The Apology: A Guide

I've noticed that Republicans seem to have great difficulty with offering a proper apology. Perhaps this guide will help any lurkers out there.


PROPER APOLOGY

"I fucked up when I took this position, and for that, I apologize."

Okay, they'll probably be more eloquent than that, but you get the point. There's no dancing around the issue in that statement, no qualifiers. You acknowledge that what you did or said was wrong and plainly offer your apology. Simple as that.


INAPPROPRIATE APOLOGY

"I took this position, and I apologize to anyone who was offended."

This is not a proper apology. Think about the statement for a moment, particularly the underlined portion. The speaker is not apologizing for what he or she did/said. Instead, they are apologizing to anyone who was offended by it. The speaker has not apologized for their actions and may well be entirely content with them.


That second example seems to be prolific among Republicans. People buy into it because they see that it's an apology, assume all's well, and don't read closely enough to realize that it's actually a non-apology. Qualifiers and hidden messages are standard practice when Republicans make these statements.

Fact is, you already know you've probably fucked up if you have to confront the issue publicly. It's the decent ones who'll acknowledge that and own up to it.