Trump election campaign confident of victory after portents of doom strike America

DONALD Trump’s campaign team say they are confident in their chances of electoral success as an earthquake and solar eclipse foreshadow great evil coming to the US.

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/trump-election-campaign-confident-of-victory-after-portents-of-doom-strike-america-20240408246719

https://archive.is/XLmqb



After New York was shaken by tremors on Friday and the sun will turn black over great swathes of America today, the Republican nominee’s team have confirmed that these Biblical portents are a clearer sign of upcoming victory than any opinion poll.

A campaign spokesman said: “Our next milestone is the plague of locusts we’re anticipating around June, and if we have a rain of blood and hail by mid-August, we’ll know our team is winning round swing voters on the doorstep.

“Then we’ll be looking out for great cracks in the earth belching forth fire and brimstone, and hopefully some kind of hideous beast rising from the boiling sea, like Godzilla. People will really get on board with that because they’ve seen it at the movies.

“And if a star falls from the heavens and poisons the waters of the earth by the time of the second presidential debate, then there’ll be no doubt. We’ll be expecting a landslide on election day. Literally. San Francisco will be in the sea by lunchtime.”