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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsRomney starts over
Romney starting over from the beginning.
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"If I did it once I can do it again" said a somewhat disheveled and pathetic Romney at his new job. His wife Ann was inside behind the counter quietly crying, telling customers to eat cake and slipping 20's into her bra. The floor was littered with torn up home redecorating magazines and pictures of Michelle Obama. She fired up a cigarette beneath the "No smoking" sign and gave the finger to her huckster husband outside.
Mitt's sons, Tab, Biff and Powie pulled in one by one in their Euro-trash sports cars and made dad give them a fill-up while they laughed and brandished money to impress the hookers they had riding shotgun. No one went in to see Ann. They knew better. An old friend watched silently at the pathos. As the son's squealed away, Romney began dousing himself with fuel.
"Uh, Mitt? the friend said carefully, "Don't be so hard on yourself. You never really started like this. Your Dad gave you a million bucks and his friends gave you a leg up. You just were good at destroying perfectly good companies and filling your pockets. It's OK you lost the election and can't even pump gas competently."
Mitt looked up, his face full of sorrow and wet with gasoline and newly diluted grease from the oily pomade that used to slick back his heavily dyed hair. "You think maybe I don't need to immolate myself?"
"That's right, Mitt, you're just a chiseling rich bastard like me, nothing wrong with that," his friend said earnestly.
The front door of the convenience mart opened and Ann walked out, obviously shaken and irritable from drinking a case of 5 hour energy and downing a rack of Krispy Kremes. She had a lit cigarette in her mouth and removed it slowly, eying the two friends who began backing away. ""You got that insurance paid up Mitty?" she said holding the butt in flick position in her trembling hands.
"No" said Mitt shakily. "Liar" she said flatly, "I paid it myself this morning." The cigarette took flight.
dommyluc
(57 posts)After reading that stomach-turning piece of Romney-ass-kissing fluff(ing) by Philip Rucker in the WP, this was a well-needed antidote.
I wonder if Mr. Rucker needed as much drugs to write his piece of journalistic malpractice as I needed to read it?
russspeakeasy
(6,539 posts)dgauss
(883 posts)I think you really captured the essence of Tab, Biff and Powie. And that's just the way I would picture Ann flicking a lit cigarette at a gasoline drenched Romney.
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)Bozvotros
(785 posts)Thanks. It just kind of flowed out. I am amazed at how much I came to detest the whole Romney clan.
lastlib
(23,284 posts)"Massive Explosion at Filling Station Kills Romneys, Others." Video at 11.....
malaise
(269,157 posts)Brilliant
Kahuna
(27,311 posts)dmr
(28,349 posts)CountAllVotes
(20,878 posts)Boy, talk about creative names, these are a few of them.
No wonder Mitt looks disheveled!
Great piece of writing there!!
Raine
(30,540 posts)onethatcares
(16,184 posts)some of the Hunter???? Maybe???
Good work.