Same should go for that other one. "Working class" is no excuse. I hope he got the picture.

I don't even think they'd say it among other men. Of course, they were decent and good men.

that provokes a visceral reaction in me. The other is the N-word. There are words that I may not like, but don't offend me all that much, but I can find no excuse for calling any woman the C-word. I hope your friend did take your advice.

He's retired now and disabled, with a caregiver (female African American) who is his lifeline for what he needs in his life. I talk to him on the phone several times a week to check in and also for help he is giving me on a book I am writing (he is getting credit for his help, which is invaluable).

Even with his disabilities, he has a lot right now. His daughters, whom he offended horribly when he divorced their mother, have been more helpful so that wound might be healing.

I think there really might be some people who do not realize how hurtful and debasing that word is. Perhaps your passionate response got through to him. However, I can think of one person in my life who knew the power the word had and that is precisely why he used it against me. Degrading me was his purpose and I've never forgotten it.

How exciting that you're writing a book. Hope we hear more about that.

I'll let ya'll know when I publish it!

Bill never uses that word with me and I hope he at least hesitates to use it ever.

He would never denigrate me using that or any word. I am too good a friend of his. I'm just surprised no woman has called him on it...

Too many women don't speak up when confronted with such language, though ideally it starts when they are young. My children learned very young there are certain words that will never be tolerated.

I have a feeling you did get through to your friend and he is probably grateful for it.

it was offensive all the same. He did say one of his ex wives used it. I said I didn't care that she did, altho she should have known better.

"its just locker room talk". Some words aren't acceptable anywhere, any time, from anyone. I've known women who have used it as well and that is almost worse.

The other day I was telling a story to a patient and we were talking about words that are not used and I told him that a guy I know who moved here from England had used the word casually in conversation. I told him I know that you guys use it, but over here it is never used by anybody who wants to survive in the “general population”. He was a bit incredulous, and I said why don’t you just experiment with it and see what happens. He got the point.

I've heard it used in some British movies and I always cringe, though I realize it isn't quite the verbal third-rail there the way it is here.

I was surprised to hear the the C-word has a different connotation in England and try to keep that in mind when I hear a British comedian use it, but it still brings out a horrible reaction in me.

are very funny. Particularly, the one on gun control and how the Aussies got rid of guns. Excellent.

I remember waiting in line (back when we could do that) with a young couple behind me, and the young man suddenly called his girlfriend "a f-ng ct". She stormed off, and I couldn't help myself (had sons his age), and said, "You shouldn't say that, not in public, and not in private."

He was surprised to find himself accosted (nicely! ) by a stranger, and spluttered that "she doesn't mind." I pointed out she'd deserted him, but he said it wasn't what he said that did that. (?) I said, "I doubt your mother would want to hear you say that."
"She says it too!"

Groan.
I reached back to my 70s women's studies classes, recalled one purpose of this sort of misogyny, and pointed out that both without both f-ing and c-ts, none of us would be here, and he should have more respect for women's body parts at least.

Oh, well. He laughed and agreed with that.

When those two things aren't recognized, words get used wrongly. The problem is that the particular word being discussed reduces a person to a part of female sexual anatomy. If used in anger or derision, the emotional content of the word has an impact on the brain, which does know the association between the word and its relationship to our deep-seated feelings that are associated with it. We might not be conscious of that, but the effect is very real.

When I hear someone use that word, I often suggest that they repeat what they said, but use the word "vulva" instead. That's an equivalent word in its meaning, but doesn't carry the emotional baggage of the other word, since it is never used as an insult. If the person actually repeats what was said, but with the substitution, what was said no longer means what the person meant, which was to attack.

The substitution makes it more clear why the other word is offensive. The insult loses its strength when the word "vulva" is used. The point is made.

I know I have been more careful with calling a man a d**k. "Asshole" is so much preferable and it rolls out so beautifully!

I have a "Volvo" story which I won't repeat here. Not offensive, just kinda funny...

It is a common word used down under. You hear it a few times, or a variation, through normal conversation.

Sorry you had to experience this. I hope you never have to hear "that word" again.

And don't go traveling to Australia, Sydney specifically.

I've often wondered how it became so taboo here. It is a REALLY old Germanic word.

It's a word that's been reclaimed in certain Feminist circles; I get to hear it quite a bit from my daughter when she does her Aussie accent.

It's also a word I don't think I've ever said out loud except for something like "Did you hear? <blank> was fired for saying 'C___' at work".