virus on it.

It might be possible for coronavirus to cause a pink eye infection (conjunctivitis), but this is rare. If you have pink eye, don’t panic. Simply call your ophthalmologist to let them know and follow their instructions for care. Keep in mind that whether pink eye is caused by a virus or bacteria, it can spread if someone touches that sticky or runny discharge from the eyes, or touches objects contaminated by the discharge. Wash and sanitize your hands frequently, and do not share towels, cups or utensils with others.

Worth a try...

And won't be able to wear a mask the whole time. Even with social distancing, I think it's a risk. That's just me. I vote no.

you aren't wearing a mask, and neither are your friends at the BBQ.

Save it for next summer.

your mom as well since you will not know whether any of the people at the party are asymptomatic carriers and you are likely to be exposed to them at a distance of less than 6 ft. for over 15 minutes.

Here is CDC guidelines link-- have a look-see
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/php/public-health-recommendations.html

Due to the dramatic upward curve in Texas, hopefully your best friend will consider you to be caring and thoughtful if you decline.

This has been going on for a couple of weeks now, and I am starting to feel both churlish and lonely, sitting here at home. My husband and I are invited to all these events, but we keep saying no, thank you. My SIL did suggest at one point that I could come in my mask, but with all the hugging and little kids and all, that would just feel weird.

Oh, and I have not mentioned this before, but a couple of weeks ago the 16 yo flew off to Austin because she missed her high school boyfriend so badly. Her dad flew out and fetched her back, but I pray to God all of them will be okay.

You are doing the right thing. I'm sincerely sorry about your 16 year old, and hope that nothing bad is a consequence of her flying off.

I am getting out of the house for groceries, and now catching up on med appointments. The mammogram experience reminded me of just how intimate that experience is (she and I were both masked, as required, but I could tell she'd had a little garlic for lunch as our heads were close together).

Tomorrow I'll get my first haircut in 6 months. The stylist texted me the protocol, and I was impressed with how thorough the precautions are in that shop.

The girl is my SIL's grandkid.

It bites to stay in and it bites to go out. Life just bites right now!

enjoyed getting the smoker going and having a couple cold ones with friends, but this is probably the absolute worst time to be having a social event that I can recall in my lifetime. I guess that means I vote no.....

Small wedding 15-25 people but there's no such thing as a small gathering these days. I am friends with her and don't know him. Apparently he is a stubborn type who had already spent plenty of money and didn't want to move the date. Then the photographer canceled yesterday because she also works in a clinic, and that clinic had positive test results so now she is under quarantine.

As a result of the photographer bailing the couple moved the wedding to August 8th. That's still too soon. Along with gift giving I would like to visit and congratulate them by myself a day or two beforehand, and otherwise avoid the risks of the wedding.

a couple or so days ago. I am so glad this happened. I'm a peripheral person here, and I will again repeat I'm happy about this wedding.

In the previous world I would probably have been invited to the wedding. Alas, in the current world, I was not. Sigh. We are already living in a vastly different world from the one of three months ago.

Why the first of August? Because I expect many social distancing lapses on the Fourth of July. If there are any Republicans planning to attend that barbecue, I would not attend.

For Covid-19 reasons alone.

Besides that, personally speaking, I am seriously not sure how "Independent" we are at the moment. I might celebrate next year's Independence Day, though, when the Traitorous Orange Blob-in-Chief is no longer betraying our country on an hourly basis to Putin and the Confederacy after Joe defeats him resoundingly on November 3. There's nothing to celebrate at the moment, IMHO.

So at some point everybody is going to have to take their masks off (assuming they wore any to begin with).

Maybe because I read too many stories how nearly everybody got infected at some small party/gathering.

Does it allow that number of people together yet? Is it a state in denial? Or a state that can justify relaxing the restrictions?

With COVID19, I would say use your judgment and don't worry about what the others think.

turning it down considering the circumstances ?

What I'd say: "I'd love to, but Covid really frightens me. Next year, I hope things will be different. Please take a lot of photos and post them online. Do you have Facetime? Could you do a live Facebook post? Give my love to everyone!"

are exceptional times. I think to protect ourselves and for the public good, changes in previous behavior are absolutely necessary.,

No matter how well intentioned it is, these appear to be exactly the types of events that the virus loves.
I'd personally take a pass.

Even young healthy people are dying from this or coming through it with serious lasting health problems. I think it's irresponsible of them to have it, honestly. Make plans for curbside takeout and streaming movies. Then you can tell your friend you already have plans.

nearly everybody getting infected from some party. Parties, bars, churches appear to be main driving force for spreading covid right now.

We all are itching to be with friends. In fact, I am going this afternoon to see my best friend, whom I haven't seen since February. We will sit outside on her deck--and yes, wear masks-- and keep our distance.

I had planned to do an errand, too. Stop at Staples and get printer ink. I just now thought, that's not smart. Checked whether I could get it on-line and discovered I could buy the 2 pack of black ink for the same price I'd pay at Staples and they will deliver with no shipping charge. Ordered. Done.

I live in NC where our numbers are not going the right way. I figure I'd better continue to minimize interactions. I still only go to the grocery store once every two weeks. Still no haircut since February. For now, until the numbers here have been declining for a couple of weeks, I will continue to stay in as much as possible.

I am so glad to be going to see my friend, though.

Only you can decide what to do.

Sit apart, you can still have a conversation. It is the new normal.

The more people make rationalizations that this "one time" will be ok, the risk is low, the more it becomes acceptable for other individuals to join in that behaviour. It is the sum total of all these little rationalizations that are causing the infections to surge.

I live in WA, and on my block, which is solid DEM, in the past week there have been three households out of 12, that have had parties, every one mentioned that the risk is low, they haven't seen relatives in so long, and that makes it ok in their minds.

I see this and it is no wonder that we are almost back to new case levels that had originally peaked on Apr 1.

We need to get back to social norms where group gatherings are not acceptable until the cases are extremely low, not just kind of low.

Mean I guess?

With her to Texas from OR because she didn’t want to fly. She has family in Austin and knows my daughter is in San Antonio. She also knows I have been asking for years for us to do road trip.

So great ask me now! I said no because of hotels, eating out and all the cases in Texas. My daughter when she heard said, don’t come now mom our mayor sent out alert yesterday to stay home unless you have to go out because hospital beds are full.

But like you even though I had a great reason for saying no I still wanted to say yes.

I missed the family's Fathers Day get together. I have quarantined. They did not. Some had to work, teens were visiting friends, dad was out every chance he got, driving him nuts to be cooped up. I don't trust other people, felt like being with family would give me a false sense of security.
Just last night I was reading 15 epidemiologists opinions, on when they would do certain social activities. I almost had a panic attack after reading their thoughts. I came away with it will be at least a year, year and a half until we can do bare minimum of socializing.

a couple of days before the party message them that you were contacted by the health department and you were close enough to another person who now has tested positive and you are self-quarantined for 14 days.

bring their own food.

I've decided against it. I told her I just don't want to risk it and that I work in the public, I'm not risking others either. Plus I don't trust people not to containment the food.

comfortable going. We’re having July 4th. We don’t wear masks at home, but we do social distance when guests are around. We’ll be outside and will understand if you want to sit 10 feet away. Or wear a mask. When I ask people, I state upfront that if they are uncomfortable going out that will be understood. We don’t tell other people what to do, they don’t tell us.

I sure wouldn't.

Florida was doing a decent job till our stupid governor opened up the bars and restaurants to crowded inside eating.

I generally feel very safe outdoors as long as I can distance.

Because they asked me to bring stuff to fire off into the night sky.

The whole reason for the lockdown was to get used to living differently. There is no way all Americans can stay in their homes until we have a vaccine.

We can be with others safely. The problem is too many people don’t even try.

You’ll need them around July 20.

I hope not, some of those people are little kids

It’s their grandparents who are the most at risk.

So I went to my 4th of July that was advertised as:

1. masks mandatory
2. Social distancing
3. family only

As to 1: I was the only person consistently wearing a mask. My nephew wore one on his face for the first part of the party; thereafter he wore it as a bracelet. My spouse wore one for the first part of the party. My sister-in-law wore one until she asked the first group of people she asked told her they didn't have the virus. I wore mine except for downing a beverage as quickly as I could & eating a quick burger.

As to 2: I stayed near the edges, and maintained 4' at all times from everyone else; 6' most of the time, and it was outdoors. Pool loaded with kids, chairs about 1' apart, 6-10 kids bouncing on a trampoline.

As to 3: I counted 50 people there at one point. 11 were relatives of mine. Some of the others were relatives on the host's spouse's side of the family (realistic, but not the usual definition of family for this crew). But more (as near as I can tell) were friends. I didn't investigate much.

I'm relatively confident I am safe. Less so my spouse (but I haven't been able to shake any sense in her - her behavior is at least moderated from what it would be if I wasn't constantly reminding her to distance and wear a mask). I can only control what I can control. Whatever my oblivious spouse and my barista daughter bring home I will potentially be exposed to. So I try to control my personal risk as much as I can.

Kicker 1: I have a niece who is getting married in August/September. The bridal shower is mid-August - the meal will be plated rather than buffet, but we'll be seated 8/table - but it's OK because the tables will be 8' apart. My spouse has RSVPd that she is going. I told my sister-in-law that I would tell her closer to the date. Likely not.

Kicker 2: The person hosting the shower is the sister-in-law who took her mask off today when the first person she asked told her they didn't have the coronavirus. She is flying from Ohio to Seattle on Saturday to spend a week with her grandson and new great-grandchild. Coming back roughly 2-3 weeks ahead of the shower.

At least when I stay home from the shower and wedding I won't be the only one. My spouse is one of 7. Only 5 showed up today and, of the spouses, I was the only one. Only 4 (out of 14) in the generation of the bride showed up today.