Said on the TeeVee

Leno

You know the difference between Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Tim Tebow? When God tells Tim Tebow to run, he wins.

Mitt Romney says he understands the middle class, and that he knows it's not easy keeping a roof over your family's heads — as well as vacation roofs in San Diego, New Hampshire, and Park City, Utah.



Conan

Fidel Castro declared that a robot would do a better job as president than Barack Obama. After hearing this, Mitt Romney thanked Castro for his endorsement.

Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was he likes to set poor people on fire.



David Letterman

Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America.

When Rick Perry heard that, he said, “Well that's nothing. I like to execute people.”



Fallon

While campaigning yesterday, Jon Huntsman said he was “ready to rock and roll.” Not to be outdone, Mitt Romney said he was ready to “easy listen.”