People who solicit business that way likely DO put pineapple on pizza.

Typically an Italian or steakhouse though. It’s free and you should be prepared for your funeral.

Gold lamine caskets with golf course plots?

And they come with a special digital thank you gift!

Of course the casket is really just a very small urn for ashes and the golf course is a former putt putt arcade game off the new jersey turnpike. Oh, and you only get a one month lease on each.

... they bought for around $30,000 to be embalmed and placed into a wall. After she was sealed up a grinning undertaker gave him a bill for another $12,000 to $16,000 for "opening and resealing" my mother's crypt.

I have a prepaid burial, too. I'm going to be placed naked into a cotton bag after all my fillings have been removed and put into a hand dug hole with no markers or evidence of a burial $3,000. There will be one witness, my wife.

I'd donate parts, but after a 12 year fight with cancer I do not think I'd be a good candidate. I don't think a medical school needs a body with so many parts missing.


The funeral business is just another racket.

Interring a body outside of an approved burial plot is unlawful.

Of course, not everyone ends up interred.

Many families/friends accept the ashes and then do with them as they wish.

... I'm OK with it.

But here there are still hygiene fears and laws intended to prevent grave-robbing.

... "oh, but then we put the casket into a vault, it holds all leakage of chemicals." Except while they know how to drain a body and refill it, they understand so very little about hydraulics and how many vaults fill with ground water and overflow into the aquifer.

legislators and regulatory agency personnel who are 100% clueless about the things for which they write laws.

As ancient diseases emerge from the melting and eroding permafrost I expect fears of this sort to rise and rationality to diminish.

I really don't care what happens to my body. Go as cheap and environmentally friendly as possible, is my thinking.

I think this is the end result of Americans being seen and valued only as consumers or economic units and not as who we are: human beings living together in a society engaged in seeking individual happiness and promoting the common good.

When I read your post I was reminded of the Republican politician in Texas who was opposing Covid lockdown and told older people that they should be glad to die if it meant keeping a great economy going for their grandchildren.

on folding tables with no sneeze shields, or temp control, seems like a quick path to being some undertaker's customer.

and that IS what the sponsor WANTS.

Since 2003 I've been to a restaurant once. That was because I bought my partner gift cards for a restaurant she wanted to experience. The meal cost $133 dollars before the tip.

I don't expect to die tomorrow, but I don't expect I'll ever sit in a restaurant again. I'm not a fan of eating out I do most of the preps of supper meals, and don't really mind doing that. My partner sees her meal preps as emerging from an exploitive expectation of her femininity... which is why I do most of our suppers

I'm holding out for an offer of bar-b-cue from a crematorium.
Seriously, I've gotten a few offers that were tied to rather up scale restaurants, you know they're going to be high pressure pitches.

on Charlotte Ave has a crematorium right next to a BBQ place.
Crematorium was built first iirc

organization. They take care of everything, cremate the remains after harvesting what parts can be used, and return the ashes to my family when completed. The only expense to my family will be certified copies of the death certificate for the accounts at the bank and whoever else may need them. It takes away all the hassle.

Wife: I'm going to spread them on the porch steps when it gets icy.
Undertaker: I take it you won't be joining the bereavement group?

Old, old Wizard of Id cartoon.

Is it that frozen "Tombstone" brand pizza?