Winning of hearts and minds

Some time back I posted a link to an article about how do deal with political extremism in conversations

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100213594709

Well, I have been using the tactics taught in the article and have been reading the book "How to Have Impossible Conversations" Now I will say that author says that the tactics and techniques he teaches don't translate to social media. On that point, I don't agree and I think that perhaps the author's social media skills may be more the issue. In any event, I have been reading the practicing the techniques and I have been amazed how effective they can be, in terms of winning hearts and minds or at least sowing the seeds of doubt.

A little background on the Facebook exchange below (I removed all last names for privacy). I am a member of a squad and this exchange took place on a post by the squad informing everyone of Governor's Murphy's new rule requiring outdoor masks. There were three negative responses but I picked hers because she said more than just "no" and looking at her profile she didn't seem like a bad person.

I employed many of the book's techniques from demonstrating I am listening by summing up what they said. To avoid smacking them with facts, to modeling the behavior I want to see in others, to learning her mindset, and asking questions that can sow seeds of doubt (this technique isn't intended for people trying to force their views on other but more like getting the other person to discover for themselves the error of their ways (so to speak). I will say the links I received on the responses were pretty impressive and included the person I had picked to engage.



Robin- No way! If you're scared to go out, stay home.

Richard- Why do you oppose this rule?

Robin -For many reasons. It's challenging for someone with certain health conditions to wear these all the time. I struggle immensely and in this heat it's 10 times worse. And I have read that those that have breathing issues should not wear masks all the time. You are breathing in your own carbon dioxide. On top of so many other reasons, the fact alone that people are tossing them on the ground and not disposing of them correctly goes to show you it will only get worse if this is an everyday, mandatory requirement. Not only disgusting but unsafe for our environment. I will not allow someone else to take away from freedom of choice to not have to wear a mask.

Richard - So as I understand it, you have 3 issues with masks- 1) You are worried about people with medical issues who might be harmed by masks 2) You are concerned about the trash 3) you feel requiring a mask infringes upon your freedom. It has been seen in studies and real-world examples that the fastest way to safely reopen the economy is for the population to use masks. Assuming you want the economy to open as quickly and safety as possible what do you propose as an alternative to masks?

Robin- well certainly masks have not always proven to keep people from getting this virus because I know people that have gotten it and have worn their masks out in public and even in their own cars so not really sure they are as effective as these medical "experts" claim. I do not believe they are necessary, that is my opinion and it is a choice if I want to wear one. If I felt I exposed myself to this virus or I knew I had any kind of symptoms or I tested positive, I would not go around and put anyone in danger. That is just common sense. That goes for anyone that gets the common cold or flu. This is all a political stunt and there are many others that feel this way to. So I'm just curious, I see other people posted that they refuse to mandate the mask but you didn't question them, why me?

Richard- You are correct, much like the bulletproof vest that police wear, a mask won't stop everyone from being infected (it has a 70% success rate if everyone wears one though) I commend you for not wanting to get others sick. An interesting thing about the virus is you are infectious for 2 days before you get sick. So how do you know if you were exposed or if you were spreading the virus if people can spread it before they know they are sick? Here is another interesting thing about masks (or at least the basic ones), wearing one protects others more than it protects yourself (I suggest a KN-95 if you want something better). Given that the protection is afforded to others and not the wearer, do you think that people are wearing them out of fear? As to your question, this sort of discussion can be time-consuming and draining (at least for me), so I wasn't going to have the same discussion 3 times. You posted more thoughts on the matter than the others, so I thought you had given this topic more thought.

Robin- well I actually can appreciate when someone comments back on my post and can have an agree to disagree stance or provide me with legitimate facts on saving someone from getting the virus, protecting ones self and others, etc. I am still a strong minded person when it comes to not having to wear one if I'm outside and no surrounding myself to people who may be at risk and I still stand by not being able to breathe in one, my struggle is different from others so it's a preference I have. I will absolutely respect the rules that are in place that masks are required in stores but I will not wear one walking my dog, riding a bike, walking with my kids or just sitting in my yard. And I certainly appreciate the approach you have taken with me where you didn't attack me like some other keyboard warriors have and called me degrading names or spoke to me harshly and said I am clueless to this whole situation. Unfortunately I have known people that have suffered from this virus and though I cannot say I had a family/friend in a hospital when this was going on, I did have friends who shared their experiences with me and I know it's real. There are just some things I wish I understood better and why we seemed so unprepared for this.

Richard- Thank you for your kind words and your willingness to discuss this as well as your thoughtful and respectful responses. A civil respectful conversation seems to be common sense, to me. I can't expect you to listen to what I have to say if I am not willing to listen to what you have to say. I found the details of the new order: Face coverings are now REQUIRED in outdoor public spaces when social distancing is not practicable.
Exceptions for individuals:
☑️Under two years old
☑️Eating/drinking at an outdoor dining establishment
☑️When wearing a mask would inhibit health or safety
It appears that the new rule addresses many of your concerns. There is an exemption for medical issues. I think the key part of the rule is "where social distancing is not practicable". Pretty much everything you said you do outside allows you to practice social distancing so a mask wouldn't be required. While the governor didn't say, I suspect these rules are intended to give officials some recourse when groups of people gather outside and don't practice social distancing. I will share that I work in public health, I have been on the squad for over 30 years, and I worked in a hospital for 15 years. Infection control, personal protective equipment, and the disease are all things that I have professional knowledge of. I would be happy to answer any questions you may have about the disease and how we can protect ourselves.

Robin- thank you for this information. It is greatly appreciated and certainly makes sense. To those that judge me on my comments/posts, clearly they don't know me personally or think they do and push their beliefs on me so natural instinct is to reply with the same way they came at me and some how that starts a war and I end up being the cruel one. I refuse those battles any longer. However I can appreciate from your stand point on things and clearly working as an EMT you have seen and dealt with more than I ever could and I respect that. I can even appreciate that before we knew about this virus, when the EMT's came to help my Dad before he passed, they all used precautions to keep any additional exposure to him and that was meaningful to us. I am not at all trying to be ignorant or selfish to anything going on or even insincere but rather just worry about my health and well being so just want to do what's right and what makes me feel my best.

Jo - Richard Thank you!👏👏


Jo- Robin as someone who had their first Open Heart Surgery at 8 and has asthma I appreciate how some have difficulties with masks. With that said, I wear a mask and will follow the rules so that one day we all won’t have to wear masks.
I wanted to say that your last post also deserves 👏👏. We would all breathe better if we took a breath and listened to each other.



Thomas- Richard thank you for your well thought out post!