Dear Trolls,

I am now offering for sale an instruction booklet that will help you stay a little longer.

A couple of tips for free;

# 42 As an adjective it is always "Democratic" not Democrat.

# 23 For the rational world "FOX News" is a source of comic relief, "Comedy Central's The Daily Show" is a source for quality information, informed perspective and an occasional laugh".

#113 Being overly concerned with less than 30 replies, really is a reliable tell.

# 232 Think about the whole "I am a long time lurker and I recently joined DU and am shocked that you are all such big pricks". If you are a long time lurker then really nothing should surprise you. If you were a long time lurker then you would know that when one of our long time members faces adversity or publlishes a picture of their cat with a ball of string we all reach for the kleenex but if we think some newbie is jerking our chain we bring out the artillery.

#332 When you quote something from FReeperland or the CCave and just can't seem to find any evidence to counter it and need help because it sounds so sensible, go to the bomb shelter.

#437 Make a donation. That star always fools us.