I'm 70 years and getting kind of feeble. I still ride a motorcycle, but without handrails, I would walk up and down that ramp carefully, too.

-- Ron

mocked others for real or imagined debility.

The USS North Carolina is a national treasure. Real heroes fought and died aboard that ship. Can't believe they covered the damn ramps for him.

Or just fking stayed away all together, better yet.

He might just roll down the ramp like a barrel in Donkey Kong. At least, that's the image I get.

but they couched that idea; something about weight issues

Wouldn't surprise me if, beneath cover of that tarp, his ass is hauled up to the deck. Be a big job but maybe if they daisy-chain a couple of carts together, or get a gas-powered cart, they could do it with only a few midshipmen pushing from behind.

to avoid scraping the sides.

In the wild, the natural enemy of the Orange Obesitous Trumpus is the ramp, even more so if it's a steep one. This is going to be good, David Attenburough to narrate the encounter.