It also depends. You make it sound as if Paul was with you? If there's two people in the car, that changes my view somewhat. If you were alone, no, it's probably not a good idea. It sucks, but I've seen enough horror movies to know it's never a good idea (of course, some pornos start out that way too, so...).

have to go with your gut instinct and hope it was the right choice.

If it within your power to help, help.

I can imagine some awful things that could happen but I...

It is possible to help and to also keep yourself in a place where you feel safe. Call me naive. But, it is possible.

Why in the heck did your silly post hit me this way?

but I do love your compassion.

I know that there is a possibility that it could be risky but...

I sort of equate it with owning a handgun. Other family members have asked me why I refuse to have any guns in my house. First, there are grandkids that come over...but more to the point. I'm asked what if you needed to defend your home? I usually say that I would rather be a statistic than have a gun in my house...it's a matter of principle. They think I'm crazy.

Paige (A Male Version)

and a Christian in particular, this is what Jesus said: "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto ME." Which I interpret as "treat others as if they were Me." That that person could have been Jesus standing there in the cold dark night. If you truly profess that kind of religion, then I guess you would stop. If you are a man of true faith, you would stop, even though your life might have been threatened. If you're true to your beliefs, you have NO FEAR. Could have been, he was waiting on a ride. I say you did the safe thing for yourself at the moment. If you had continued to feel guilty after getting home, you could call him a cab. Yeah, he was probably waiting on a ride, so don't worry about it. I don't know where you live, but if it's a city, a cop would be sauntering by soon and would stop to see what he was up to and maybe even give him a ride just to get him off the street. Stop feeling guilty.

call him a cab and if he needs it, give him the cash to pay for it.

Ain't no way I'm going to feel safe with a stranger in my car at 3:30 in the morning.

but I think it's totally up to how you feel. There is no right or wrong here.

I tend to give rides to women more often than men, but it's sort of a case by case thing.

and never ever regretted it. Found this guy on the side of the street one time after I left work in the middle of the night with his head bleeding profusely, hollering for help. I wrapped my lab coat around his head and took him to the nearest ER. Did get my lab coat back entirely soaked in blood. Took it home, threw it in the bathtubfull of cold H2O, then into a washer with hottest H2O and about a gallon of bleach & a ton of soap. Came clean as a whistle.

We're supposed to be a "united" nation, one big tribe and yet we can't realistically trust each other in a situation like that. Something must have gone terribly wrong in our social evolution if we have to feel that risk when offering to help someone.

on this post. You should not stop, today there are so many drugs on the street that it would be crazy for anyone to stop. If your a woman alone in a car and you know the person you would be taking a chance stopping. If you pick them up and get stopped by a cop and they throw drugs under the seat in your car you will go to jail. Today you should pick up no one.

Granted, I no longer get out of Vermont much and there really is a sense of community here. I often pick up young, scraggly looking men and almost invariably they are hitching 40 miles or more to a job. They are always so grateful- even if I can only take them a few miles.

deserted road. The answer changes.

Especially for women with young children. I picked up a guy in the pouring rain once and drove him home. The few minutes for me was a four mile walk for him. I don't drive to places i'm not familiar with. I am always the one to offer a ride. I think the person out to harm me would be the one looking for a ride.

I think i frightened a guy once after he said he knew i must be a good christian lady and i told him i was not a believer.

I would have stopped. But, that's me. There is no right and wrong here. But, 38 is pretty cool

That's long-sleeve shirt weather or sweater. I would have called the police and asked them to check on the guy. In Maine, a good PD will check it out without hassling the guy, and even give a person a ride without even hinting at arrest. They live there too.
-Maine resident from Texas

38 degrees is long john, sweater and parka weather.

And wanting to help outweighs my fear.

I work in a picture perfect small town in Ohio which is riddled with opiates. I advise all people to use judgement.
The road to hell is pavedcwith good intention.

This might be me speaking as a woman, but if I was driving late at night and saw a guy waiting for a ride I don't think I would stop - not because I didn't want to help, but because I'd feel it was in my best interest to err on the side of caution. This is especially true if I was alone. If the guy was elderly, it might make a difference.

My mother just passed thru a toll booth and saw an elderly woman walking along side of the road she drove past aways and then pulled over to pick the woman up. Carefully watching in her rear view she watched the old woman raise her long skirt up to begin a sprint to reach my mothers vehicle ...exposing jeans and men's shoes my mother took off just as the person reached for her BACK DOOR HANDLE....you never know sometimes if what your seeing IS what your seeing...

I mean, did he ask you for help or indicate in some way he needed help?

If you're convinced he needed help...I'm sorry, but it's just too dangerous to approach a total stranger in the middle of night, when you're by yourself, without others around. That's asking for it. You could, I suppose, have called to him from across a parking lot, with you staying in your car...but he might've then approached your car, and you would've been obliged to lower your window.

It's just too dangerous. If he needed help, he'd be in a more populous area. If he was really cold, he would've hunkered down somewhere, out of the wind, and away from being out there all alone and vulnerable to crazy people. Maybe he wasn't afraid of crazy people because he's one of them?

But there's no right or wrong answer here. Up to the individual person to decide to stop or not.

I don't trust anyone really so I would not have stopped for this reason. He can figure out how to get to the next place he needs to go without my help.

out in broad daylight. Luckily a couple of people did pass by and ask if my husband was okay. My husband who is legally blind and uses a cane quickly said he did not know this person so the strangers asked the person bothering my husband to be on his way. He did, and my husband hurried to the nearest bus and came straight home. It is sad that we have to second guess whether to help someone. If not for those strangers who intervened to help my husband he could have been hurt or killed but they were out in public in the middle of the day. I would say really listen to your instincts. If you feel the slightest bit of uneasiness don't do it. Isolation is usually not a safe position to put yourself in and giving someone a ride in a car is putting yourself in an isolated position. Help when you know you can help, but be cautious.

so I will almost always offer to help or give a ride if I can. if they are willing to put up with the hair and dirt or even ride in the back I will take them to the next exit/town/whatever.

dog knows I have needed the help enough damn times myself. and it us usually other poor people in beaters that stop. we are all in this together.

you could have given it to him. My car is full of clothes because I am disorganized.

The impulse to help is good. The observation that you don't know what you're getting into stopping your car for a stranger whose situation you do not know in the middle of the night is also valid. This wasn't someone standing by a stranded vehicle, or someone waving for help, right?

An intermediate step would have been to stop, roll down the window, and inquire. "Do you need help?" Possible the person was meeting someone. Also possible he was homeless, which would open up another set of questions and options. In any event, you'd have a chance to evaluate who you were dealing with, which I'm sure you would have done anyway.

One has to do what one is comfortable with. And a lot depends on factors specific to the incident (such as knowledge of the area). It sounds like Paul was with you at the time? Personally, I think it likely that in most such cases there is fairly little danger, but in such cases I also think it's important to respect one's companion's comfort level with the situation.

Maybe the guy was just waiting for a ride and it was a good "landmark" to tell someone to meet. If it's not too much trouble you could offer some assistance, maybe $5 for a taxi ride. Safety first always though.

"what might happen to me if I stop to help this stranger?" -- it is "what will I become if I refuse to help?" ..... paraphrasing Martin Luther King, Jr.