The Onion: Ryan Handed Romney's Latest Political Positions Before Walking On Stage
DANVILLE, KYMoments before walking onstage for tonights vice presidential debate, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) was handed a revised list of his running mate Mitt Romneys most up-to-date political principles and stances on various issues. So our agenda no longer includes legislation that would restrict womens access to abortion, though we do support using an executive order to prohibit federally funded international nonprofits from providing abortion in other countriesgot it. Do we still believe health insurance providers should have the right to deny contraceptive coverage? Hold on a sec, Ryan said to advisers while furiously memorizing the 10-page briefing, the fifth packet of agenda revisions he had received from Romney since noon. Wait just one minute and okay, okay done. According to sources, Ryans handlers then shepherded the congressman onto the debate stage, where he greeted his opponent with an expressionless nod.