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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy mother pass away early last night. I'm sorry for
not posting this earlier but I just wasn't able.
She had gone into the hospital with the flu (she had the flu shot in Oct) but the dehydration that resulted from it, had caused her kidney's to fail, fluid to build up in the lungs and her heart to be over burdened.
Everyone who knew my mother loved her, she had never met a stranger. I am so grateful to have had her as my mother and to be at her bedside when she passed.
To all of the DUers who were following my posts as I posted from the hospital from my I Phone, I want to thank you for the warmth and generosity of spirit you gave me. I cannot express enough what it meant to me and how much it helped to carry me through this journey.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i am sorry for the pain that you will have to experience. to be with her was such a great gift to you both.
take care of you.
SugarShack
(1,635 posts)arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)stone cold silent in the hallway. All of the staff was standing there weeping and the ambulatory patients were standing in their doorways, weeping. They all then engulfed us with hugs and the most wonderful words of kindness of my mother. They thanked us for our kindness to them throughout these past weeks. The outpouring of love stunned us in awe.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Iris
(15,670 posts)It's hard to believe a spirit like that can ever truly die. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Helen Reddy
(998 posts)arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)to bring my paints up. So I went home, gathered them up and took them to her room. Each day, sometimes several times a day she would have me painting different things as she heard that "such and such patient" loves this or that. As per her request I would then take it to their room and hang it on the board in front of their bed. They were all signed "Hugs and Kisses". She was insistent that they have joy to carry them through.
Helen Reddy
(998 posts)Thank you for sharing that bit of loveliness.
laruemtt
(3,992 posts)i lost my mama 2-1/2 years ago. she will give you strength to get through this, and she will always be with you.
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)put it in your shoes as some say but pass it on to the first stranger you see. "Good luck should always be passed on". Whether it's a penny, nickel, dime, tuney or lunie it always brings a smile to the recipients face, it's truly amazing.
classof56
(5,376 posts)Speaking of pennies--since my Mom died, I have found pennies which I know she has left me. On sidewalks, streets, parking lots, many different places. I had heard the "pennies from heaven" notion that when you find a penny, it was from a loved one. I know if your mom so blesses you, you will share them with others, as you have been doing. And you'll continue to see them smile. I have a feeling she'll see those smiles as well.
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)Earth_First
(14,910 posts)arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)doorway to someone's home she would say in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear "you hoo" and we knew Joy had arrived.
yesphan
(1,588 posts)myrna minx
(22,772 posts)arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)she was in the hospital knew that the flowers would invariably end up in another persons room with a label card saying "Hugs and Kisses". Knowing my Mum, we were never offended because we knew she didn't want another feeling unloved or alone.
Tikki
(14,559 posts)Tikki
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)Canada Goose. After she splinted its wing as best she knew how, she exclaimed " ok, now how do we house train it?"
Tikki
(14,559 posts)Hold those memories tight...this is how people who never had the
chance to meet her will get to know her...and those who knew her
will shine with her, forever...
Tikki
p.s. my sweet mother-in-law, Demi, was like your mom...
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)with these special gems beside us.
I keep having this silly thought that if I remember her enough she will magically appear.... I hate the hollow.
PoliticAverse
(26,366 posts)Not Me
(3,398 posts)It sounds like she was a really special person.
My condolences.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)My own mother got the flu at the beginning of December and was very sick. Luckily, she got over it and is well now.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your tribute your mother is wonderful though, she sounds like she was a wonderful lady.
Tippy
(4,610 posts)Marrah_G
(28,581 posts)Your DU you family is here for you.
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)brawl with another girl. It was a pathetic performance on my part as I couldn't even land one punch and ended up with a real shiner. As my Mum was putting ice on my cheek in complete silence which let me know her absolute displeasure in what I had done, she then cupped me face in her hands and said "we weren't given hands to harm another but to lift them up". She made me do the evening dishes for the old chap across the lane for a week
snacker
(3,619 posts)Sincerest sympathy to you and yours. Peace.
malaise
(269,187 posts)HappyMe
(20,277 posts)cordelia
(2,174 posts)LisaLynne
(14,554 posts)My thoughts are with you.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)My mother passed in her bed after a long bout with pancreatic cancer in 2010.
question everything
(47,537 posts)How heart breaking for you. Wishing you cherished memories forever.
Solly Mack
(90,787 posts)livetohike
(22,165 posts)knew and loved your Mom The good memories you have in your heart will bring you comfort and let the love of friends and family bring you peace.
AnotherDreamWeaver
(2,852 posts)sheshe2
(83,929 posts)polly7
(20,582 posts)siligut
(12,272 posts)Your lovely memory of her will live on.
MADem
(135,425 posts)bemildred
(90,061 posts)OneGrassRoot
(22,920 posts)Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)my mom passed away 25 years ago, and it is still hard. Time makes it a little easier, but they are never truly gone (luckily) and some grief and sadness does remain (unfortunately).
Sounds like my mom and your mom were quite alike. No one was a stranger to my mom!
niyad
(113,582 posts)is here for you.
Bossy Monkey
(15,863 posts)Chorophyll
(5,179 posts)Love and strength to you and yours.
Duval
(4,280 posts)for your loss. Heartfelt wishes and prayers from me to you and your family. I know having you by her bedside was of great comfort to both of you. Keep the happy memories alive.
no_hypocrisy
(46,202 posts)((((( HUGS )))))
Voice for Peace
(13,141 posts)I think for a few days at least after somebody passes
away, they are still very much alive nearby and can
communicate to us. It may sound crazy and I'm a
profound skeptic. It is subtle but it has happened so
many times that I've come to believe it. People don't
really die. It's just a transfer, a big change. I never
will believe that all of the love and learning and
feeling human beings do here can die and disappear.
We're all part of a beautiful, deathless ocean.
"Death is just the relationship of our body to this earth."
What do you remember most and best about her?
My mother died in 2000 and I am still trying to remember
her, and still wondering who was she?
best wishes to get through, letting yourself feel
& remember.
sinkingfeeling
(51,474 posts)enlightenment
(8,830 posts)I know, from experience, how very difficult losing out parents is - take one step at a time. Find a picture of her that you love and fix that image in your mind - you want to remember her smile and her laugh. You'll never forget her love.
Hugs.
Smilo
(1,944 posts)and your family, my sincere condolences.
I hope in time that your tears be replaced by laughter and smiles in remembrance of a lovely lady.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,023 posts)from other places. May your mom's gentle wisdom appear more often to you now.
My father,then my younger brother, then my mother all passed in the last few years. Each day I marvel at all the little and big things they taught me.
"She had never met a stranger" is powerful sentiment and a such a fitting tribute. Could any of us ask for more than that in life?
mike_c
(36,281 posts)Egalitarian Thug
(12,448 posts)magical thyme
(14,881 posts)Thank you for sharing...your mother sounds like she was very special.
a kennedy
(29,711 posts)MynameisBlarney
(2,979 posts)I am sending positive thoughts to you and yours.
cate94
(2,813 posts)msanthrope
(37,549 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Hugs to you.
Justice
(7,188 posts)I am really touched by your post expressing the person that your mom was to you and to so many others. Knowing that will sustain you in these early days, as I am sure you miss her very much.
yellerpup
(12,254 posts)I am grateful you had a chance to be with her at the end.
LiberalLoner
(9,762 posts)she visited me in my dreams and I felt the dreams were real. She told me she would always be watching over me and would always hear me when I talked with her.
nolabear
(41,991 posts)LoisB
(7,234 posts)Festivito
(13,452 posts)You can be as alike to her as you want to be. But, be yourself of course since she already lives inside you. One can see that in what you wrote.
aquart
(69,014 posts)And so glad you had such a wonderful woman for your mother.
JohnnyLib2
(11,212 posts)Hekate
(90,829 posts)Hekate
TDale313
(7,820 posts)catbyte
(34,458 posts)Window
(7,265 posts)God needed another angel. Will keep you and yours in my prayers.
Peace
The Second Stone
(2,900 posts)I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
barbtries
(28,811 posts)Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)gademocrat7
(10,672 posts)So sorry for your loss.
tblue
(16,350 posts)So very sorry sweetie. It's so beautiful how clearly you see your mom. That's a gift to both of you. Love and hugs to you. I wish I could say or do more.
AndyA
(16,993 posts)Mom's are special. I lost mine when I was 17, and no matter how old you are when you lose your parents, it's too early. There's something very strange about the realization that the people who are responsible for bringing you into this world are no longer around.
I don't know how old you are, but no matter your age the loss of a parent hurts.
Just remember that the love you shared never dies, and as long as you're alive, they live as well because of the memories of them you keep alive. All those times when it was just you and your parent--no one else--those are snapshots of time that are yours alone now.
Your Mother must have been a very special person, because of what you've written about her. I'm very sorry that she's passed away.
Sending good thoughts your way, and will hope you find strength through the love you shared with your Mom.
Rozlee
(2,529 posts)Mothers are forever, even though we lose them in death. I know you don't feel that way now since you loss is so recent and ravaging you so cruelly.
"I will live in your heart and your memories
Take me out in your times of joy, sorrow or reflection
I'll be there for you."
Author unknown
daleanime
(17,796 posts)they fail to carry the full weight of our experience, our feelings. Pain shared is lessened, joy shared multiplies.
Be good to your self, and stay a true daughter to your revered mother.
intheflow
(28,504 posts)But I'm very glad you have such loving memories of her to comfort and guide you for the rest of your life. Be well knowing you were loved deeply by a lovely soul.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)ProSense
(116,464 posts)Sorry for your tragic loss.
May your Mom RIP.
evemac
(133 posts)susanr516
(1,425 posts)Your mother sounds like a wonderful, caring person.
Jane Austin
(9,199 posts)Thank you for sharing her with us.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)SummerSnow
(12,608 posts)fadedrose
(10,044 posts)and the family had a regular Christmas/Whatever holiday. How thoughtful of her.
Sorry for your loss.
mountain grammy
(26,655 posts)It's a blessing you were there for her.
libodem
(19,288 posts)She won't have to suffer anymore. Sorry for your loss.
fizzgig
(24,146 posts)i am so sorry for your loss
doccraig67
(86 posts)I grew up in a generation in which it wasn't manly to cry. When my mother had a massive stroke, they kept her alive long enough for all us kids to get a chance to say goodbye. When I walked into that room I began to bawl uncontrollably. Seeing my beautiful mother on her death bed in a coma was just too much to bear. That was Dec. 20, 2001 and today I can happily reminisce about my lovely mother without the pain. Of course I still miss her, but time healed the wound.
Worried senior
(1,328 posts)she sounds like a very special woman.
xxqqqzme
(14,887 posts)It sounds like she left you with wonderful memories to treasure. You will pass those along to others and continue to spread her joy.
Liberalynn
(7,549 posts)southernyankeebelle
(11,304 posts)Nothing compares to that motherly love you lose.
FlaGranny
(8,361 posts)My mother passed away 11 years ago at the age of 94. She came to me in my sleep. I asked her, "What are you doing here? You died." She said, "I did? Now what have I gone and done?" In life, that was always what she said when she messed something up. I woke with a smile and told everyone in the family. They also smiled - it was so much "her." May your mom come to you and leave you with a smile too.
indepat
(20,899 posts)Lone_Star_Dem
(28,158 posts)You've painted a picture for us of a beautiful person the world was richer for having had grace its presence.
Thank you for sharing her beauty with all of us. My heart goes out to all who will miss her light in their lives.
Rex
(65,616 posts)I am just getting over having pneumonia.
Your mother sounds like a wonderful person and the people around her were lucky enough to have known her.
pacalo
(24,721 posts)I lost my mother on November 24, so I know your pain.
Phentex
(16,334 posts)hedgehog
(36,286 posts)u4ic
(17,101 posts)Please be gentle with yourself, and seek support wherever you can - family, friends, DU, even a grief counsellor if you need it.
It took me almost a year after my mother died to even think straight. Grief can be a very long and lonely journey, but we are here for you.
MannyGoldstein
(34,589 posts)Peace to all.
bkkyosemite
(5,792 posts)Look around be aware of little things and you will learn to smile and wonder hmmm that was strange ...but not strange at all. She is watching over you never believe different.
graham4anything
(11,464 posts)24/7/365 many always here to talk to and comfort
Maraya1969
(22,505 posts)we can do it
(12,197 posts)virgdem
(2,127 posts)Your Mom sounds like a wonderful, giving person and you will have those memories always.
Lisa D
(1,532 posts)Peace to you and your loved ones.
Whovian
(2,866 posts)I am so sorry for your loss.
ProfessionalLeftist
(4,982 posts)Please take care of yourself and accept my condolences to you and your family.
warrprayer
(4,734 posts)Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)Suprk
(90 posts)joeybee12
(56,177 posts)Having gone through this myself a few weeks back, I know the rough time you're having.
derby378
(30,252 posts)WinkyDink
(51,311 posts)Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)I'm sure you are being comforted by being able to be with her at the end. Thank you for letting us know.
silverweb
(16,402 posts)emsimon33
(3,128 posts)It is so very difficult to lose your mom.
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)dorkzilla
(5,141 posts)and I meant to pm you to see how you both were feeling, but after we exchanged messages I got much sicker so I haven't been on here.
I am so so very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Nothing anyone can say or do will take away your sorrow, but know that your mother will continue to live as long as you do, through your love and remembrances. In time, the tears will subside, however slowly, and will be replaced by the smile that will cross your face when you think of her.
Although my parents are both alive, my own dearest Grandma died in my arms 23 years ago and not a day has gone by that I don't think of her. And as I have slipped into middle age, I see her own face when I look in the mirror and hear her clearly every time I laugh. The "mystic chords of memory" will keep your mother with you for the rest of your days.
Just remember, not only were you blessed with such a mother, but she was blessed by having such a devoted and loving child.
xo
ReRe
(10,597 posts)Sounds very similar to my own Mother's passing. So I know the emptiness you're feeling. Memories are your salvation, it's not just a nice thing to say at a time like this. Your memories of your precious relationship with her will get you through this. Even after she's gone, she's there. She's in the blood that flows around in your body, and she's in your mind in the memories.
Deepest condolences to you and your family.
judesedit
(4,443 posts)place looking and feeling absolutely wonderful. It helps.
Unknown Beatle
(2,672 posts)My mom passed in March 2011 from a very aggressive form of cancer. She was diagnosed in November 2010 and a short four months later she died. I was devastated. As time goes on, the pain seems to subside but it still lingers and I think the pain will always be there. It seems like everyday I think about her in one way or another. This has been some of what I have experienced with the death of a loved one.
I know how painful it can be and I wish you Godspeed on your healing from a great loss.
Again, I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.
loudsue
(14,087 posts)Riley18
(1,127 posts)juajen
(8,515 posts)memories to help get through. So very sorry.
liberal N proud
(60,346 posts)WillyT
(72,631 posts)Peace...
& Rec !!!
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)Last edited Wed Jan 23, 2013, 03:40 AM - Edit history (1)
to find this young, good looking chap eating Shepherds Pie at the kitchen table. My Mum was washing some dishes and she turned and said "Suzie, this is our new house mate Randy". Now things had been kind if tense in the house before this, owing to the fact that food had gone missing as of late, from the refrigerator and the cupboards. Randy smoked and back then so did my Mum, so she offered him a fag. While they were smoking and chit chatting, in walks my brother and I swear he turned white as snow. "Harold, Randy here is under the impression that we put up company in the crawl space below." Her tone let you know that her knickers were in a knot.
Randy was from Florida and had come up to Canada because he didn't want to go to Vietnam. He had been living in our basement which was literally a crawl space of dirt, for the past week at my brithers insistence. The missing food and odd noises we had been experiencing, were not in our heads. Randy stayed with us for about five months and he never failed to send a Christmas card and anniversary card (the day he was introduced to Shepherds Pie) to my Mum. She adored the pictures of his family all these years.
I rang Randy today and we both wept.
renate
(13,776 posts)No wonder you love your mum so much--what a sweetheart. (Your brother sounds pretty cool too.)
I'm so sorry. A wonderful parent is such an incredible blessing but losing them is like losing the sun.
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)feels like the rays have faded.
WillyT
(72,631 posts)She must have been a wonderful woman.
roguevalley
(40,656 posts)a parent or two, I know very little helps. Your mama sounds wonderful. I wish you and your family all the love I can send you. She is around you. She will stay there. Just listen hard and she will let you know. Take care and know you are loved.
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)stupid attacks of "how do I go on?""what will I do at 10 AM, 2 PM and 7:30 PM when I'm itching to ring her up as I have always done?" The charity I have been shown from the dear hearts on DU have brought me to tears...bloody hell they've started again..
patrice
(47,992 posts)We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, remembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the appletree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, halfheard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always-
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are infolded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.
T.S. Eliot - Four Quartets - 1943
I don't have the right to say what this means to you and your mother, arthritisR_US, it's just something that I have found helpful in my own experience of those who have passed on.
joanbarnes
(1,723 posts)rustydog
(9,186 posts)I lost my mother 38 years ago and I miss her still. Remember, a part of her is with you always.
onlyadream
(2,168 posts)I lost my dad this past fall, and it was the hardest thing I ever went thru. Just try to get thru it, that's all I can say.
MFM008
(19,820 posts)When my dad died in 2000, ive always thought of him in the other room, He used to do the bills ,listen to his classical music, sometimes all day ( probably to get away from us). Sorry for your lose. You dont really get over it, you just get better with it.
Sissyk
(12,665 posts)I almost lost mine 10 years ago to a brain aneurysm and have been thankful every day since that she is still with me. Even being a daddy's girl, there is nothing like a mothers love.
tavernier
(12,406 posts)and I'm so very sorry.
sasha031
(6,700 posts)840high
(17,196 posts)Demonaut
(8,927 posts)Glimmer of Hope
(5,823 posts)She must have been a wonderful mother. I am so sorry for your loss.
arthritisR_US
(7,299 posts)sight I took her over several containers of homemade soup I had made for her. The next day she rang me up raving about the soup and asking me if she could have more. I was pleased she enjoyed it so but astounded she had eaten five containers worth, as she ate like a bird. She then said she must have misplaced four of them. Later I went to her flat with more, going down the hall I ran into a few of her neighbours who thanked me profusely for the wonderful soup. Ever since then, I took her over a bag of containers for her and another bag in case she misplaced the first.
iandhr
(6,852 posts)femmocrat
(28,394 posts)I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing is ever the same after your mom passes away.
westerebus
(2,976 posts)BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)Digit
(6,163 posts)My heart goes out to you and your family.
yardwork
(61,712 posts)Firebrand Gary
(5,044 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)MrMickeysMom
(20,453 posts)I was not following much but the president's day.
May your heart heal and know that she is always "with you" in love.
Auntie Bush
(17,528 posts)oldandhappy
(6,719 posts)Hard to have your mom go on without you. Prayers for you.
hopemountain
(3,919 posts)continue to be warmed and comforted by sweet memories of your mum and warmed by her love and light.
i am sorry for your loss
thank you for sharing those little stories about her.
mia
(8,363 posts)Thank you for sharing your loss with us.
redwitch
(14,948 posts)I am so sorry for your loss but it sounds like you had a wonderful mom, a real treasure. Not everyone has that.
Claybrains
(132 posts)Iwillnevergiveup
(9,298 posts)Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beloved mother. You have many wonderful memories of her that are yours forever and which will always remain precious. But it sounds as if you were as much a blessing to her as she was to you, and you can take comfort in that. As your mom already has.
Peace to you, your family and to all the "strangers" whose lives were touched by your mother.
cntrfthrs
(252 posts)My Mother passed away November 30 and that was just yesterday...it's the kids that are most important now. I tell them it's time now to look in a different direction...
Democat
(11,617 posts)I'm sure she was a wonderful woman.
Granny M
(1,395 posts)She sounds like a wonderful woman. Loved your story about the paintings for the other patients. Peace to you and yours.
Raine
(30,540 posts)who loved her.
AirmensMom
(14,648 posts)Lunabelle
(454 posts)No matter how old are, when a parent dies you feel like an orphan. Again, I am very sorry but it was a good thing that you were able to be there with her. Peace and Love to you.
mazzarro
(3,450 posts)I join the rest of the DU family to send you and your family our heartfelt condolences.
May her soul rest in perfect peace.
Jawja
(3,233 posts)tama
(9,137 posts)farmbo
(3,122 posts)Peace.